Good Morning. This is my first post and would appreciate others experience/advice in this situation.
My 82 year old mother has dementia and has been in a care home for about 9 months, during which time she has noticeably worsened (to be expected I know). The care home is lovely and staff very pleasant and I (and my brother) are comfortable with her being there. However it is not her home town and every conversation revolves around her returning to where she spent the majority of her life, about 40 miles away. She gets very upset and this is distressing for the family - she's in the current location as it means she gets many visits from immediate family but she wants to be 'where her friends and other family members are'. I know she's thinking back years and the reality is that she will not see many of her old friends/family if she relocates (and she is certainly not up to forging new friendships) but this repetitive desire and her distress is tearing us up and ruining our visits and we are considering relocating her to her home town. I'm not sure she will even know she's there if we do move her but we are willing to try if it would be of any benefit at all. My head says it won't resolve anything but my heart says maybe we should try and my brother says he's happy for her to move (I suspect he's reached the end of his tether and is very worn down by the whole thing as he seems to get most of the blame for her being where she is). Any advice or experience of this situation gratefully received.
My 82 year old mother has dementia and has been in a care home for about 9 months, during which time she has noticeably worsened (to be expected I know). The care home is lovely and staff very pleasant and I (and my brother) are comfortable with her being there. However it is not her home town and every conversation revolves around her returning to where she spent the majority of her life, about 40 miles away. She gets very upset and this is distressing for the family - she's in the current location as it means she gets many visits from immediate family but she wants to be 'where her friends and other family members are'. I know she's thinking back years and the reality is that she will not see many of her old friends/family if she relocates (and she is certainly not up to forging new friendships) but this repetitive desire and her distress is tearing us up and ruining our visits and we are considering relocating her to her home town. I'm not sure she will even know she's there if we do move her but we are willing to try if it would be of any benefit at all. My head says it won't resolve anything but my heart says maybe we should try and my brother says he's happy for her to move (I suspect he's reached the end of his tether and is very worn down by the whole thing as he seems to get most of the blame for her being where she is). Any advice or experience of this situation gratefully received.