Goodbye Mum

[Kikki21]

No offence intended,just an observation.I have dealt with the estates of both my parents and my FIL .It is doable but there are some things which take a bit of time.I'm not sure you can apply for probate until the house is sold as that will be a large part of the estate.The executor should place a notice in The London Gazette,that has to be in place for a month.If he's not prepared to step aside I'm not sure you have too many options.Similarly if he feels he needs to consult a solicitor to assist him.Try to put it to the back of your mind for now and concentrate on tomorrow.Best wishes.

Thank you. I have been advised that the house sale & probate can run concurrently so that is ok. The estate is well under inheritance tax purposes so no worries there. I will speak with the executor tomorrow & on Wednesday then we will hopefully do some work as regards the estate & with my help save a lot of money.

 

[Kikki21]

Probate formalises the distributions of assets.
Houses are commonly advertised by the beneficiary 'subject to probate'.

Thank you - yes the estate agents are aware that it is a probate sale but both were very positive that we can achieve the figure quoted especially as there is a bungalow for sale up the road for £20k more that is done up. So the figures stack up.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hope all goes as well as it can do tomorrow @Kikki21

 

[Kikki21]

Hope all goes as well as it can do tomorrow @Kikki21

Thank you so much.

 

[DianeW]

I will be thinking of you tomorrow x

 

[Kikki21]

I will be thinking of you tomorrow x

Thank you. I know it’s not going to be an easy day. I have got my outfit planned & feel ok about it. I wish my hair was different but can’t be helped now. I changed it not so long ago & never got round to changing it back but small matter.
I hope that wherever my mum is that she can see & feel the effort that we have put into tomorrow ( apart from the actual priest) x

 

[Marcelle123]

Thank you @Marcelle123 - I have typed up the eulogy & the order of service. They are all printed & ready. It feels really weird. The Coop
phoned to say that they have my mum
& all is ready for tomorrow & confirmed arrangements. After dinner, I will just check the clothes drying & finalise my clothing for tomorrow. Unfortunately I am having to rest up as my back has decided to spasm like crazy after being stood up for too long for 2 days over the weekend so I am bent over in pain.

Luckily my fiancé has been tidying up as we will have several people coming to our house tomorrow afternoon & travelling in the limousine so we needed a spruce up.

And yes I had 2 valuations done on the bungalow today & also took the opportunity to take framed photos of my mum for the wake tomorrow which I think will be a nice touch xx

Hope your back is feeling better this morning.

This is such an important day for you, @Kikki21 . Best wishes that it 'goes well', and also that it gives you some spiritual and emotional solace.

Best wishes also for all the 'business' you are having to do at this sad time.

Love,
Marcelle xx

 

[Kikki21]

Hope your back is feeling better this morning.

This is such an important day for you, @Kikki21 . Best wishes that it 'goes well', and also that it gives you some spiritual and emotional solace.

Best wishes also for all the 'business' you are having to do at this sad time.

Love,
Marcelle xx

Thank you so much @Marcelle123 for your good wishes & thoughts. I am lifted by the love & support of many people which is making things slightly easier to deal with.
I didn’t sleep too well last night & woke up to find my lovely puss cat Kikki asleep in the crook of my arm at one point, she reached out her paw to touch my face as if she knew I was sad. That cat is definitely an old soul.

Both my cats bought a lot of pleasure to my mum & I am just sorry that she didn’t see more of them over the last few years of her life but at least we showed her plenty of photos & videos.

My back is better thankfully,only had 1 spasm. Think I have worn my trainers too often & need different heel heights otherwise that is also bad for my back. Xx

 

[jugglingmum]

Hope all goes well today

 

[MissB]

Thank you so much @Marcelle123 for your good wishes & thoughts. I am lifted by the love & support of many people which is making things slightly easier to deal with.
I didn’t sleep too well last night & woke up to find my lovely puss cat Kikki asleep in the crook of my arm at one point, she reached out her paw to touch my face as if she knew I was sad. That cat is definitely an old soul.

Both my cats bought a lot of pleasure to my mum & I am just sorry that she didn’t see more of them over the last few years of her life but at least we showed her plenty of photos & videos.

My back is better thankfully,only had 1 spasm. Think I have worn my trainers too often & need different heel heights otherwise that is also bad for my back. Xx

Thinking of u

 

[Kikki21]

Hope all goes well today

Thank you - just waiting for family members to arrive now at our house.

