I don't know how to use this post thing right, I sent a message before but I don't know if I posted it right, this disease is soul destroying, and the suffering they go through for years is horrible and heartbreaking, mum mum has been like this for years, slowly loosing herb it by bit, I always took her to mine, the she forgot how to get into a car, how to walk,how to talk, then forgetting us, my mum was mysoul mate,my best friend, the doctor said it will be over soon, but it is as if I'm starving her to death, he said no drip for her, you just want them back, carer has been trying to give her stuff, not swallowing properly, so have I ,I would feel so guilty watching her with nothing while I'm eating, I've lost a lot of weight through been emotionally ill thru this and my daughters behaviour not visiting her for a year, any sad music or any place we went, seeing old women with their daughters cuts me up terrible, how can you get over a loss like this, cope, can any one help, I'm an only child and this means no one to share this with,my youngest daughter says she is suffering. And it's better for her, I'm being selfish wanting her but it's destroying as well.....never thought ide ever be so bad about it
New member - Lovely day
- Thread starter Lovely day
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Hi lovely day,
Just read your post and really can relate to you. I am an only child and it has been me and Mum from a child as she got divorced when I was small. We have gone through everything together and like you soul mates. Mum is 86 and still lives with me but 24/7 is taking its toll on my health too.
I am not saying it is any worst for us because we are only children to anyone else but it would be nice to be able to fall back on a sibling (not saying all siblings are there to help as I no that isn't the case by reading posts on here). Just to reassure you that your not on your own and keep posting and talking on here it really helps me get through the bad days. Lots of love sent to you xxx
Just read your post and really can relate to you. I am an only child and it has been me and Mum from a child as she got divorced when I was small. We have gone through everything together and like you soul mates. Mum is 86 and still lives with me but 24/7 is taking its toll on my health too.
I am not saying it is any worst for us because we are only children to anyone else but it would be nice to be able to fall back on a sibling (not saying all siblings are there to help as I no that isn't the case by reading posts on here). Just to reassure you that your not on your own and keep posting and talking on here it really helps me get through the bad days. Lots of love sent to you xxx
Hello lovely day - it sounds like your mum is in the final stages.
Im glad the carer is continuing to try and offer her food, but please dont worry that she is starving to death. In the end stages the body is closing down and it cant process food. She will not be feeling hunger.
Have the doctors organised pain relief for when it is necessary?
Make sure you look after yourself in these days and we will hold your virtual hand
xx
Im glad the carer is continuing to try and offer her food, but please dont worry that she is starving to death. In the end stages the body is closing down and it cant process food. She will not be feeling hunger.
Have the doctors organised pain relief for when it is necessary?
Make sure you look after yourself in these days and we will hold your virtual hand
xx
Mum not taking anything really now, couple of swallows, other lady died and I saw un
Mum not taking much now, I'm floored and faint this morning but can't leave her by her self as she's awake, an alzheimers floor is terrible, when I'm there I here screaming and I was told that the old folk are all throwing up, some bug being an only child is really coming to the fore now, only me visiting her, that's the way it's been for years. I don't know what to do. Feel panicky a lot and very tired but I can't not be there and there's people there. Thank you for the replies
Mum not taking much now, I'm floored and faint this morning but can't leave her by her self as she's awake, an alzheimers floor is terrible, when I'm there I here screaming and I was told that the old folk are all throwing up, some bug being an only child is really coming to the fore now, only me visiting her, that's the way it's been for years. I don't know what to do. Feel panicky a lot and very tired but I can't not be there and there's people there. Thank you for the replies
Jorge porgies was a nickname my mum had, she was called Georgie when young, I am stil
I find it hard as my daughters seem very indifferent to the whole thing, she was a good nana and don't take on all that she did, they are cold hearted in what they say about her sometimes, I'm protective of the memories we all had, loads of pictures, we were her life. This has been the worst thing ever in my life what a cruel disease, robbing them of everything that was them,I admire you Jorge porgies for taking care of mum yourself, I'm guilty of putting my mum in a home and I hate myself for it,she couldn't stay on her own,she put electric kettle on gas and was stopping cars for a lift. Ide take her to my house a lot, then she forgot how to get into a car, then the walking then not knowing you, she used to open window in home and shout out I love you Gina e era time I left and I cried my heart out, I want to do something for Alzheimer's, work for them, anything, want to fight back at this disease...but don't know what or how
I find it hard as my daughters seem very indifferent to the whole thing, she was a good nana and don't take on all that she did, they are cold hearted in what they say about her sometimes, I'm protective of the memories we all had, loads of pictures, we were her life. This has been the worst thing ever in my life what a cruel disease, robbing them of everything that was them,I admire you Jorge porgies for taking care of mum yourself, I'm guilty of putting my mum in a home and I hate myself for it,she couldn't stay on her own,she put electric kettle on gas and was stopping cars for a lift. Ide take her to my house a lot, then she forgot how to get into a car, then the walking then not knowing you, she used to open window in home and shout out I love you Gina e era time I left and I cried my heart out, I want to do something for Alzheimer's, work for them, anything, want to fight back at this disease...but don't know what or how
Please dont feel guilty, as you say she couldnt stay on her own. My mum is in a care home now and for exactly the same reason - she was living on her own and it wasnt safe for her. Sometimes moving someone into a care home is the best thing for them, and it sounds like this is the case for your mum too.
