Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Margi29 you are so right, the driving was a killer, Friday I split it down with a stop to visit a friend, so longer, but In sections. Today, 180 miles, with a pit stop for a comfort break. I’m sore in so many places, but I spent time with youngest & his fiancé so well worth the pain. Mum liked her, so that’s mega bonus

Told big brother Mum is major depressed, so he came over for an hour today, met youngest’s fiancé briefly & cheered up Mum.

I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the thought of all the driving, when I was already in pain. Three hundred & sixty miles, nine hours, sitting in a car over thirty six hours. It sounds a lot when you say it like that doesn’t it!!!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @rosy18 its the thought of all the work that drains the pleasure. I knew I’d be pleased to see youngest, but was struggling with the preparation, like you & your impending visit. Hope yours went well.

There are times when I wish the visitor could do the work, wouldn’t that be grand. But I enjoyed spoiling youngest. He doesn’t ask for much, so I give all I can

 

[Sam Luvit]

The weekend isn’t finished, but I am

Up showered, dressed, coffee & in the car just after 9. Fill up car, & drive for an hour & a half, not been to see my friend for a while & took a wrong turn, so it took longer. I’d phoned with ETA, but she left me stamping my very cold feet for a while as she got downstairs. Lovely to see her though.

2 hour coffee & chat, then it was back in the car for stage 2. Traffic was awful. ( translate to complete dogs dinner). I had 4.2 miles to go & Madam SatNav said it would take 20 minutes. Twenty minutes to drive less than 5 miles!! That thing was right. It did. So over 1.5 hours

Then pack the car & drive back to collect youngest. His fiancé chatted, so it wasn’t too bad. He even got out of work on time ! Yay. That’s a first.

Friday traffic meant it took us a further hour & 40 to get home. I was a bit tired.

Interesting comfort break. You know the non touch flush loos, the type where you wave your hand & it flushes? I’ve discovered a fault!

Picture this.

I do check public loo before usage. So glad. Anyway. As I sat, the loo flushed causing me to rise rapidly rather than getting an unexpected wash. I then sat giggling at the absurdity. It then refused to flush. I waved. I flapped. I waited & tried waving, but no chance. I was washing my hands before it worked

Enter next unsuspected lady. Door closed & seconds later it flushed. I had to leg it out in fits of giggles at someone else getting an unexpected wash

We had a good evening, Mum was obviously tired & went to bed around 11.30, youngest followed around midnight. I stayed up with Captain Morgan & his fiancé till after 3!! We bonded

Up & trying for coffee by 9, pooch was cross so I set off to the seafront with him. Short walk, so he was happy. I couldn’t manage any more.

Took the kids to town, eldest joined, but was a right miserable melodramatic pain. We glossed it. We found a simple necklace for Mum, from all of us. Hope she likes it. It’s a bit more fancy than the fleece lined leggings I’ve got on order for her!!!!

Big brother phoned, so picked him up & back to Mum. Lots of chat & then I kicked them back in the car. Dropped big brother home & off we go. Yeah right. Stop to shop, as some crisis / misunderstanding with finance kids, much discussion & stress, with me peace keeping.

They both “examined their eyelids” but didn’t sleep. Me thinks they slept. It was very quiet for the 2 hours up the road.

I got hugs from the little uns, supportive chat from future in-laws & promises of help with Poppet!! Baby girl wanted a promise that I’d stay next time. (I think I’m accepted).

Back to the car. Just got in & drove. No stops. No breaks. Just keep my foot down & eyes open. Just under 2 hours. Getting out the car .... that was another story. I’ve staggered in shortly after 11.30. Bless J, she’s popped over to check in Mum, taken the pooch out for a walk (slipped on the ice),but said she’s fine

Had a nightcap with Mum, made her a hot chocolate & she’s off to bed

It’s been full on. I’m trying to think what part of me doesn’t hurt, but I’m struggling with that. Back, shoulders, knees, even my ankles hurt. But, I got hugs. Mum is smiling. What more do I need

 

[DollyBird16]

Hi all, just caught up with all the news. @Sam Luvit what a marathon, no hope of me keeping up your pace.
@Margi29 hope the meds have kicked in and you feel a little better. You have decs down. I have the opposite everyday more go up at Mum and Dads, no coordination of colour, they have some lovely items but have used old threadbare stuff - lol
@Slugsta how you doing, taking a leaf from your book and going to service to belt out a few tunes, god bless the congregation my singing is awful but I love a good sing / wail. When I sing at home even in her confusion Mum says hmmm more practice needed.
@rosy18 I understand the conversation subject, if it helps I find the info really useful to learn from and again like you I smile that this is what my conversation is.
I’m even interested in air fresheners, got quite excited about the new one advertised on the tv - really I must get a life.
Love to all, always in my thoughts. XXX

 

[Margi29]

I'm hoping now you are nice and relaxed, warm and with a nice rum.
All that travel would have exhausted me
I'm off work now till after Xmas, the chest infection won, so at least finished earlier than I expected

Took mum lots of shopping around today, very mixed up and then tonight repeated phone calls, my sister is going to mums for next two nights, so a pile of ironing, size of a mountain waiting for me to crack !!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @DollyBird16, don’t worry, I was on light duties today as a result. I did a mini shop & cooked. No dig walking. No exercise. No nothing lol

 

[Sam Luvit]

Trust me @Margi29 I am exhausted, hope your chest infection is starting to respond to the meds