 

[Kikki21]

Thinking of u

Thank you so much x

 

[Bunpoots]

Hope everything goes smoothly x

 

[Kikki21]

So we are both ready & now waiting for family members to come to our house. Cousin G will come in the limo with us & I would like cousin R to come in as they are both relatives on my mum’s side of the family so I feel it is important to recognise that. I’m ok at the moment. I am
burning one of my own peace & serenity candles in the lounge & I am glad that the sun is shining x

 

[Marcelle123]

Thanks for letting us know. Thinking of you. xx

 

[Kikki21]

So I am now sat at home & all is quiet which is quite nice as it is has been a busy day with lots of talking involved.
It was lovely to catch up with cousin R as she came with her brother who now lives in Manchester & he came with his eldest girl who is 12 & with cousin with her daughter who is 6 - they came to where I live first & the girls were greatly entertained by the cats. My cousin G came to the house too so it was good to have people round even though for such a sad occasion so we then waited for the arrival of the hearse & limo.
I had a look at the hearse with the flowers on top which were ours & from my half sisters. And it was great to go round to my mum’s estate next to where we live so she could go past her old bungalow once more & up the road where we used to walk to the post box before going on to the crematorium.
There were quite a number of people waiting already including some old friends of my mum’s & also including the lady she was more friendly with in her later years ( I had phoned her yesterday) plus family members, some of which were welcome & others not so.

We entered the chapel to music that wasn’t Ave Maria but was nice choral type music so I thought that it would start later but never did which was pretty disappointing.
The priest kind of did his own thing so the service ran for 10 minutes when he apparently nodded to start the closing music which was the Polish national anthem.... I kept saying to my fiancé that this was not right at all & the service was conducted in Polish!
We weren’t even sure that that was going to be the case as we didn’t know - thankfully the priest asked if any family wanted to speak - phew!
So my fiancé sang Amazing Grace which was absolutely beautiful & emotional & then I delivered the eulogy which many people said was lovely & fitting.
We then had the Polish National Anthem
played again. Oh well it couldn’t be helped I guess that the priest didn’t communicate with us so it made my order of service rather shambolic but anyway it kind of made it memorable too as well.

 

[Kikki21]

Outside the chapel, my cousin K was trying to make out she didn’t know there was a wake ( I sent her a message last week saying there was & I asked her how many people were coming from the family but clearly she hadn’t read it properly or didn’t read the entire message) and anyway if she wanted to know then why didn’t she text me or ring me then she was saying she wasn’t sure she was invited!
So we swiftly got that sorted out & people arrived at the hotel for the wake & the food & drink were very nice & there was more than enough to go round thankfully & we even got doggie bags of food to take home later.
I chatted to my bestest old friend as she came to support me for the whole day & it was lovely t see her so we stayed there till around 6.30pm ish. Funnily enough all my dad’s side of the family left pretty early whereas my mum’s side were all still chatting away. As wakes go, it was really nice & so that concludes the funeral day.

 

[Elle3]

Outside the chapel, my cousin K was trying to make out she didn’t know there was a wake ( I sent her a message last week saying there was & I asked her how many people were coming from the family but clearly she hadn’t read it properly or didn’t read the entire message) and anyway if she wanted to know then why didn’t she text me or ring me then she was saying she wasn’t sure she was invited!
So we swiftly got that sorted out & people arrived at the hotel for the wake & the food & drink were very nice & there was more than enough to go round thankfully & we even got doggie bags of food to take home later.
I chatted to my bestest old friend as she came to support me for the whole day & it was lovely t see her so we stayed there till around 6.30pm ish. Funnily enough all my dad’s side of the family left pretty early whereas my mum’s side were all still chatting away. As wakes go, it was really nice & so that concludes the funeral day.

I'm so pleased to hear the funeral and wake went well, apart from the lack of communication from the Priest over the order of things, kind of what you suspected would happen though. I'm also glad to hear that there was a good turn out which was good for you and your mum. Take care. Elle x

 

[Marcelle123]

Sorry that the Priest didn't ask you for or follow your wishes, but everything else sounds to have gone very well. You must feel very relieved, and yet oddly flat. I hope you get a good rest tonight, and can leave all thought of the legal headaches and paperwork for a while.

May your Mum rest in peace.

Thinking of you. Love & best wishes, Marcelle xx

 

[Kikki21]

I'm so pleased to hear the funeral and wake went well, apart from the lack of communication from the Priest over the order of things, kind of what you suspected would happen though. I'm also glad to hear that there was a good turn out which was good for you and your mum. Take care. Elle x

Yes you are right, we did suspect that the priest would do what he did but we had a service, we did our bits, we had a wake so I think we did alright. There were about 34 people at the chapel ( one of my friend’s counted!) & about 25 did come to the wake so we catered for the right amount. This is a very Polish thing to do, to worry about food & catering numbers so I have definitely inherited that from my mum x