BTW, Im not an only child, but I might as well be. My brother never visits (even when I phoned up and told him that mum was having a health crisis) and although my children love their grandma they are having problems of their own and cant do much. Consequently, everything falls to me. Its hard isnt it?
feel the same
Hi lovely day, Hi just read your piece , I am now an only child since my brothers sudden death 4 years ago, but it always been the same with mum and I, she was my best friend , we have always been close and now, she has almost disappeared , and at least once a day dosen't know who I am.it hurts but she took care of me and now it my turn to take care of her
Hi Lovely day.
Thank you for your kind words, but Honestly do not feel guilty having had to put your Mum in care. My Mum isn't as far advanced as yours at the present but I do not rule out at some point in this long journey that I may have to do the same. The thought. of giving up our nearest and dearest is heart breaking for us all. I am sure our Mum's would not want us to go through the pain we are going through watching them fade away. All that I can say to make you feel a bit better is that we should be thankful we have had them to this ripe old age and I don't know how long your Mum started with this hateful disease, I suppose I am lucky as I only started losing my Mum around two years ago. I have lots of wonderful memories and wouldn't changed her for the world. Keep strong always here for you. xxxx
P.S Jorgie porgie is my grandsons nick name.
Thank you for your kind words, but Honestly do not feel guilty having had to put your Mum in care. My Mum isn't as far advanced as yours at the present but I do not rule out at some point in this long journey that I may have to do the same. The thought. of giving up our nearest and dearest is heart breaking for us all. I am sure our Mum's would not want us to go through the pain we are going through watching them fade away. All that I can say to make you feel a bit better is that we should be thankful we have had them to this ripe old age and I don't know how long your Mum started with this hateful disease, I suppose I am lucky as I only started losing my Mum around two years ago. I have lots of wonderful memories and wouldn't changed her for the world. Keep strong always here for you. xxxx
P.S Jorgie porgie is my grandsons nick name.
It is very hard to read what you've written, Lovely Day--but please try not to feel guilty or upset with your children. I care for my mom at home, and if I had the option, i would put her in a facility. As hard as it is for you to see your Mom the way she is, it can be utterly draining and soul-sucking to have to live with it.
My real Mom died a long time ago. This person I live with now is someone else. This is a cruel and heartless disease that kills someone's body slowly, but kills their mind quickly. My children were able to realize that more easily than I was, thus they seem to handle it better. They know their Grandma is gone already.
I hope you can find some help for your feelings. I have only been browsing this forum for one day, but already can tell there are many kind and helpful people ehre.
My real Mom died a long time ago. This person I live with now is someone else. This is a cruel and heartless disease that kills someone's body slowly, but kills their mind quickly. My children were able to realize that more easily than I was, thus they seem to handle it better. They know their Grandma is gone already.
I hope you can find some help for your feelings. I have only been browsing this forum for one day, but already can tell there are many kind and helpful people ehre.
Lovely day
Can't go on, mammy nearly gone,panic, panic I can't goth rough with it, maybe last day, lost dad year and a half ago, too much , can't go on want to go with her I need her, breakdown coming, I'm loosing my marbles, only child, no hugs and kisses, I hate this,
Can't go on, mammy nearly gone,panic, panic I can't goth rough with it, maybe last day, lost dad year and a half ago, too much , can't go on want to go with her I need her, breakdown coming, I'm loosing my marbles, only child, no hugs and kisses, I hate this,
Oh Lovely Day I feel for you.
