This is what this forum is for! Letting off steam in a non judgmental environment. Caring is tough and, in my experience, it's the little things that make you scream!
You are not a bad person. Many people on this forum, in my opinion, are saints. I am most definitely not! I know I wouldn't be able to look after mum, if she lived with me, so I have made peace with my decision to keep her in her own home for as long as possible and, should the day come, find her the best home possible.
You have the additional burden of a job you hate and having been ill, with a serious condition.
The bottom line is, you need to arrange the care dad NEEDS not what he wants.
Have you had an assessment from Social Services? Is dad getting all the help he is entitled to?
Come here and let off steam as often as you like. There is always someone listening xxx