A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Dear Maggie
How`s your mother`s concept of time? I can understand your concerns about breaking the news to your mother the respite is permanent but if her concept of time is confused , perhaps you can call it respite permanently.
Your sister will have to come to terms with your mother being in a home. You took responsibility for most of the caring so you were the one to see you were unable to meet your mother`s needs.
It`s a tough decision but it looks very early on the best decision has been made.
How`s your mother`s concept of time? I can understand your concerns about breaking the news to your mother the respite is permanent but if her concept of time is confused , perhaps you can call it respite permanently.
Your sister will have to come to terms with your mother being in a home. You took responsibility for most of the caring so you were the one to see you were unable to meet your mother`s needs.
It`s a tough decision but it looks very early on the best decision has been made.
Oh! Sylvia the unpredicatability of this illness is heart wrenching!
I do hope it is just a blip but understand completely where you are coming from. Glad you have had a chat with Paul about it.
I hope you have had some sleep and that your next visit to Dhiren is a better one.
Love
I do hope it is just a blip but understand completely where you are coming from. Glad you have had a chat with Paul about it.
I hope you have had some sleep and that your next visit to Dhiren is a better one.
Love
I keep saying I'll start a thread on the main board but so many have been through this now and I should be a 'big girl' and just get on with it.
That would be a good idea, your perception and experience as a daughter is different to those of a spouse....though of course there will be similarities. I am sure that other daughters and sons would find your insights helpful.
Amy
That would be a good idea, your perception and experience as a daughter is different to those of a spouse....though of course there will be similarities. I am sure that other daughters and sons would find your insights helpful.
Amy
I keep saying I'll start a thread on the main board but so many have been through this now and I should be a 'big girl' and just get on with it.
I agree with Helen Maggie. Do start your own Thread about your`s and your mother`s journey.
I have been through it with my mother and it is very different to going through it with my husband. Very different indeed.
And Maggie. `getting on with it` is easier said than done.
My Dear Sylvia. I was saddend to read about your last visit to see Dirhen but true to form you had realised why you felt as you did , Hope your next visit you find Dirhen a pleasanter mood and you are more relaxed, love to you both Pam
Dear Sylvia,
All our journeys are different with differing degrees of difficulties. None of them are easy.
It is tough for you right now and that's why so many of us wish to offer you support.
Whether it's one or a hundred bad visits, it's still hard.
We have lost our husbands in one way or another and it's heartbreaking............. and sleep robbing.
Waffling here, guess I'm trying to say if you're upset so are your fellow TPer's. I hope things improve and you get some shut eye.
Much love Bastan
All our journeys are different with differing degrees of difficulties. None of them are easy.
It is tough for you right now and that's why so many of us wish to offer you support.
Whether it's one or a hundred bad visits, it's still hard.
We have lost our husbands in one way or another and it's heartbreaking............. and sleep robbing.
Waffling here, guess I'm trying to say if you're upset so are your fellow TPer's. I hope things improve and you get some shut eye.
Much love Bastan
Thank you Bastan.
I`ll see how Paul finds him tomorrow.
Paul always takes Dhiren into his room for more privacy. Dhiren often asks him whose is the bed. This is news to me and I must find out more.
The thought of Dhiren being upset at bed time because he has no idea he is expected to sleep in the home is something I find really upsetting. Staff have said he resists being helped to undress at night. Now I`m beginning to understand why.
I`ll see how Paul finds him tomorrow.
Paul always takes Dhiren into his room for more privacy. Dhiren often asks him whose is the bed. This is news to me and I must find out more.
The thought of Dhiren being upset at bed time because he has no idea he is expected to sleep in the home is something I find really upsetting. Staff have said he resists being helped to undress at night. Now I`m beginning to understand why.
Oh, Sylvia. I expect you almost wish you hadn't learned that particular piece of information, that Dhiren queries whose is the bed ... And that he resists being got ready for bed at night.
You have hit a rough patch here, haven't you. I am so sorry. I am not sure that you go in for virtual hugs and stuff, but perhaps you might accept a virtual warm blanket to keep you snug for as long as it's necessary.
I hope you manage to get a decent night's sleep tonight. I see you were up in the wee small hours this morning. A warm bath and a hot drink, perhaps?
Thinking of you and sending love,
Nan XXX
You have hit a rough patch here, haven't you. I am so sorry. I am not sure that you go in for virtual hugs and stuff, but perhaps you might accept a virtual warm blanket to keep you snug for as long as it's necessary.
I hope you manage to get a decent night's sleep tonight. I see you were up in the wee small hours this morning. A warm bath and a hot drink, perhaps?
Thinking of you and sending love,
Nan XXX
I am sorry to hear about Dhiren, Sylvia. He has been so contented it is devastating to see this change in him. Strange how we hope it is an infection so that a/bs will work rather than a downturn.
It will be interesting to hear how Paul finds Dhiren today. I wonder if they will be able to discuss Man United.
Love
It will be interesting to hear how Paul finds Dhiren today. I wonder if they will be able to discuss Man United.
Love
Dear Sylvia, I am so sorry that your last visit was like this. I do understand how upsetting it is. This is how my FIL behaved when we visited up until very recently. He is now more accepting to the idea that it is his bed and his room, although he asks us for confirmation several times each visit. I hope things improve for you again very soon. Sending you a hug and some positives vibes. xx
Dear Sylvia,
I am sorry to hear you are having a rough time with Dhiren at the moment.
In my experience, it doesn't matter how much I read about Dementia, I am still totally unprepared when a downturn happens.
I can't totally understand your feelings as it is your husband who is the sufferer and in my case a parent. It must be so upsetting for you as he has been reasonably stable for some time now.
I hope it is just down to an infection and that he will be more settled soon. I is so hard watching our loved ones slipping away from us isn't it.?
Sending love,
Jeanne x
I am sorry to hear you are having a rough time with Dhiren at the moment.
In my experience, it doesn't matter how much I read about Dementia, I am still totally unprepared when a downturn happens.
I can't totally understand your feelings as it is your husband who is the sufferer and in my case a parent. It must be so upsetting for you as he has been reasonably stable for some time now.
I hope it is just down to an infection and that he will be more settled soon. I is so hard watching our loved ones slipping away from us isn't it.?
Sending love,
Jeanne x
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