So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Spamar, I hope you feel well enough to enjoy your day (((hugs))).
OH is still snoring beside me - do you think he would appreciate being woken by a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday'?
OH is still snoring beside me - do you think he would appreciate being woken by a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday'?
Hope you are well enough to enjoy your day. Happy birthday. I won't sing as the out of tune rendition might be too much. Xxxxx
Morning all,
Spamar, hope you felt better and that you were able to enjoy your day, hun xxxx
Happy belated birthday to your OH too, Slugsta xxx
I'm so sorry I haven't been around much - the usual (work!). I managed to take back 5 of the hours owed to me last week, and this week - although I have admin piled high - I am taking my 'rest day' (today). Had a 1-1 on Monday, and let fly. For once I was well prepared, and all the attempts to blame my time management or anything else that put the responsibility for the additional hours on my work practice were blown out of the water. Not that any solutions were offered - but at least I held my own.
I did have quite a few plans for today, but they have been blown out of the water by me spending a large chunk of last night at A&E with Mil. She is OK (we think!) and back at the home now, but it was a fairly horrific way to spend several hours, and for the first time in a long time I got a front row view of just how bad she can be and how hard it is when you are dealing with it for hours. Another confirmation that no way could we have kept her at home, I guess.
She complained of chest pains, and there was an agency nurse at the home who decided to take no chances and call the paramedics. Mil was not cooperative (big surprise) and they were unable to assess her at the home, so the nurse rang us, telling us that they wanted to send her to hospital - and could one of us meet her there, as Mils 1-1 finished at 8, and they were short staffed. OH to be fair, was more than willing to go - but he has work this morning, and I have the day off, so it made more sense for me to be with her.
Got to A&E, asked at the desk, told they had no record of her. Phoned the home - still there, but they were about to leave. 20 mins later, I asked again - nope,. she wasn't there yet - but they would let me know when she did arrive. 45 minutes later I asked again, to be told that she had just arrived and was in an ambulance in the bay, waiting to be admitted. Found the ambulance bay - 7 ambulances, not a clue which one Mil was in, checked with the 4 that had paramedics sitting in the front, but didn't feel I should knock on the doors of the others, as for all I knew there could be emergency treatment going on. After about 15 mins of me stood there (getting soaked and freezing) a paramedic wandered passed me and when I asked, he managed to track her down to one of the 3 ambulances. Sat in the back of it, 2 paramedics , a carer and Mil - and the carer told me that they had been there for over an hour, that the paramedics had been to A&E recepetion looking for me, and been told that none of Mils relatives had turned up! The carer then had to leave to get back to the home, and we sat in the ambulance for another 40 minutes, because there was no space in A&E.
Mil was being her usual 'fiesty self', loud, laughing like an hyena one minute, trying to cover me in kisses the next - and counting! Holding my hand in hers, and tapping or squeezing on the tips on my fingers, counting with no reason that i could fathom or she could explain, and every now and again suddenly trying to twist or bend one of my fingers back. In the end I had to refuse to let her hold my hand, as she was really hurting me, which set her off on some fairly aggressive language and behaviour. Finally admitted, still on the narrow ambulance trolley she was taken to a bay in A&E, a nurse came in and tried to check her - he managed sats, temp and bloood pressure - but then was forced to retreat, as she was really getting aggressive. One minute wanting to kiss me and telling me she loved me - very strangly she also asked me would I go out with her several times! And the next minute, leaning forward to scream in my face, or try to slap or punch me. And so loud! Her legs were doing the usual writhing and being flung about, and after about an hour, still no sign of a doctor, they wheeled in a wider bed, with side rails, as they were worried about her injuring herself in the narrow confines of the trolly. As they transfered her, they found out just how many swear words a 77 year old Irish lady knows! The langage didn't bother me - not her fault, not mine, she can't help it - but I did feel for the other patients who must have been well fed up with the racket she kept raising - not the best sound to contend with if you are feeling ill.
The wider bed was a mistake. The rails only went 2/3rds of the way down the sides, and with more room, she was able to move herself around, and constantly swung her legs through the space at the end of the rails and tried to stand. In the end, I had to sit on the edge of the bed, in the space, to stop her. Her response to that was to kick me repeatedly - and she can kick like a mule! She managed to boot me repeatedly in the arm, side, ribs and hip, and even got her leg high enough to deliver one kick into the side of my neck. Lots of swearing, lots of insults, lots of noise. Lots of hallucintions too - at one point she was begging me to 'get the fairies off my head', quite upset, and I spent a few minutes pretending to pick these fairies off her. She also got angry about 'that man holding my legs down', gesturing to the end of the trolley (this was before they put her in the bed), and I had to shout at this invisible (to me) man to leave!
