I live outside of my family home as I moved in with my boyfriend and so I live an hour and a half away. My 2 sisters and brother (who are a similar age of 29 and 30) live at home with my mother (who has dementia) and my father (who is elderly but very active). I recently had a large falling out with one of my sisters, who primarily cares for my mother as she is the one to also work from home (although she is looking for this to change). Ultimately she feels the balance is unfair as I can go about my day to day life with relative ease, whilst she cannot. I do agree with her and often feel guilty about this myself. However I feel a bit stuck as this is largely circumstantial. This is what has prompted me to get in touch as I do try to visit as often as I can and whilst I hope to make this more frequent, I was wondering what I could do to be more help from afar / to relieve my sister's circumstances? I try to help with paperwork, phone calls to my mum (although it is very hard for her to answer the phone and hold a conversation now) and food shops from afar but I wondered if there is more that I can do?
I have looked into respite care and groups that perhaps my mum could go to (although there aren't a great deal in her local area) however I am not sure these necessarily resolve the issue. Whilst my mum is still aware of who we are (just about) and is still mobile, she still gets very anxious when left alone and isn't able to make her own lunch or go to the toilet by herself. Therefore it is quite hard for my sister to return to work full time as my Mum needs someone with her. Is there anything that can help with this? The alternative seems like a care home, which I know my mum would be very unhappy with and doesn't really require from a medical perspective.
Most recently we have reached out to adult social services to get support with showering and dressing. This relieves some of the stress from my sister but ultimately doesnt help for the majority of the day when my mum is sat aggitated and bored downstairs, whilst my sister has to work upstairs. As 30 somethings trying to build a future for ourselves, the cost of caring simply isn't enough to enable any of us to leave our jobs and to care full time.
It would be great to hear from anyone of a similar age / who has gone through a similar situation and any advice they could give.
Thanks
I have looked into respite care and groups that perhaps my mum could go to (although there aren't a great deal in her local area) however I am not sure these necessarily resolve the issue. Whilst my mum is still aware of who we are (just about) and is still mobile, she still gets very anxious when left alone and isn't able to make her own lunch or go to the toilet by herself. Therefore it is quite hard for my sister to return to work full time as my Mum needs someone with her. Is there anything that can help with this? The alternative seems like a care home, which I know my mum would be very unhappy with and doesn't really require from a medical perspective.
Most recently we have reached out to adult social services to get support with showering and dressing. This relieves some of the stress from my sister but ultimately doesnt help for the majority of the day when my mum is sat aggitated and bored downstairs, whilst my sister has to work upstairs. As 30 somethings trying to build a future for ourselves, the cost of caring simply isn't enough to enable any of us to leave our jobs and to care full time.
It would be great to hear from anyone of a similar age / who has gone through a similar situation and any advice they could give.
Thanks