Morning everyone,
@2jays, you sound like you are meeting yourself coming backwards, everything is so hectic for you at the moment - I'm so sorry things are so tough, for you and the grandkids
I can imagine how hard it is for you to see them in the middle of whatever is going on, and how stressful and worrying it must be for you. Add in the trying to get decorating and DIY jobs sorted, and I'm another who would seriously consider reaching for 2 large drinks at least (in my case, brandy!). Sending you massive {{{{{{hugs}}}}} xxxxx
School shopping, JM - even thinking of that makes me shudder - with misery at the memory, and with relief that it's no longer on my 'to do' lists. All mine shot up, usually in the last week of the school hols, of course , meaning it had to be the last minute dash to make sure they were kitted out in a uniform that actually fit them. I remember one Summer hols when son went up from a size 4 to a size 6 in shoes over the 6 week break! And trying to get school trousers that would actually fit my very tall, but very slim, youngest dau. Nightmare - you have all my sympthy!
Slugsta, not long till you go now - I bet you can't wait
Spamar - hope you are OK and feeling better, hun xxxx
Red, a shedding dog is enough for me to cope with - couldn't deal with a shedding rug as well
x
1-1 case review yesterday, and I need to get two things off my chest before I start!
Firstly - Dr J is my hero!
Secondly - the HBM is a two face, conniving, hypocritical, lying, nasty $%^&%$£ and I just can't wait for Karma to catch up with her!
I arrived early, so I could spend some time with Mil - found her and a small group of other residents, having a tea party in the sensory room. Mil was packing away kit kats like they were going out of fashion, and veering between laughing manically - getting very nasty with anyone who tried to persuade her to share the plate of kit kats! And the HBM was there - all over Mil, and the other residents - like she actually cared.
During the 10 minutes or so I spent with Mil (before I was invited through to the meeting room), a member of staff who came into the room, and returned Mil's smile and 'hello' with an 'Hello lovely' back to her, was suddenly screamed qat to '%%%% off', and Mil, having stretched out her hand (with a big smile) to me, proceded to dig her nails in when I took her hand. So - all 'normal' in the world of Mil, and you would have thought a very visable display of just how unpredictable she can be.
We got to the meeting room, and once Dr J arrived, the meeting got underway. I was staggered when HBM suggested that we bring Mil in! For Gods sake - like poor Mil would have a clue - it would just upset her. Dr J started as she clearly felt she needed to go on, and pointed out that the suggestion, given how severe Mils dementia is, was 'totally innapropriate'. Dr J then invited HBM to explain the 'purpose' of having yet another meeting, so soon after all the previous ones? HBM proceded to produce a series of charts that she had made, based on the 1-1 notes kept by the staff . She claimed it showed that there was a decrease in incidents with Mil. Dr J just looked at her as if she was puddled (that woman is brilliant!). Firstly, she pointed out that there was no measurable 'base line' in place, that it didn't take into account Mil's normal presentation, which is difficult and challenging continuosly - something the staff are familiar with and which they wouldn't see the need to document. That the 'chart' didn't take into account interventions that prevented incidents becoming 'severe'. And lastly, Dr J said that the whole point of the 1-1 was to prevent incidents becoming severe, so actually, all the chart did was demonstrate that the 1-1 support was managing a need that had been identified and confirmed repeatedly by herself, a social worker and the staff who support her daily - that the chart demonstrated that the current level of care was working, and therefore appropriate.
Score 1 for Dr J !
HBM bumphed and blustered a bit, and DR J was clearly losing patience with her. She cut to the chase and bluntly asked the HBM what she hoped to get out of this meeting, what was her aim where Mil was concerned?
HBM said her first aim was to keep Mil safe. Again THAT look from Dr J, followed by her pointing out (as if speaking to a child) that the 1-1 was 'keeping Mil safe'.
HBM then added that she didn't want Mil isolated - and that the 1-1 was making her isolated. Have you every heard anything,
anything, so stupid in your life? The staff and Dr J pointed out that Mil wasn't isolated, that as was evident from the notes, she spent a lot of time in the lounge area, with others. HBM then said that the lounge wasn't a good place for Mil - that most incidents occured in the lounge. At which point I asked her to make up her mind. She was saying that she didn't think Mil should be in the lounge as much as she was, and at the same time complaining that Mil was isolated? So which was it? She wasn't making sense.
Believe it or not, the HBM brought up medication, basically asking was Mil on anything to 'calm her down', and suggesting it be looked at to see if anything would help. Clearly she hadn't read the realms of notes about the adverse effets of meds, and how the home and Dr J had been working to reduce them to try and prevent a worsening of the tarive dyskinesia. Dr J again put her straight - and at this point, it was becoming clearer and clearer that Dr J was fast losing patience with the HBM. She asked how often HBM was reviewing Mils 1-1 support, and was told 'weekly'. Dr J then told her that if she wanted to 'waste her time' in that manner, then it was up to her, but that she was stating that Mils behaviour and needs were not going to change from one week to the next. HBM said that all one to ones were looked at on a weekly basis - Dr J asked how many residents on the home were on 1-1, and was told that only 2 residents, including Mil, received that support.
The home's manager then confirmed that out of the two, only Mil was having these weekly 1-1 reviews carried out.
Dr J looked thoroughly disgusted - she asked why, when the 1-1 was so clearly needed, when it was working to keep Mil safe, was it being reviewed so often?. That it was a pointless exercise and that it clearly wasn't for Mil's benefit that these reviews were taking place. She repeated that if HBM wanted to waste her time like that, then fine, the HBM could do that if she wished - however, she was to take note and remember that Dr J in her report had clearly stated that Mil's care must not be removed without the full consensus and agreement of all those involved in the multi-disciplinary panel. That removing it would put Mil at risk - and that it wasn't to happen.
I had grown more and more disgusted at HBM whilst this was going on. She had tied herself in knots and in doing so, had made it obvious that the whole purpose of this meeting was for her to try and reduce or stop Mil's support - but she had failed to prove a justifiable reason for doing this. So I jumped in - and I didn't even raise my voice. I just said that the HBM needed to understand that I wasn't fighting for Mil to keep the 1-1 simply to score points - that I was fighting for it because Dr J and the staff who know her best have advised me that it's essential. That if they ever told me it was no longer necessary, then I would agree to it being withdrawn without a fight. But that if she, or anyone from the CHC removed that care before either the home or Dr J agreed that it was the right time to do so, then I would be more than willing to scream from the roof tops about it, to the public and press, that I had photographs and videos and documents that I would share. And I would do this because Mil has had an horrendous journey that has been made far more difficult and heartbreaking because the Health board had let her down and failed her on countless occasions. That at this point, when its clear that she is failing physically and obviously getting closer to the end of her life, I was no longer prepared to allow them to cause her more issues. That she should know that if she put Mil and me in that position, that I was more than willing to fight dirty if I had to - because its quite simply reached the stage where enough is enough.
