Ok. I have been reluctant to put this on here as I am concerned other people involved may see it - but I am so desperate I'm "risking it."
My mum has vascular dementia. Her symptoms have got a lot worse over the last few months. Things go missing, appear is strange places, she has started to wander, leaving the front door open, aggressive to carers. She can't follow or continue a conversation and often doesn't know who I am.
Then last week I found out that large amounts of cash have been taken from her bank account by my sister. I reported it to Social Services who are investigating it as Financial Abuse. But their communication is not great to say the least. In fact the first question I was asked when I reported it was, "Have you fallen out with your sister. Is that why you are saying this?" I found that quite insulting, to put it mildly. There had been no fall out but I'd found some bank statements that had shown withdrawls of large amounts of cash. Then I found that mum's other account had been totally cleared out on things like £100+ at HMV. My sister doesn't deny it but says my mum said she could take the money. I rang the bank and the use of the card has been frozen.
Problem no 2 is my mum's deterioration. I am due to go on holiday at Christmas. The plan was my sister be there for mum. Following last week, my sister has said she won't have anything to do with my mum. So now I am trying to find some kind of respite care for my mum over Christmas so I know she is safe. But I can't access the money in my mum's bank account that still has some money in it to pay for respite care. I have my own money struggles so can't afford to pay for it myself. I am applying for deputyship but it takes longer to process than I have. I am also increasingly concerned that my mum may not even make it to Christmas before she needs to be in Care. I went last night and she was scared of the curtains in the house. She literally doesn't know which way is up. She told the Dr on Friday it's 1984. I am so worried for her. I've told Social Services my worries about Christmas. If we had access to the money, we could afford for respite care for Christmas or even now. Is there any way that Social Services make loans until the Deputyship is sorted? I ring and ask them but just get fobbed off. It would be easier if I had someone to help me - but due to recent events it's just me.
And my last problem is, how do you get someone who doesn't want to go into a Residential Home go into one? My mum wants to stay in her house and I want her to stay there. But I am SO worried about her. She has Carers 4 times a day but even they say she needs to have more support. I work six days week and am self employed so can't do anymore.
If anyone has any advice I would REALLY appreciate it. As you may hear from what I've written, I am at my wits end.
Thank you. All the support I've had on here has been amazing. So thank you all
My mum has vascular dementia. Her symptoms have got a lot worse over the last few months. Things go missing, appear is strange places, she has started to wander, leaving the front door open, aggressive to carers. She can't follow or continue a conversation and often doesn't know who I am.
Then last week I found out that large amounts of cash have been taken from her bank account by my sister. I reported it to Social Services who are investigating it as Financial Abuse. But their communication is not great to say the least. In fact the first question I was asked when I reported it was, "Have you fallen out with your sister. Is that why you are saying this?" I found that quite insulting, to put it mildly. There had been no fall out but I'd found some bank statements that had shown withdrawls of large amounts of cash. Then I found that mum's other account had been totally cleared out on things like £100+ at HMV. My sister doesn't deny it but says my mum said she could take the money. I rang the bank and the use of the card has been frozen.
Problem no 2 is my mum's deterioration. I am due to go on holiday at Christmas. The plan was my sister be there for mum. Following last week, my sister has said she won't have anything to do with my mum. So now I am trying to find some kind of respite care for my mum over Christmas so I know she is safe. But I can't access the money in my mum's bank account that still has some money in it to pay for respite care. I have my own money struggles so can't afford to pay for it myself. I am applying for deputyship but it takes longer to process than I have. I am also increasingly concerned that my mum may not even make it to Christmas before she needs to be in Care. I went last night and she was scared of the curtains in the house. She literally doesn't know which way is up. She told the Dr on Friday it's 1984. I am so worried for her. I've told Social Services my worries about Christmas. If we had access to the money, we could afford for respite care for Christmas or even now. Is there any way that Social Services make loans until the Deputyship is sorted? I ring and ask them but just get fobbed off. It would be easier if I had someone to help me - but due to recent events it's just me.
And my last problem is, how do you get someone who doesn't want to go into a Residential Home go into one? My mum wants to stay in her house and I want her to stay there. But I am SO worried about her. She has Carers 4 times a day but even they say she needs to have more support. I work six days week and am self employed so can't do anymore.
If anyone has any advice I would REALLY appreciate it. As you may hear from what I've written, I am at my wits end.
Thank you. All the support I've had on here has been amazing. So thank you all
