My mother is hiding things

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by UpToMe, Jun 1, 2019.

  1. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    hello @Carysewilliams
    a warm welcome to DTP
    I wonder whether a paperless system is being used for your Nan's appointments ... might she give her permission in writing to her GP to allow a family member to also be informed of appointments, so someone else knows about them
    if letters are being sent, but put somewhere 'safe' by your nan, would she notice if a mailbox were installed outside her house, so a family member can have the key and intercept her post, checking it and then passing it on to her
  2. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    Yes we have an outside post box with a key, that is a very good solution to post going missing. It has worked very well for us
  3. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    I used to ask for a copy of my mother's medical appointments to be sent to me. I assume she had to give permission for this to the GP, and it was then on record for all other hospital appointments too - anyway they all seemed happy to do it.

    If anyone has LPA for your relative, they can get all the post redirected to their own home - I wish I'd done that earlier for my mother.
  4. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    Does your nan’s Doctors operate a reminder service by text? You could give them your mobile no. as her contact details. So at least you would know when the appointments are.

    My dad hated the Dr’s so any letters from them went straight in the bin or hidden. Getting a text reminder helped me a lot. He once got a letter from them, so he went in with the intention of telling them he didn’t need the appointment, it was for the flu jab. However as he couldn’t make himself understood he came out with two further appointments, one for a blood test and another to see the Dr. I only found out about this as I got the texts.
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Im sorry, but this made me laugh. I had so much trouble getting mum to make appointments.
  6. Whynot71

    Whynot71 New member

    Jun 10, 2019
    My MIL hides things often wrapped in tissue. She has taken to hiding tights and underwear in the toilet brush holder in her bathroom. I believe this is a normal behaviour of dementia. I make sure anything of danger, value or daily use is out of sight. I once found a lighter, a pair of scissors, 2 curtain rings and a cornetto wrapoer shaped into a tiny sharp triangle hidden in her tissue box.
  7. Champers

    Champers Registered User

    Jan 3, 2019
    My mother has a real mania about ‘tidying things away’ Even to the extent that when I’m visiting, I’ve wondered if I’m losing the plot too. I’ve put my own stuff down, paperwork, keys, phone...and it’s gone! I don’t even see her do it most of the time and when I’m at her house trying to sort admin out, it’s very frustrating. The items are usually squirrelled into a cupboard and when I find them, she tells me I must have put them there.

    We also have ‘a man’ that comes in during the night to put food in the fridge. He also hides her medication and letters under her bed apparently.

    She gets very upset about me trying to dispose of packing boxes, particularly the type that cosmetics and perfume come in. She’s insistent that she needs them.
  8. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    Someone's with my dad 99% of time now so most of the time we get to the post before he does. Plus the GP tends to send appointment details to myself or one of my siblings by text as they have our numbers down as next of kin.
  9. RosettaT

    RosettaT Registered User

    Sep 9, 2018
    Mid Lincs
    I had similar problems with mum hiding appointment letters, she would tell me she had one but couldnt remember when so I was always ringing up the hospital. In the end I changed her address to mine as they couldn't cope with 2 on the system. That then caused problems when she was discharged from hospital because they would only book transport to my house 20 miles from where she lived.
  10. Rob_E

    Rob_E Registered User

    Feb 1, 2015
    That's a good idea about the locked post box. That's another problem we have been having with not recieving post, including bills from the care agency that I pay on mum's behalf. I got round that problem by asking them to email me the bill but there is still other post that is going missing and she is sometimes opening post addressed to me and leaving it out for anyone to see.

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