Try to breathe and take baby steps today. Don't look at what if's and what's going to happen next. Try to be in the moment. The whole thing is just too big to contemplate.
Sending you strength to help you through and love and hugs, albeit virtual ones, to wrap around your heart.
You have come to the most amazing place, you are never alone here. xxx
Try to breathe and take baby steps today. Don't look at what if's and what's going to happen next. Try to be in the moment. The whole thing is just too big to contemplate.
Sending you strength to help you through and love and hugs, albeit virtual ones, to wrap around your heart.
You have come to the most amazing place, you are never alone here. xxx
Sweetie take some deep breaths.
Contact the dementia helpline to talk to someone.
If you have concerns about Alzheimer's disease or any other form of dementia, Alzheimer's Society National Dementia Helpline can provide information, support and guidance.
You can contact our helpline by calling 0300 222 1122 or by email at helpline@alzheimers.org.uk.
The helpline is usually open from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and from 10am - 4pm at weekends. However, the service may be closed occasionally during these times for operational reasons.
Have you seen your GP? If not please make an appointment ASAP
This is the link to the Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
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Please get some help. Will you phone the Samaritans . They will talk to you and help you and are available now.
116 123 (UK) This is the phone number.
Please get help. You sound as though you need it very badly. Sending a big virtual hug. Sorry it's not real.
I do hope you are feeling a little better now. This last, final vigil is hard, but it will be over soon. Try not to think too far ahead and only do what is needed now
((((hugs))))))
((((hugs))))))
Lovely day
Mum passed just before 11am this morning, sent out emergency texts and my cuss was there in a flash, she help mums hand and mine and my little dog Jewel climbed up and seemed to pat the covers my cousin said, they reallytake in your emotions, I now feel a little bit of release, I don't know if this is temp or not, if it will come and go, a dementia ward is a terrible place, I could hear screaming from one resident, 59 yrs old every day, and a women kept coming in to the room panicking, the fear they must feel must be horrifying, seeing people acting crazy, hitting out screaming, shouting, it was a horrific environment for mum. Daughter still indifferent, an elder said that I was a good mum giving of my best and that nana was crazy for years, she had Alzheimer's,but when I looked thru photos and saw and remembered and cd's of videos I had copied all I saw was love and devotion and I told her that, she wouldn't look at the pictures and after a while left, mum secured the roof ver her head with her savings, this is just one thing she did. Listening to the dear elder and looking at the videos, photos and remembering, my mum and I were good to them in every since, the elder was there within a couple of hours and spoke to us " my cousin and I" and said a prayer and had spoken to someone to do the service for mum xxx it's surprising how you can be made to doubts how you and your mum were by folk who should know better, the devotion in mums eyes in the picture tells it all x x x this site has been so good and positive for me
Mum passed just before 11am this morning, sent out emergency texts and my cuss was there in a flash, she help mums hand and mine and my little dog Jewel climbed up and seemed to pat the covers my cousin said, they reallytake in your emotions, I now feel a little bit of release, I don't know if this is temp or not, if it will come and go, a dementia ward is a terrible place, I could hear screaming from one resident, 59 yrs old every day, and a women kept coming in to the room panicking, the fear they must feel must be horrifying, seeing people acting crazy, hitting out screaming, shouting, it was a horrific environment for mum. Daughter still indifferent, an elder said that I was a good mum giving of my best and that nana was crazy for years, she had Alzheimer's,but when I looked thru photos and saw and remembered and cd's of videos I had copied all I saw was love and devotion and I told her that, she wouldn't look at the pictures and after a while left, mum secured the roof ver her head with her savings, this is just one thing she did. Listening to the dear elder and looking at the videos, photos and remembering, my mum and I were good to them in every since, the elder was there within a couple of hours and spoke to us " my cousin and I" and said a prayer and had spoken to someone to do the service for mum xxx it's surprising how you can be made to doubts how you and your mum were by folk who should know better, the devotion in mums eyes in the picture tells it all x x x this site has been so good and positive for me
Lovely day
Thank you , I made a mistake in post, it was my daughter who said nana was crazy, not the elder, my thinking was way ahead of my writing, will checks posts before sending them from now on x
Thank you , I made a mistake in post, it was my daughter who said nana was crazy, not the elder, my thinking was way ahead of my writing, will checks posts before sending them from now on x
