Spuddle - I get you.
I too drink more than I should, as a way of blotting out mum-in-law, dementia, work worries and just general life stress....
I have no words of advice - am drinking out of my own bottles at the moment (so to speak). Unless switching to First Cape (low-alcohol) counts as advice, but even then I don't take my own (tastes like glorified Schloer to me).
If you are anything like me, the thought of going through the day without a little pick-me-up at the end of it is just too much to handle feels unrelentingly bleak. Then that little pick-me-up turns into a larger than intended one...?
But you are not on your own at least....
You're not on your own with another one here too.
Time for exercise? who has that?
Don't even have time for showers. By the time you've sorted physical and emotional problems out for the person your caring for...it's 1am.
Sleep is hard to find because you're either worried about some problem that
seems to be brewing and you're trying to work out what it could be or you're faced with total illness and all the servitude that is required, or you're faced with nothing being resolved and the guessing game begins again tomorrow.
At the crack of dawn.
Until the c o c k crows.
Unrelenting caring.
I defy ANYBODY not to seek respite from it.
I do not receive any prescribed drugs, no anti-depressants, no sleeping tablets...none of the things that others feel are 'sympathy' drugs as a result of their caring.
I have a glass of wine.
It's too much Spuddle, if it feels like too much to you.
Perhaps you are marking the line yourself...passing out? well..for me... I would say that would be too much...but I don't know your margins and I don't know your troubles.
Take care, stay aware and always know that if things stress you ttttttooooo much...look for help outside of yourself...as you have done tonight.
Best wishes. x