Phil was on larazapam, to calm him, that might be what Chris is on, as its used pretty much everywhere. I know how you feel, its awful when they say cant come home, but in your heart you know he is best looked after by professionals, Phil is still in the assessment unit, and I know how hard it is to see our oH in there, and even though I know everything is being done for his care like you I get sad and cry, the loneliness, is one of the hardest things to bear, please try and stay strong for your sake, cry when you need to, it helps to let it all out, I am focusing on moving Phil to a nursing home, I feel that he will feel better in a settled environment, his own room and some of his things around him, and I am keeping as busy as I can, works most of the time, but I still have a good bawl now and then it all seems so unfair. The other thing I would say is that I am much healthier now I am not on duty 24/7 finally sleeping and not having the worry of him lashing out, hadnt realised how stressed I was, I expect you are the same, make some you time, and try and relax, worrying over something you cant change wont do you any good, and you will be better when you visit, a bit more quality time. Take care thinking of you sandra xx