I know it's early days ( just over a month since mum passed away), but I find it difficult to cope with the way my feelings change so rapidly. I got 25 sympathy cards, which really did help me, but a number of them said things like" You looked after your mum so well, now it's your time to start looking after yourself". It feels strange; I know what they mean, but at the moment I can't think about the future, at least not in a positive sense. Even on Sunday, when I saw in the notices that it mentioned a celebration for my mum's life. I immediately felt the word was wrong. I know what they mean. After all she lived to 95, went to her clubs right up to she went to hospital, and that was a month and a half before she passed. Yet, all I can think of at the moment is the fact that she isnt here. It's as if people want me to bypass the mourning bit.I think there is something in what the Victorians did, as do some religious groups like Jews, when they prescribe rituals to help the mourning process.Even things like black bands signal that you are in mourning, and are working through your grief. It feels like being in bubble at times, being in mourning, and the fact that there arent universally recognised ways of doing so makes it worse.