Other than the obs when we first came in, and when they transferred her, no staff came near - the place was packed to the hilt, so all I could do was sit there and get kicked. Bless her, a lady waiting with an elderly gentleman, parked outside Mils cubical, was so distrubed by Mil's violence and the kicking I was getting, that she actually asked me if there was anything she could do to help? Before I could answer in the negative Mil told her that she could help - she could 'Tell this f&*%"^g Ugly Puss to F*&K off' (pointing at me as she screamed this).
I think it was going on for 1.30 a.m. before a Dr appeared, stood and looked at her (wise man wasn't going to get within striking distance of her), asked me had she complained of any more pain, and when I said no, he said that they obviously had no chance of getting bloods or a proper ECG, and as she could be monitored at the home, they would send her back. And that was it. Usual hanging around whilst arrangements were made, I did stand my ground and say no - I wasn't going to the home in the ambulance with her, as I would have no way to get back to the hospital to collect my car, but that I would follow them back and see her settled. She refused point blank to transfer to the trolley - a few of the staff narrowly missed the punches and slaps she was handing out, and one (after assuring me 'not to worry about it' when I tried to warn him) found out just how painful it is if you are soft enough to let her hold your hand and she manages to get a grip on one of your fingers. But eventually she was on the trolley and off to the ambulance, whilst I made the long trudge to the far end of the main car park, where I'd had to park, and headed for the home. Got her settled, and finally got home and to bed sometime around 2.30 - 3am. Too sore to sleep properly, so today is just going to be a short pootle tackling a couple of things I need to do, and then a day either back in bed or on the sofa. No brusing out yet, but there will be and I suspect I am going to be displaying some beauties before the end of today.
I'm not happy that she was sent to hospital - according to one carer when I got to the home, Mil had actually discribed these chest pains as being 'indigestion' - I understand the need to be better safe than sorry, but a nurse who knows Mil was there on her return and even she said she thought the agency staff had over-reacted. All that happened was that Mil had an incredibly stressful time, got herself very wound up and in the end, the hospital couldn't handle her and sent her back anyway. I'll phone the home in an hour or so, to see how she is, but I am pretty sure it was probably indigestion, or even perhaps just her habitual complaining that this or that hurts, which is then forgotten and denied 30 seconds later.
Right - the hoover and then bed are beckoning, so I'll send all my love and say 'night', to you all xxxxx I'll let you know if there are any repercusions or if she is ill, but I honestly think it was all just one of those things!
take care all xxx
Spamar, hope you felt better and that you were able to enjoy your day, hun xxxx
Happy belated birthday to your OH too, Slugsta xxx
I'm so sorry I haven't been around much - the usual (work!). I managed to take back 5 of the hours owed to me last week, and this week - although I have admin piled high - I am taking my 'rest day' (today). Had a 1-1 on Monday, and let fly. For once I was well prepared, and all the attempts to blame my time management or anything else that put the responsibility for the additional hours on my work practice were blown out of the water. Not that any solutions were offered - but at least I held my own.
I did have quite a few plans for today, but they have been blown out of the water by me spending a large chunk of last night at A&E with Mil. She is OK (we think!) and back at the home now, but it was a fairly horrific way to spend several hours, and for the first time in a long time I got a front row view of just how bad she can be and how hard it is when you are dealing with it for hours. Another confirmation that no way could we have kept her at home, I guess.
She complained of chest pains, and there was an agency nurse at the home who decided to take no chances and call the paramedics. Mil was not cooperative (big surprise) and they were unable to assess her at the home, so the nurse rang us, telling us that they wanted to send her to hospital - and could one of us meet her there, as Mils 1-1 finished at 8, and they were short staffed. OH to be fair, was more than willing to go - but he has work this morning, and I have the day off, so it made more sense for me to be with her.
Got to A&E, asked at the desk, told they had no record of her. Phoned the home - still there, but they were about to leave. 20 mins later, I asked again - nope,. she wasn't there yet - but they would let me know when she did arrive. 45 minutes later I asked again, to be told that she had just arrived and was in an ambulance in the bay, waiting to be admitted. Found the ambulance bay - 7 ambulances, not a clue which one Mil was in, checked with the 4 that had paramedics sitting in the front, but didn't feel I should knock on the doors of the others, as for all I knew there could be emergency treatment going on. After about 15 mins of me stood there (getting soaked and freezing) a paramedic wandered passed me and when I asked, he managed to track her down to one of the 3 ambulances. Sat in the back of it, 2 paramedics , a carer and Mil - and the carer told me that they had been there for over an hour, that the paramedics had been to A&E recepetion looking for me, and been told that none of Mils relatives had turned up! The carer then had to leave to get back to the home, and we sat in the ambulance for another 40 minutes, because there was no space in A&E.
