Hi
Sadly the pennies are running out and we need to plan ahead for my Aunt to go into a nursing care home next year. The live in carer is fabulous, the respite carer/helper is fabulous - we know we are unlikely to find anything as safe or as good as my Aunt's own home where she receives amazing care. Also my Aunt pathologically fears going in a home. We can't even raise the topic of going into a home with her. We always said we would try to keep our elders in their own homes as long as possible but we are coming to the end of the tracks in this current situation.
The worst thing about this situation is that my aunt knows where she is and that she is at home. It is the only place she feels safe now. With another aunt who went into a nursing care home she didn't know where she was any longer and as a very sociable being she loved the new activities and the people - she actually enjoyed the life and company. This other aunt is a private person and not a joiner in so a completely different character.
My aunt has a home to sell and 2 pensions so she is in a good position. In an ideal world we would keep her where she is until she didn't know she was at home any longer so the move wouldn't be as traumatic. But I can't keep this up for much longer now anyway - I hope that doesn't seem selfish.
Also even with the great carers the weight of being POA is sizeable. I am concierge/fixer of domestic issues from drains to whole heating systems, to getting food and incontinence pads delivered in bulk. The 'remaining in her own home' puts a strain on me as I have to manage her house and her finances. Everything runs on Direct Debit and credit card like clockwork, but there are the mini-emergencies and all that to juggle. Compared to what other people posting here experience I am very privileged. However I think one can only do this for so long as it does have an impact on my life.
How do you move someone into a nursing care home when they don't want to go, and you can't even mention it to them because they will freak? I would be grateful if you could share your own experience of how you have achieved this move and remained able to visit your relative without being hit, shouted at or worse....
Also does anyone have any experience with annuities that they might be able to share.
Thanks in advance
Sadly the pennies are running out and we need to plan ahead for my Aunt to go into a nursing care home next year. The live in carer is fabulous, the respite carer/helper is fabulous - we know we are unlikely to find anything as safe or as good as my Aunt's own home where she receives amazing care. Also my Aunt pathologically fears going in a home. We can't even raise the topic of going into a home with her. We always said we would try to keep our elders in their own homes as long as possible but we are coming to the end of the tracks in this current situation.
The worst thing about this situation is that my aunt knows where she is and that she is at home. It is the only place she feels safe now. With another aunt who went into a nursing care home she didn't know where she was any longer and as a very sociable being she loved the new activities and the people - she actually enjoyed the life and company. This other aunt is a private person and not a joiner in so a completely different character.
My aunt has a home to sell and 2 pensions so she is in a good position. In an ideal world we would keep her where she is until she didn't know she was at home any longer so the move wouldn't be as traumatic. But I can't keep this up for much longer now anyway - I hope that doesn't seem selfish.
Also even with the great carers the weight of being POA is sizeable. I am concierge/fixer of domestic issues from drains to whole heating systems, to getting food and incontinence pads delivered in bulk. The 'remaining in her own home' puts a strain on me as I have to manage her house and her finances. Everything runs on Direct Debit and credit card like clockwork, but there are the mini-emergencies and all that to juggle. Compared to what other people posting here experience I am very privileged. However I think one can only do this for so long as it does have an impact on my life.
How do you move someone into a nursing care home when they don't want to go, and you can't even mention it to them because they will freak? I would be grateful if you could share your own experience of how you have achieved this move and remained able to visit your relative without being hit, shouted at or worse....
Also does anyone have any experience with annuities that they might be able to share.
Thanks in advance