Hi
My dad has dementia and 2 weeks ago my mum died of vascular dementia.
They were in the same care home.
Shortly after her death we brought him into the room where she was, explained what had happened.
He wept and seemed to understand.
However the next morning he said he'd seen her last night and that she didn't look too well. It had had a big impact as he would never normally recall anything from the prdvious evening.
A couple days after this he had no memory of it and mentioned her as if nothing had happened.
He doesnt really ask to see her often.
So my dilema is, should he come to the funeral?!
Part of me thinks definitely yes, they were married 45 years, how could he not be there?
Another part of me thinks its kinder and less distressing for him to be kept in blissful ignorance.
I'd really appreciate others views.
Thanks.
My dad has dementia and 2 weeks ago my mum died of vascular dementia.
They were in the same care home.
Shortly after her death we brought him into the room where she was, explained what had happened.
He wept and seemed to understand.
However the next morning he said he'd seen her last night and that she didn't look too well. It had had a big impact as he would never normally recall anything from the prdvious evening.
A couple days after this he had no memory of it and mentioned her as if nothing had happened.
He doesnt really ask to see her often.
So my dilema is, should he come to the funeral?!
Part of me thinks definitely yes, they were married 45 years, how could he not be there?
Another part of me thinks its kinder and less distressing for him to be kept in blissful ignorance.
I'd really appreciate others views.
Thanks.