Mil was being her usual 'fiesty self', loud, laughing like an hyena one minute, trying to cover me in kisses the next - and counting! Holding my hand in hers, and tapping or squeezing on the tips on my fingers, counting with no reason that i could fathom or she could explain, and every now and again suddenly trying to twist or bend one of my fingers back. In the end I had to refuse to let her hold my hand, as she was really hurting me, which set her off on some fairly aggressive language and behaviour. Finally admitted, still on the narrow ambulance trolley she was taken to a bay in A&E, a nurse came in and tried to check her - he managed sats, temp and bloood pressure - but then was forced to retreat, as she was really getting aggressive. One minute wanting to kiss me and telling me she loved me - very strangly she also asked me would I go out with her several times! And the next minute, leaning forward to scream in my face, or try to slap or punch me. And so loud! Her legs were doing the usual writhing and being flung about, and after about an hour, still no sign of a doctor, they wheeled in a wider bed, with side rails, as they were worried about her injuring herself in the narrow confines of the trolly. As they transfered her, they found out just how many swear words a 77 year old Irish lady knows! The langage didn't bother me - not her fault, not mine, she can't help it - but I did feel for the other patients who must have been well fed up with the racket she kept raising - not the best sound to contend with if you are feeling ill.
The wider bed was a mistake. The rails only went 2/3rds of the way down the sides, and with more room, she was able to move herself around, and constantly swung her legs through the space at the end of the rails and tried to stand. In the end, I had to sit on the edge of the bed, in the space, to stop her. Her response to that was to kick me repeatedly - and she can kick like a mule! She managed to boot me repeatedly in the arm, side, ribs and hip, and even got her leg high enough to deliver one kick into the side of my neck. Lots of swearing, lots of insults, lots of noise. Lots of hallucintions too - at one point she was begging me to 'get the fairies off my head', quite upset, and I spent a few minutes pretending to pick these fairies off her. She also got angry about 'that man holding my legs down', gesturing to the end of the trolley (this was before they put her in the bed), and I had to shout at this invisible (to me) man to leave!
Other than the obs when we first came in, and when they transferred her, no staff came near - the place was packed to the hilt, so all I could do was sit there and get kicked. Bless her, a lady waiting with an elderly gentleman, parked outside Mils cubical, was so distrubed by Mil's violence and the kicking I was getting, that she actually asked me if there was anything she could do to help? Before I could answer in the negative Mil told her that she could help - she could 'Tell this f&*%"^g Ugly Puss to F*&K off' (pointing at me as she screamed this).
I think it was going on for 1.30 a.m. before a Dr appeared, stood and looked at her (wise man wasn't going to get within striking distance of her), asked me had she complained of any more pain, and when I said no, he said that they obviously had no chance of getting bloods or a proper ECG, and as she could be monitored at the home, they would send her back. And that was it. Usual hanging around whilst arrangements were made, I did stand my ground and say no - I wasn't going to the home in the ambulance with her, as I would have no way to get back to the hospital to collect my car, but that I would follow them back and see her settled. She refused point blank to transfer to the trolley - a few of the staff narrowly missed the punches and slaps she was handing out, and one (after assuring me 'not to worry about it' when I tried to warn him) found out just how painful it is if you are soft enough to let her hold your hand and she manages to get a grip on one of your fingers. But eventually she was on the trolley and off to the ambulance, whilst I made the long trudge to the far end of the main car park, where I'd had to park, and headed for the home. Got her settled, and finally got home and to bed sometime around 2.30 - 3am. Too sore to sleep properly, so today is just going to be a short pootle tackling a couple of things I need to do, and then a day either back in bed or on the sofa. No brusing out yet, but there will be and I suspect I am going to be displaying some beauties before the end of today.
I'm not happy that she was sent to hospital - according to one carer when I got to the home, Mil had actually discribed these chest pains as being 'indigestion' - I understand the need to be better safe than sorry, but a nurse who knows Mil was there on her return and even she said she thought the agency staff had over-reacted. All that happened was that Mil had an incredibly stressful time, got herself very wound up and in the end, the hospital couldn't handle her and sent her back anyway. I'll phone the home in an hour or so, to see how she is, but I am pretty sure it was probably indigestion, or even perhaps just her habitual complaining that this or that hurts, which is then forgotten and denied 30 seconds later.
