The apathy and lack of empathy is hard to take. I look at OH and he seems so "normal" that it is easy to slip into thinking that he is perfectly able to do things and he is just being difficult. Actually, though, he is not able to do them - he cannot work out how to do things. In OHs case he is able to tell you how to do things, but he is not able to take this knowledge and apply it to real life. So many people are taken in by this. They check he "knows what he is doing" and when he reels of what he has to do they say "OK, you know what to do" and let him get on with it - but he cant do it. All his skills have been gradually lost over the past few years and now he even requires help with showering.
It is difficult to change your mindset, but I have had to step back emotionally to protect myself. I now know that I cannot rely on him for anything - I am on my own and if I dont do something, or organise someone else to do it, it simply wont get done. OH used to be such a practical man and did a lot round the house; the first time I realised that he he no longer knew how to paint a wall it nearly broke my heart. He kept picking up the roller and brushes, looking at them and putting them down again. Eventually he walked away.
It is difficult to change your mindset, but I have had to step back emotionally to protect myself. I now know that I cannot rely on him for anything - I am on my own and if I dont do something, or organise someone else to do it, it simply wont get done. OH used to be such a practical man and did a lot round the house; the first time I realised that he he no longer knew how to paint a wall it nearly broke my heart. He kept picking up the roller and brushes, looking at them and putting them down again. Eventually he walked away.