My Mums has had dementia for over eleven years but has only been in a care homes for past 3 years. I have been visiting my mum religiously 6 days a week since my mum has been in care. I also have a sister that visits my mum daily and two brothers and two sisters who visit once a week.
The home recently has change management and staff and standards of care have drastically fallen. Although my mum does not make sense when she talks she still tries and enjoys conversation. She cannot walk and is Incontinent. When visiting my mum I often find my mum sitting in urine and being given horrendous food to eat. There is also lack of interaction and now my mum is found sleeping a lot. I have raised these issues with staff and management but have been made to feel I am being nuisance. I feel when the family are not around the staff hardly acknowledgement my mum the and dignity shown is lacking. Although my mum can’t physically tell us, I can definitely tell by my mums mood and the expression in her face when she’s unhappy or distressed.
I have spoken to my family about this and although they are fully aware of the flaws at the home none of them seem bothered enough to do something about it. I have reported the home to CQC and social services but after an inspection the homes have come out it with clean report due to a massive cover up. I personally feel very let down by system and nothing I seem to say or do changes a thing. I would like to remove my mum from the home but my family are resisting this due to location and they are worried if they move mum to another home we may have the same problems.
After finding my visits becoming increasingly harder and harder to go to and the feeling or being absolutely helpless on Friday I made the heart wrenching decision to say my goodbyes to my beautiful mum, as I no longer have the strength to watch my mum suffer and for her to have the last bit of dignity stripped way. Although my mum is physically there I lost my mum along time ago and luckily for mum she doesn’t know who I am and still will have plenty of family members visiting her. My heart physically hurts and the thought of never seeing her again has made making this the hardest decision I have to make in my life. I feel I am letting my mum down but physically and emotionally I just can’t continue to go. Does this make me a bad person?
The home recently has change management and staff and standards of care have drastically fallen. Although my mum does not make sense when she talks she still tries and enjoys conversation. She cannot walk and is Incontinent. When visiting my mum I often find my mum sitting in urine and being given horrendous food to eat. There is also lack of interaction and now my mum is found sleeping a lot. I have raised these issues with staff and management but have been made to feel I am being nuisance. I feel when the family are not around the staff hardly acknowledgement my mum the and dignity shown is lacking. Although my mum can’t physically tell us, I can definitely tell by my mums mood and the expression in her face when she’s unhappy or distressed.
I have spoken to my family about this and although they are fully aware of the flaws at the home none of them seem bothered enough to do something about it. I have reported the home to CQC and social services but after an inspection the homes have come out it with clean report due to a massive cover up. I personally feel very let down by system and nothing I seem to say or do changes a thing. I would like to remove my mum from the home but my family are resisting this due to location and they are worried if they move mum to another home we may have the same problems.
After finding my visits becoming increasingly harder and harder to go to and the feeling or being absolutely helpless on Friday I made the heart wrenching decision to say my goodbyes to my beautiful mum, as I no longer have the strength to watch my mum suffer and for her to have the last bit of dignity stripped way. Although my mum is physically there I lost my mum along time ago and luckily for mum she doesn’t know who I am and still will have plenty of family members visiting her. My heart physically hurts and the thought of never seeing her again has made making this the hardest decision I have to make in my life. I feel I am letting my mum down but physically and emotionally I just can’t continue to go. Does this make me a bad person?