Right - the hoover and then bed are beckoning, so I'll send all my love and say 'night', to you all xxxxx I'll let you know if there are any repercusions or if she is ill, but I honestly think it was all just one of those things!
take care all xxx
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Oh Ann! I hope you don’t get many bruises! It all sounds an absolutely horrendous experience! You would have thought someone would have noticed all the disturbance she was making and fast tracked her through! Sounds as if many others would have been pleased as well!
Why didn’t the agency nurse consult with someone who knew mil before phoning the ambulance?
Must go, visitors!
Why didn’t the agency nurse consult with someone who knew mil before phoning the ambulance?
Must go, visitors!
So sorry to read of this 'assailt' Ann. Do you have any arnica cream or essential oil of lavender to ease the bruises? Maybe a warm bath with lavender which could also help you sleep.
Difficult with agency nurses - is there an obvious indication on MiLs care plan about criteria re hospital admission?
Take care, gentle hugs xx
Difficult with agency nurses - is there an obvious indication on MiLs care plan about criteria re hospital admission?
Take care, gentle hugs xx
What a kerfuffle.
When mum was in her care home in the last year of her life she kept being sent to A&E for a "funny turn". I suspect that she was having TIAs. They didnt do anything in A&E, just vaguely checked her over and sent her home - much like your MIL, Ann. Mum was compliant and didnt kick up a huge fess, but she did find it traumatic, so heaven knows what it was like for your MIL. I signed a form for the care home to say that i only wanted mum to go to hospital for broken bones - everything else was to be managed in her care home and I made sure that she had a DNR form in her records. Could you or your OH do something like that for your MIL to make sure you dont have a repeat performance?
When mum was in her care home in the last year of her life she kept being sent to A&E for a "funny turn". I suspect that she was having TIAs. They didnt do anything in A&E, just vaguely checked her over and sent her home - much like your MIL, Ann. Mum was compliant and didnt kick up a huge fess, but she did find it traumatic, so heaven knows what it was like for your MIL. I signed a form for the care home to say that i only wanted mum to go to hospital for broken bones - everything else was to be managed in her care home and I made sure that she had a DNR form in her records. Could you or your OH do something like that for your MIL to make sure you dont have a repeat performance?
is there any chance Canary you could send me a pm with a copy of the form you did with the care home so as not to be admitted except for possible broken bones please? I am desperate as she keeps being sent to A n E only to be sent home again. Many thanks if you could.
Sorry to barge in on your thread Ann- really feel for you re the A n E visit- it takes so long to recover from the stress oneself
Sorry to barge in on your thread Ann- really feel for you re the A n E visit- it takes so long to recover from the stress oneself
@Ann Mac I'm so sorry, what a performance and how stressful for all concerned
I echo others' ideas about putting something obvious in MIL's care plan....al though it seems likely the home would already have this in place.
I have signed a form saying that I would only want mum admitted to hospital if necessary for pain management (ie broken bones). She also has a DNAR on file. However, the efficacy of these forms has yet to be tested...
Hope you feel rested and recovered soon.
Lindy xx
I echo others' ideas about putting something obvious in MIL's care plan....al though it seems likely the home would already have this in place.
I have signed a form saying that I would only want mum admitted to hospital if necessary for pain management (ie broken bones). She also has a DNAR on file. However, the efficacy of these forms has yet to be tested...
Hope you feel rested and recovered soon.
Lindy xx
If you have a health and welfare LPA then insist on your wishes being respected as long as it’s not against her best interests.
Request a Best Interest Meeting and involve the views of the GP to all agree on a Non Escalation Care Plan except for clear treatment for injuries as mentioned above by Lindy50.
The distress of an A&E visit for limited benefit is often too much.
Request a Best Interest Meeting and involve the views of the GP to all agree on a Non Escalation Care Plan except for clear treatment for injuries as mentioned above by Lindy50.
The distress of an A&E visit for limited benefit is often too much.
Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry. What an awful experience.
I hop you got some rest yesterday and last night.
I hop you got some rest yesterday and last night.
Afternoon all,
Ann, what an absolute nightmare! I really hope you are able to manage your pain today (((hugs))).
I do agree that some sort of written care plan might help to stop this kind of thing from happening again
Ann, what an absolute nightmare! I really hope you are able to manage your pain today (((hugs))).
I do agree that some sort of written care plan might help to stop this kind of thing from happening again
