Hi, i posted a bit when I first had to move mum to a care home 18 days ago but then went quiet as the guilt monster everyone here understands consumed me...so haven't felt up to posting for a while. Every day mum packs her bags (now including the cushions, bedding and anything she can get her hands on...) and every visitor is greeted with "oh good you've come to take me home". The DOL is in place and she is not safe to go anywhere and each time it gets more heart breaking to see her face when her latest escape plan fails! The home have been superb and the staff are marvellous but we still haven't managed a bath or shower so a new order is going in to "force" her which for a lady who was never out the bathroom is a hard one to deal with emotionally for me. I never expected to be so overwhelmed by the paper work and all the issues that come with this and I know many of you will understand...some days it seems like there are just too many decisions to make that I just don't want to do and it all seems so intrusive to deal with mums things and to step in to her finances etc. I just guess I wanted to off load some of my sadness here and to give the guilt monster a kick by writing down how I feel! I just wish there was a magic cure as I am sure many of you also do......I will sign off and go hope for some sleep and no dreams about mum's face every time the door closes!