Mum has had dementia for about 6 years now and been in her nursing home for over 3 of them. She is in the advanced stages now, she is doubly incontinent, cannot speak properly or make herself understood, doesn't understand others and has been losing interest in eating for a while now. Some of the other residents in the nursing home seem to be quite happy in their own little worlds but not mum, she is not a happy dementia patient. She is unrecognisable as the bright, happy, vibrant person she used to be. Now she is unhappy, sad, depressed, upset, tearful. The staff in the nursing home spoke to me a while back about the fact that she is losing weight and suggested supplement milkshakes. I discussed this with the rest of the family and we decided against doing this as it would just be prolonging the torment she is in. If there was the tiniest chance of her getting better then of course I would agree with trying to build her up, but she isn't going to get better, she is just going to continue to sit there sad, unhappy, confused, unable to communicate, trapped in the prison of dementia. Not eating is part of the process of the illness, I know that and in my heart of hearts I know that I have made the right decision for her, I know her better than anyone and I know that she would not want to be like she is. It breaks my heart to see her like this but it feels so counter intuitive telling the nursing home not to supplement her diet, I feel like they are all judging me when I visit mum and feel very alone. Is anyone else in this sort of situation? Sorry to ramble on, it would just be good to hear from anyone who has an inkling of how it feels. Thanks for listening.