Please can someone help me? I may ramble as I am so overwhelmed.
I have cared for my lovely Mum (84) for 5.5 years since my Dad died. She lived independently with me seeing her 5 days a week (and all weekend) and for many years we shared such good times together despite this awful illness. She started going to a fabulous day centre - latterly upped to 4 days per week where she loved to sing and dance. I took her out regularly to theatre and lunch. coffees etc.
Mum has Alzeheimers but is otherwise relatively fit.
In the last year however her Alzheimers took a real decline and she was wandering, hallucinating and had a number of visits to hospital with infections, accidents at home etc .
Most of all she seemed very scared to be left alone. Care package was upped to 3 visits per day but night time turned into day time and mum wasn't going to bed...just falling asleep in chair and calling me 3 sometimes 4 times in night. I work and have a family and was became so exhausted.
Over Christmas things got so much worse so I moved in with her as social services said they would try to find her a care place in the New Year if I could manage her over the holidays.
It got so bad on Saturday with the hallucinations I called NHS 245 and the doc gave antibiotics but said he expected this to be the illness rather than any underlying infection and coudl I hold on to Monday and call my GP. The weekend was awful...I love Mum so much and tried to keep her comfy (even took her into the bed with me to hold her). She kept asking is this my house, are you my daughter etc.
So GP (who is lovely) came yesterday mornign and she said mum needs 24 hour care now. She found a hospital place for Mum and we packed a bag.
Leaving her there was devastating for me. I feel so guilty. She doesn't want to be there and said she is going home so the doctor rang me and said they would need to section her for her own safety as she is nto safe at home. (Taking her in to my home is not an option and I dont think i could cope in any way with her behaviour much as I love her to bits. Hope that makes sense. I am going between guilt and relief that she is safe.
So I cvalled the hispital last night (they told me to clal at 7pm to see how she was settling\) but the didnt answer the phone from 7pm to 10pm I tried umpteen times.
Im going to visit today but not sure what I should say to her about being there. I told her yesterday she was going in so the docs could make sure her meds were right and they needed to do some tests. The fear on her face when I left her is haunting me. And I am so sad that she will never be back in her home of 60 years.
I need to pick up some things form her house today to take with me....so sad. I cant stop crying.
My husband says that I need to look after myself and that I am exhausted and I know that but what more can I do for Mum to help her in this stage and get her settled?
How can I make her happy again?
I have cared for my lovely Mum (84) for 5.5 years since my Dad died. She lived independently with me seeing her 5 days a week (and all weekend) and for many years we shared such good times together despite this awful illness. She started going to a fabulous day centre - latterly upped to 4 days per week where she loved to sing and dance. I took her out regularly to theatre and lunch. coffees etc.
Mum has Alzeheimers but is otherwise relatively fit.
In the last year however her Alzheimers took a real decline and she was wandering, hallucinating and had a number of visits to hospital with infections, accidents at home etc .
Most of all she seemed very scared to be left alone. Care package was upped to 3 visits per day but night time turned into day time and mum wasn't going to bed...just falling asleep in chair and calling me 3 sometimes 4 times in night. I work and have a family and was became so exhausted.
Over Christmas things got so much worse so I moved in with her as social services said they would try to find her a care place in the New Year if I could manage her over the holidays.
It got so bad on Saturday with the hallucinations I called NHS 245 and the doc gave antibiotics but said he expected this to be the illness rather than any underlying infection and coudl I hold on to Monday and call my GP. The weekend was awful...I love Mum so much and tried to keep her comfy (even took her into the bed with me to hold her). She kept asking is this my house, are you my daughter etc.
So GP (who is lovely) came yesterday mornign and she said mum needs 24 hour care now. She found a hospital place for Mum and we packed a bag.
Leaving her there was devastating for me. I feel so guilty. She doesn't want to be there and said she is going home so the doctor rang me and said they would need to section her for her own safety as she is nto safe at home. (Taking her in to my home is not an option and I dont think i could cope in any way with her behaviour much as I love her to bits. Hope that makes sense. I am going between guilt and relief that she is safe.
So I cvalled the hispital last night (they told me to clal at 7pm to see how she was settling\) but the didnt answer the phone from 7pm to 10pm I tried umpteen times.
Im going to visit today but not sure what I should say to her about being there. I told her yesterday she was going in so the docs could make sure her meds were right and they needed to do some tests. The fear on her face when I left her is haunting me. And I am so sad that she will never be back in her home of 60 years.
I need to pick up some things form her house today to take with me....so sad. I cant stop crying.
My husband says that I need to look after myself and that I am exhausted and I know that but what more can I do for Mum to help her in this stage and get her settled?
How can I make her happy again?