Your poor Mum. Poor you too, I know the calls just wear you down

I’m chilling with rum after a good winter stew, before heading out into the cold with the pooch

 

[Sam Luvit]

Interesting article someone shared with me:

https://www.theguardian.com/comment...-dignity-to-dementia-patients-changed-society

 

[Sam Luvit]

My day for useful info .... Ring Doorbell on offer at Maplin

https://www.maplin.co.uk/p/ring-video-doorbell-satin-nickel-a27wj

 

[Slugsta]

Afternoon all,

Sam, I was sure I had posted with 'tea and sympathy' after I read about your marathon day. However, it appears that t'interweb has eaten my message - as it does with all my witty, erudite and insightful ones

I am glad your son visited, that the visit went well, that you like the fiancé but sorry that it was such an arduous day for you (((hugs)))

Margi, I am sorry that you have succumbed to a chest infection Hope the antibiotics are helping you feel better (((hugs))).

 

[Sam Luvit]

Oh @Slugsta that bought a song to mind ...

Pass the tea & sympathy for the good old days are gone
Let's drink a toast to those who most
Believe in what they want
It's a long, long time 'til mornin'
Lays wasted on the dawn
I'll not write another line
For my true love is gone.

Read more: Janis Ian - Tea And Sympathy Lyrics | MetroLyrics

It’s been a good, if long weekend. Cheered Mum up a bit, but tonight was back to the “I should be dead” lament

Some of it is lack of sleep, delightful neighbour still got his lights flashing & it’s well after midnight. Mum says they keep her awake. I’m so tired of him.

Christmas tree is up, decorations are in the lobby waiting for my next burst of energy or a bit of time & a large bottle of wine. I’ve wrapped 4 presents, I’ll be waiting on calls to see if they are well received (or not). Dragged the boys to town & youngest found a delicate necklace for Mum, let’s hope she likes that

I’m not feeling very Christmassy but hope that improves over the week. Right now it just feels like a lot of work. I need lessons in how to say “no”, just been conned into delivering a part this week for big brother, 3 hour round trip!!! What am I like

 

[Sam Luvit]

Well, I’ve walked the pooch, met a lovely lady & chatted with her while we walked slowly from one park bench to the next (she’s moved after being widowed). Mums not up yet!!

Going to hit the shower & get to work. I’m trying to get the courage to say I won’t be in till after Christmas as I’ve so much to do

 

[Sam Luvit]

Mum is up now, seems a bit brighter so that’s good. I’ve suggested she come along for the drive to do big brothers delivery later this week & she seems keen. At least if she comes with me, I won’t be stressing over her deciding to tidy up while I’m gone. I really don’t fancy hunt the crockery just before Christmas

Hey ho, hey ho, it’s off to work I go ....

 

[Slugsta]

Glad that your mum is a bit brighter Sam, I hope that makes your day easier (((hugs))).

 

[Margi29]

Good idea, take your mum for the drive and while your at it please pick mine up !!!

Phone call today, " somebody has been in and took my tree down and stolen all the baubles "

I went round

Tree with legs missing, no baubles in sight ( this is becoming a bad comedy sketch, third tree in a row and now
Mum saying she heard someone in flat taking tree down)

I went in all drawers, in nightwear drawer some baubles, in another some more baubles !!!

Xmas lights totally ****** !!!!

I sat mum on bed and explained she'd done it and wasted breath, I said sorry mum you have and you've forgotten because you've got dementia. Mum was upset, I'm upset. The stupid daughter who should have really kept her mouth shut.

Anyhow the upshot is, been to try get yet another tree, can't find any !!
Return to mums and she asks if I have any sand and cement, and she will fix bottom of tree !!

My answer was ' no I don't keep it on me '

Bad horrible nasty daughter bah bliddy hum bug.

 

[Amethyst59]

Oh my life...I’m reading this while listening to an audio version of A Christmas Carol. This is like the ghost of Christmas future. It makes my sleepless nights pale in comparison, because the days are still mostly lived in the real world. Well done you girls, holding down jobs, bringing up families and looking after your mums.

 

[Amy in the US]

Margi, you're not horrible, you're human, doing an impossible job!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Slugsta

It’s so much easier when Mum is brighter, less stress

Fingers crossed she at least keeps a bit brighter or gets more bright!!

At least I wasn’t worried being out for a few hours

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Margi29

I had the opposite with Mum last year. I decorated the tree, it was simple & pretty. Mum decided to add to it. Looked blooming awful. So we had the tug of decorations war. She added, I removed. I gave up in the end.

I wouId offer to pick up your Mum, but it’d be a very long trip. Not sure which (if any) of us wouId survive, but I’m not taking bets on it being me

I’m not sure what to say, your poor Mum thinking someone’s been round taking her tree & you pulling your hair out :-(. Someone needs to invent a cctv type thing, to put in place of the fairy, with a stern male voice (coz they listen to men & hear that better!!), saying “step away from the tree”. I’d change it to “step away from the sink / bleach / washing”.

What do you mean, you don’t carry cement mix with you .... what sort of person are you??? Seriously need to sort out your pockets Margi

Have you tried click n collect from Tesco / Asda etc to replace the tree, just a thought.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’m right with you @Amethyst59 , I’m dreading these stages, my mum just gets depressed, which is hard, but I don’t want to strangle her

Ok. So I have wanted to at times, but now I just try to hug it out of her