Hi Mojo1943
Never ever give up hope and never stop trying - that is important.
In reality
VaD can be 'treated' and its effects reduced by diet and a systematic system of mental recall of present and past events
hasn't been effective in either of the two people I have known.
Both have/had really good diets, but attempts to retrain memory or re-learn stuff never worked.
I think that's because the brain is not an entity unto itself. It connects to the rest of the body in many, many different ways. It seems to me it is often these linkages that are broken by the dementia. For instance, my late wife's eyes were organically perfect, but her vascular dementia killed the link that enabled her to interpret what her eyes could see, and latterly, even to control their direction.
The 91 year old lady I am helping at present (whee - she is 92 tomorrow and we got her home for a party) has no problem, as one might expect with long term memory, but has a 15 minute retention, at best, of the present.
It isn't the memory that has been her problem, primarily. It is her agitation and aggression. I have yet to find a way, other than by patiently waiting for the sundowning to abate, to help her with this. Other than the Risperidone, which has stopped the physical aggression, and that is what has permitted us to discharge her from a Section 3 in an assessment ward where she was for 6 months.
Happy Birthday E - we're still fighting for you.
Best of luck, mojo1943, and everyone else.