My MIL is not yet diagnosed, but after increasingly serious memory issues (including forgetting day to day events, missing cancer medication some days, and some meals) my husband and I are worried she has dementia. Now reading through posts on this forum and others, I am wondering whether several of her past behaviours were all part of the illness too.
One example - a few years ago we were staying with her to help her through a cancer treatment and I threw away a re-potted plant offshoot (from one of her main plants, in a small plastic cup) because it had somehow gotten moldy - but I didn't check with her first. A few days later she asked where it was and seemed upset with me, but then accepted my apology and explanation. However, every day after that for a few weeks she would ask the same question and we would go through the same conversation - over and over again - until we left and went back home (overseas).
Another example - the christmas before last I was getting down her christmas decorations from a high shelf to be helpful, and I noticed the black plastic bag holding the tinsel was ripped, so I changed it into a new plastic bag. A few days later she called to ask my husband where her tinsel was, and he explained. After checking, she said it wasn't hers and that I had told her I was taking hers and putting it into storage, and she wanted me to bring it back (this hadn't happened). He explained I hadn't taken it and that I had changed the bag, but she kept insisting I had told her I had taken it and that she wasn't 'going mad'. After the phonecall ended, she called again about 20 minutes later and the whole conversation was repeated. She then called again and again, every 20-30 minutes, until I was in tears and he stopped answering the phone. I pulled myself together, we went back to stay with her for christmas, and every day she asked me once or twice, until the tree was up and I think she must have finally recognised it was her tinsel after all, because she was happy with the tree and stopped asking.
These small events were surprising and upsetting at the time because she is a sweet, gracious woman (except when driving!) and we have always got on well. I stayed with her and looked after her during parts of her illness (my husband and I took turns) and although she doesn't remember most of that difficult time, I do think it created more of a bond.
But as I reflect back I'm now thinking - were these actually a symptom of dementia? Has it been happening for years? Or am I just overthinking things now??
One example - a few years ago we were staying with her to help her through a cancer treatment and I threw away a re-potted plant offshoot (from one of her main plants, in a small plastic cup) because it had somehow gotten moldy - but I didn't check with her first. A few days later she asked where it was and seemed upset with me, but then accepted my apology and explanation. However, every day after that for a few weeks she would ask the same question and we would go through the same conversation - over and over again - until we left and went back home (overseas).
Another example - the christmas before last I was getting down her christmas decorations from a high shelf to be helpful, and I noticed the black plastic bag holding the tinsel was ripped, so I changed it into a new plastic bag. A few days later she called to ask my husband where her tinsel was, and he explained. After checking, she said it wasn't hers and that I had told her I was taking hers and putting it into storage, and she wanted me to bring it back (this hadn't happened). He explained I hadn't taken it and that I had changed the bag, but she kept insisting I had told her I had taken it and that she wasn't 'going mad'. After the phonecall ended, she called again about 20 minutes later and the whole conversation was repeated. She then called again and again, every 20-30 minutes, until I was in tears and he stopped answering the phone. I pulled myself together, we went back to stay with her for christmas, and every day she asked me once or twice, until the tree was up and I think she must have finally recognised it was her tinsel after all, because she was happy with the tree and stopped asking.
These small events were surprising and upsetting at the time because she is a sweet, gracious woman (except when driving!) and we have always got on well. I stayed with her and looked after her during parts of her illness (my husband and I took turns) and although she doesn't remember most of that difficult time, I do think it created more of a bond.
But as I reflect back I'm now thinking - were these actually a symptom of dementia? Has it been happening for years? Or am I just overthinking things now??