Hi, thank you so much fo your kind replies.
The home that we went to the other day was indeed a nursing home for challenging behaviour with specialism in dementia. However, they had a fair percentage of residents who just needed care, not nursing. I think we just need to jeep looking.
Our mental health care unit has signed mum off their books as Dad took her off all meds. They changed her medication about four times, each one she was put on had bad side effects for her. These included not eating, not being able to walk (Mum is a physically fit 74 year old), and no recognition of us. Without the medication Mum recognises me, can walk and enjoys her sweets foods! I was appalled that the mental health u it washed their hands of us. Should we try and push foe more help? We are totally on our own. We dont know which nursing homes to try, and Dad does need respite.
Mum only gets shouty when she doesnt want to do something. It is true, she may be disruptive with others, say at meal times if she has had enough. She will shout and swear through shower times, and hair washes, also toilet times.
What can I suggest to Dad do you think? We miss Mum so so much, but there is still a bit there. She loves cuddles and our one on one attention, but we cant always provide that, so need help.
Thank you for listening. X
UOTE=LadyA;1437910]Hello Minandmol,
I wonder if you would be better, rather than a "Care Home", looking at a home that specialises in dementia care and challenging behaviour, right from the beginning? Otherwise, if you find a Care Home that agrees to take your mum for respite, you might find that they would phone and ask you to come and take her back very quickly, which would have then disrupted her and your dad's routine for nothing. Shouting, while maybe not seen as too much of a problem at home, could quickly escalate in a residential environment, because other residents could get upset by it, and start off too. The Management have to take that into consideration. There was a lady at my late husband's nursing home who just shouted to herself all. the. time. None stop, as she walked around, you could hear "Oh, God help us! This must be some sort of hospital. There seem to be an awful lot of sick people here. Oh, the poor people!" that went on all day, and other residents and visitors were also questioned at full volume, with the same questions repeated constantly. Everyone's nerves were put on edge, even though it was not at all the lady's fault. It was just the presentation of her illness. But the other residents would get upset at the constant noise, and start shouting back, and she got slapped once or twice before staff could intervene.
Finally, she was put on some medication, which did not turn her into a zombie, she still spent all day walking around, but it did tone down the shouting. My husband was also on a lot of medication, including anti psychotics, to deal with the way his illness presented. Extreme paranoia and terrifying hallucinations & delusions. His medication didn't turn him into a zombie either. It did what it was supposed to do, it dealt with his troublesome symptoms, and he was able to life contentedly. When he finally went into a nursing home, he also spent his time walking around, visiting other residents, enjoying the music programs etc.[/QUOTE]
