We had a phone call from CH last Thursday to say MIL had had a fall and they thought a stroke. Paramedics arrived and took her to hospital and MIL could not remember falling, did not know where she was and asking if her mum was coming in to see her. None of this was unusual behaviour for MIL. We said we would like her to be taken back to the CH asap as it just adds to her confusion being anywhere different even though she does not know where she is in the care home. The Dr wanted to keep her in as she needed fluids but maybe go home next day. She was ok overnight and Friday we went in and she was more chatty than usual and talking rather than us talking and her answering so we thought it was a good sign. Saturdays visit was worrying as she was sound asleep and we could not wake her (usually a very very light sleeper) and even a firm nudge would not wake her. We were told not too worry as she was probably very tired, so we decided to return for the later time visiting hour. She was more awake and back to her usual self asking where she was and was mum coming etc. Sunday we were told that she had lost her swallow reflex due to the stroke and she could would cough and splutter even with sips of water off a sponge. The Dr spoke with us and said they could try nasal tube feed but it would only be a temporary thing as she was not a suitable candidate for a peg feed. We asked what is the point if nothing more could be done so she was put on "at risk feeding" which meant she could have thickened foods and water but was at risk of choking and also we were told she was at end of life so if she got a chest infection from risk feeding then they would only treat the symptoms and not the infection. We agreed with this as we thought it best for her. She has hated every day of her life (15months) in care and asks every day where her husband is and her Mum and Dad. She told us nearly every day she hated it there and the CH staff told us that she is not a happy person.
MIL had not eaten anything except a yoghurt and very little fluids since her admission to hospital and she was fitted with a syringe driver with morphine and sedatives on Thursday. It has been a rollercoaster journey as some of you have described and I think it is an awful way for anybody to end their life. We are now just sat waiting and watching and she is hanging on and it makes us wonder was she at the end of life? I know she hated life with dementia and we know we did do the right thing for her but it is not easy to help make the decision to end life in such a slow manner. Very soon our journey will be over and for that I will be thankful but I do wish that end of life means just that and quickly administered in one big shot rather than small doses over a long period and prolonging suffering for all. I wish you all the very best with the rest of your journey and hope you have a peaceful ride x
MIL had not eaten anything except a yoghurt and very little fluids since her admission to hospital and she was fitted with a syringe driver with morphine and sedatives on Thursday. It has been a rollercoaster journey as some of you have described and I think it is an awful way for anybody to end their life. We are now just sat waiting and watching and she is hanging on and it makes us wonder was she at the end of life? I know she hated life with dementia and we know we did do the right thing for her but it is not easy to help make the decision to end life in such a slow manner. Very soon our journey will be over and for that I will be thankful but I do wish that end of life means just that and quickly administered in one big shot rather than small doses over a long period and prolonging suffering for all. I wish you all the very best with the rest of your journey and hope you have a peaceful ride x