I know the feeling of loneliness will have been discussed before, so forgive me if I should just go and consult those earlier posts, but I'd like to start afresh.
It's not quite 3 months since MH was placed into care. Before the dementia, we had a close relationship so with us now being apart I just feel so bereft, torn apart and lonely. I have no family close by and only casual acquaintances who are not into phoning me or dropping in. Perhaps it's just a time thing, but I miss him terribly. Even when he was here with his dementia, he was still company. I still can't believe how rapidly he went downhill, from being almost normal 18 months ago, to now being in care. When my arm was in plaster, I was only able to visit once a week and once I was out of plaster and was able to drive myself once again, I've visited him more frequently. However, talking to the RN yesterday, I commented that MH hadn't eaten much of his midday meal while I was there. Her reply was that when I'm not there, he cleans his plate up and that I was a distraction to him. I think she meant that kindly, but I've now decided to only visit once a week. He recognises me, but it's clear he doesn't think about or ask about me when I'm not there, he's settled, so perhaps it would be better for both of us if I only went once a week. It is a long drive and to be honest, I'm feeling pretty tired today after travelling twice this week. The home is a 90 minute drive from here and then there is the return trip.
I know he is in the best place and has improved in many ways since being there, so why can't I just accept the status quo and get on with life?
I feel so stupid posting this, but what else can I do on a lonely Saturday night as I sit here crying my eyes out?
It's not quite 3 months since MH was placed into care. Before the dementia, we had a close relationship so with us now being apart I just feel so bereft, torn apart and lonely. I have no family close by and only casual acquaintances who are not into phoning me or dropping in. Perhaps it's just a time thing, but I miss him terribly. Even when he was here with his dementia, he was still company. I still can't believe how rapidly he went downhill, from being almost normal 18 months ago, to now being in care. When my arm was in plaster, I was only able to visit once a week and once I was out of plaster and was able to drive myself once again, I've visited him more frequently. However, talking to the RN yesterday, I commented that MH hadn't eaten much of his midday meal while I was there. Her reply was that when I'm not there, he cleans his plate up and that I was a distraction to him. I think she meant that kindly, but I've now decided to only visit once a week. He recognises me, but it's clear he doesn't think about or ask about me when I'm not there, he's settled, so perhaps it would be better for both of us if I only went once a week. It is a long drive and to be honest, I'm feeling pretty tired today after travelling twice this week. The home is a 90 minute drive from here and then there is the return trip.
I know he is in the best place and has improved in many ways since being there, so why can't I just accept the status quo and get on with life?
I feel so stupid posting this, but what else can I do on a lonely Saturday night as I sit here crying my eyes out?