I'm so sorry to hear that! Thank heaven for your children and their abilities to sort out things. One step at a time.((((hugs)))I think its time I took a deep breath and fill you all in on what has happened since I last posted. Some of you will have noticed that I dissappeared for a while and although I have returned and made one or two posts, I havent been able to articulate what happened.
When I last posted OH was back from hospital with an indwelling catheter, a bag of bits and no written instructions or paperwork of any sort. I was assured that OH had been shown what to do and knew exactly how to deal with it..............
What I hadnt mentioned was that on that first night back, although there was no little pool of wee, the catheter had become detached from the night bag to the leg bag (it was wound round his torso) so that the bedding was a bit damp and I had to wash it all.
The district nurse was supposed to come, but was a no show, so I had to fit everything together again that night.
OH has a condition called nocturnal polyurea, which means that he only passes about 200 - 400 cc of urine during the day and all the rest (about 1.5 - 2 litres) during the night, so I had to make sure that I used a large night bag.
The following morning I took him up a cup of coffee in the morning and, as I opened the door, the stench hit me. There wasnt a single drop of urine in the night bag - the catheter had become detached again, obviously very early on, and everything (nearly 2 litres) had gone into the bed. The bed was sodden and so were the pillows and duvet. OH needed a shower, but I had no bath board and didnt know whether I had to remove the leg bag and, if so, how to put it back together again. I put OH in a dressing gown and sat him down while I tried to work out what to do. I stripped the bed and put everything on to wash and then tried to find out who could offer me some advice about what to do as it was obvious that OH would not be able to sleep in that bed that night. After several phone calls I eventually got through to the emergency number and got the most unhelpful person known to man on the other end.
I asked what I was doing wrong and she said that I hadnt been doing anything wrong, but when I asked whether you could get connections that clipped or screwed together she replied - no you push it in and there isnt anything else. When I pointed out that if you just pushed it in that meant that it could be just pulled out she said I had to stop him doing that !!!!!! I was getting a bit hysterical by then and said I couldnt do this and there was nowhere for him to sleep that night, so she suggested I put a blanket on the bed!!!!!!!!!
At this point the washing cycle finished, so I opened the washing machine door to discover that all the bedding still smelt of urine, the bed smelt of urine, OH smelt of urine - in fact the whole house smelt of urine and there didnt seem to be anything I could do. It felt like I had crashed into a brick wall and I basically broke. Fortunately, at that point my cleaner (who I get through Age UK) arrived and found me in a distrought state. She phoned through to the office and they called the GP.
After that everything is a bit hazy. The GP got OH re-admitted and someone contacted the children, who between them took control. They booked me in for 3 nights at a travel lodge and sorted out the house. They ditched the bed, mattress, duvet and pillows and bought new ones and cleaned the whole house, so there was no lingering smell of urine when I came back. They researched care homes and OH has gone into one for a months respite.
I have started anti-depressants and the children found me a counsellor. There have been so many people that I have had to talk to about me and also about OH. The antidepressants havent yet "kicked in" and Im finding night time particularly hard.
I have no idea what is going to happen in the future. The children want OH to move into residential care, but we wont be self-funded and I honestly cant see that happening. Im just taking it a day at a time.
Sweetheart, you are such a good, kind supportive lady to us all. It is time that residential care is considered seriously, even if it does mean needing LA funding. They cannot sell your house with you in it either, it has to be disregarded. This kind of incident is too much for you to deal with. I am so sorry. all fellow feeling and love, Kindred.I think its time I took a deep breath and fill you all in on what has happened since I last posted. Some of you will have noticed that I dissappeared for a while and although I have returned and made one or two posts, I havent been able to articulate what happened.
When I last posted OH was back from hospital with an indwelling catheter, a bag of bits and no written instructions or paperwork of any sort. I was assured that OH had been shown what to do and knew exactly how to deal with it..............
What I hadnt mentioned was that on that first night back, although there was no little pool of wee, the catheter had become detached from the night bag to the leg bag (it was wound round his torso) so that the bedding was a bit damp and I had to wash it all.
The district nurse was supposed to come, but was a no show, so I had to fit everything together again that night.
OH has a condition called nocturnal polyurea, which means that he only passes about 200 - 400 cc of urine during the day and all the rest (about 1.5 - 2 litres) during the night, so I had to make sure that I used a large night bag.
The following morning I took him up a cup of coffee in the morning and, as I opened the door, the stench hit me. There wasnt a single drop of urine in the night bag - the catheter had become detached again, obviously very early on, and everything (nearly 2 litres) had gone into the bed. The bed was sodden and so were the pillows and duvet. OH needed a shower, but I had no bath board and didnt know whether I had to remove the leg bag and, if so, how to put it back together again. I put OH in a dressing gown and sat him down while I tried to work out what to do. I stripped the bed and put everything on to wash and then tried to find out who could offer me some advice about what to do as it was obvious that OH would not be able to sleep in that bed that night. After several phone calls I eventually got through to the emergency number and got the most unhelpful person known to man on the other end.
I asked what I was doing wrong and she said that I hadnt been doing anything wrong, but when I asked whether you could get connections that clipped or screwed together she replied - no you push it in and there isnt anything else. When I pointed out that if you just pushed it in that meant that it could be just pulled out she said I had to stop him doing that !!!!!! I was getting a bit hysterical by then and said I couldnt do this and there was nowhere for him to sleep that night, so she suggested I put a blanket on the bed!!!!!!!!!
At this point the washing cycle finished, so I opened the washing machine door to discover that all the bedding still smelt of urine, the bed smelt of urine, OH smelt of urine - in fact the whole house smelt of urine and there didnt seem to be anything I could do. It felt like I had crashed into a brick wall and I basically broke. Fortunately, at that point my cleaner (who I get through Age UK) arrived and found me in a distrought state. She phoned through to the office and they called the GP.
After that everything is a bit hazy. The GP got OH re-admitted and someone contacted the children, who between them took control. They booked me in for 3 nights at a travel lodge and sorted out the house. They ditched the bed, mattress, duvet and pillows and bought new ones and cleaned the whole house, so there was no lingering smell of urine when I came back. They researched care homes and OH has gone into one for a months respite.
I have started anti-depressants and the children found me a counsellor. There have been so many people that I have had to talk to about me and also about OH. The antidepressants havent yet "kicked in" and Im finding night time particularly hard.
I have no idea what is going to happen in the future. The children want OH to move into residential care, but we wont be self-funded and I honestly cant see that happening. Im just taking it a day at a time.