My mother is 87 in September. My father died nearly two years ago.
Ever since my brother and I have visited her every week, I spend 10 hours with her on Tuesdays and my brother 5 hours on a Friday night after work. We have recently started using a care provider to visit her in between out visits for a couple of hours a day but that isn't really working (due to the carers needed to be led by the nose and told what to do!) Example I asked the carers to stay with her whilst she ate he dinner at lunchtime. They visited 10-12 and asked if she would like them to make her something to eat. Obviously at 11.30am it wasn't lunchtime so she refused.
Hiding things:
It all started in winter 2017 when Mum started "losing" hot water bottles. My brother was better at finding them than me (I just buy another new one) , inside the spin dryer, behind the guest wardrobe on the guest bed wardrobe etc etc. Anyway there are at least 14 hot water bottles somewhere in the house now.
However in December her Will went missing. This is was very serious, as I was concerned whether she would pass for writing and signing a new one. Anyhow, on the very day we were due to go to the solicitors to sign the new will, it turned up and was on the coffee table. I now have it. I also have the original of the new Will too. Point being, because fo the effort involved, I virtually tore the house apart spending 5 hours looking for the "missing" Will.
Now the hiding things has ramped up to a whole new level. She is locking the doors and hiding the keys ie locking herself in. Worse, she is telling the carer that he son has locked her in!
Last Saturday after our holiday I called her and went straight to her to let her out, and bought two sets of keys for her. Within a week both of these have "vanished". I live 90 miles away and my brother the same.
It didn't stop her neighbour dictating what I should be doing "she's your Mum not mine".
Anyway, I had already bought an external digital keybox. Now I will fit thumbturn cylinder to the back door and a Yale roller bolt lock to the front door, so both can be opened from inside without a key.
Another minor issue is, her two address books have going missing. Or as she claims "someone has taken them" It's never her. I do wonder if she has a secret hiding place (like loose floor boards or something that her and Dad used to hide their valuables. Perhaps full of paper tenners!
I suppose it is my fault for not thinking ahead, but she has definitely got much worse since the carers visits started four weeks ago.
Ever since my brother and I have visited her every week, I spend 10 hours with her on Tuesdays and my brother 5 hours on a Friday night after work. We have recently started using a care provider to visit her in between out visits for a couple of hours a day but that isn't really working (due to the carers needed to be led by the nose and told what to do!) Example I asked the carers to stay with her whilst she ate he dinner at lunchtime. They visited 10-12 and asked if she would like them to make her something to eat. Obviously at 11.30am it wasn't lunchtime so she refused.
Hiding things:
It all started in winter 2017 when Mum started "losing" hot water bottles. My brother was better at finding them than me (I just buy another new one) , inside the spin dryer, behind the guest wardrobe on the guest bed wardrobe etc etc. Anyway there are at least 14 hot water bottles somewhere in the house now.
However in December her Will went missing. This is was very serious, as I was concerned whether she would pass for writing and signing a new one. Anyhow, on the very day we were due to go to the solicitors to sign the new will, it turned up and was on the coffee table. I now have it. I also have the original of the new Will too. Point being, because fo the effort involved, I virtually tore the house apart spending 5 hours looking for the "missing" Will.
Now the hiding things has ramped up to a whole new level. She is locking the doors and hiding the keys ie locking herself in. Worse, she is telling the carer that he son has locked her in!
Last Saturday after our holiday I called her and went straight to her to let her out, and bought two sets of keys for her. Within a week both of these have "vanished". I live 90 miles away and my brother the same.
It didn't stop her neighbour dictating what I should be doing "she's your Mum not mine".
Anyway, I had already bought an external digital keybox. Now I will fit thumbturn cylinder to the back door and a Yale roller bolt lock to the front door, so both can be opened from inside without a key.
Another minor issue is, her two address books have going missing. Or as she claims "someone has taken them" It's never her. I do wonder if she has a secret hiding place (like loose floor boards or something that her and Dad used to hide their valuables. Perhaps full of paper tenners!
I suppose it is my fault for not thinking ahead, but she has definitely got much worse since the carers visits started four weeks ago.
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