Hi all
I can’t find the thread where I was moaning for 6 months about being guilt tripped into a holiday in Alaska and Portland Oregon with my OH. It has always been on his bucket list to do a cruise to see whales and glaciers, and he has long wanted to visit his daughter and granddaughter in Oregon.
We booked it last November and went on 2nd June. I set up good travel insurance (it cost £1000 in the end) kinda believing we would never really go and we would get our money back.
It ended up being quite complicated due to getting a good deal on the flights. We were flying from Heathrow to Vancouver, on the cruise from there to Juneau and back, flight from Vancouver to Portland, stay in an Airbnb, move to hotel in Portland, train to Seattle, overnight stay in Seattle then fly back to Heathrow.
I spent months planning all of this on a big spreadsheet, getting myself in a state and finally coming to believe that we would die out there and then not minding too much if we did.
Anyway time passed and we went. My OH is very up and down in his moods and prone to aggressive stubbornness if he doesn’t like what is going on. He tends to get easily overwhelmed by events especially out of his home comfort zone. It can take him days to get over a lunch visit to my sister 30 miles away. However we were going to see whales! And glaciers! So he was excited like a 3 year old and it all started off well. I had asked for special assistance at Heathrow to get us through security and ready to board. On the phone the lady there had been so kind and understanding about what kind of help we might need but at the airport it was very mobility focused and we were moved around with the wheelchair passengers, and left at places for lengthy times with no explanation as tends to happen to them. My OH was happy to wear the sunflower lanyard as he thought it was a special pass to get to the front of the queue but I don’t think many people get the significance of it. Maybe just my impression.
So we got there fine and got on the cruise - none of this particularly easy but I was in soldier mode. He loved the cruise. He woke me up every morning like a 5 year old on Christmas Day - what’s happening today???
Getting off the ship with all the luggage and spending a long day in Vancouver airport waiting to go to Portland was hard work. We finally got to the Airbnb apartment and he was very confused about the layout, insisting that the bedroom was upstairs. The bathroom was a long way from the bedroom so I had to set up lighting and signs at night to stop him getting lost.
His daughter and granddaughter were very excited to see him and had a big program of sightseeing lined up and I had to quickly manage their expectations. Then we all got ill with a horrendous cold for the last few days (which we only found out once we had got home was Covid 🙈🙈🙈) and suddenly I was dragging a fractious incoherent man in and out of taxis, on a train with all the luggage, from hotel to hotel to airport and onto the plane- whilst feeling feverish dizzy and short of breath myself. Somehow we made it back and my daughter picked us up, we stayed over at her house and I managed to drive us home the next day.
We are both still quite poorly as well as jet lagged now but we made it. I am trying to think of how I could have done better and what experience I can share.
Twice things went badly wrong and I panicked. First time I lost him in the busy ship cafe for around an hour. He went off to choose some food and never came back. I was torn between searching and staying put, thinking he must be frantic. I asked a security guard for help and he wasn’t at all helpful- said what does he look like? I said 5’10”, white hair, glasses. We surveyed the heaving crowd and that covered around 30% of the people. The guard shrugged and strolled off. I actually had an air tag on my OH but forgot to look for him that way. I also had a photo of him on my phone which could have helped. Anyway he turned up later, he couldn’t remember where I was so he just sat down somewhere else and ate his dinner.
Second time on the train to Seattle he went into a strange catatonic state, just plucking imaginary things off his trousers and saying random words. When we got to Seattle I couldn’t get him up and moving. People were offering to take our cases down the steps but I was afraid of losing them and I kinda batted off all offers of help in a panic. Luckily Seattle was the train destination or we could easily have ended up in Vancouver. Eventually I got him and all the cases and bags off. I had booked an Uber on the train as I didn’t have any phone use in US, just using free WiFi (big mistake! Next time get a sim or something). By the time we got out of the station we were 20 mins late for the Uber pick up and I couldn’t remember what sort of car it was. I propped up my OH on the cases and started running up and down frantically tapping on car windows. I now had no way to call another cab and there didn’t seem to be a taxi line, just people waiting for Ubers. That was the point I nearly cried. Then a message flashed up on my phone saying what car it was - not sure how! - and I tapped on the dark window of a black car and yes they were waiting for Sue! OMG I was so relieved. Seattle passed in a feverish haze (OH slept for 12 hours and thankfully was reasonably with it after that - I thought he had had a stroke or something but obviously in hindsight just very poorly with the Covid) and we finally got on plane home.
My first thoughts are absolutely never again, it was way too ambitious for how he is. I feel like the whole thing nearly killed me and I am lucky that we got back without any more trouble than we had.
On the other hand this was absolutely his last chance to see whales and glaciers like that (certainly to do it with me anyway) and we did it so I am pleased about that.
I feel pretty broken now but maybe it will all have been worth it. I feel terrible that we unknowingly went so many places with Covid but everyone seemed to be coughing on the plane so I am guessing it is still pretty rife out there under the radar. Anyway that’s my holiday story! Sending love to all xx
I can’t find the thread where I was moaning for 6 months about being guilt tripped into a holiday in Alaska and Portland Oregon with my OH. It has always been on his bucket list to do a cruise to see whales and glaciers, and he has long wanted to visit his daughter and granddaughter in Oregon.
We booked it last November and went on 2nd June. I set up good travel insurance (it cost £1000 in the end) kinda believing we would never really go and we would get our money back.
It ended up being quite complicated due to getting a good deal on the flights. We were flying from Heathrow to Vancouver, on the cruise from there to Juneau and back, flight from Vancouver to Portland, stay in an Airbnb, move to hotel in Portland, train to Seattle, overnight stay in Seattle then fly back to Heathrow.
I spent months planning all of this on a big spreadsheet, getting myself in a state and finally coming to believe that we would die out there and then not minding too much if we did.
Anyway time passed and we went. My OH is very up and down in his moods and prone to aggressive stubbornness if he doesn’t like what is going on. He tends to get easily overwhelmed by events especially out of his home comfort zone. It can take him days to get over a lunch visit to my sister 30 miles away. However we were going to see whales! And glaciers! So he was excited like a 3 year old and it all started off well. I had asked for special assistance at Heathrow to get us through security and ready to board. On the phone the lady there had been so kind and understanding about what kind of help we might need but at the airport it was very mobility focused and we were moved around with the wheelchair passengers, and left at places for lengthy times with no explanation as tends to happen to them. My OH was happy to wear the sunflower lanyard as he thought it was a special pass to get to the front of the queue but I don’t think many people get the significance of it. Maybe just my impression.
So we got there fine and got on the cruise - none of this particularly easy but I was in soldier mode. He loved the cruise. He woke me up every morning like a 5 year old on Christmas Day - what’s happening today???
Getting off the ship with all the luggage and spending a long day in Vancouver airport waiting to go to Portland was hard work. We finally got to the Airbnb apartment and he was very confused about the layout, insisting that the bedroom was upstairs. The bathroom was a long way from the bedroom so I had to set up lighting and signs at night to stop him getting lost.
His daughter and granddaughter were very excited to see him and had a big program of sightseeing lined up and I had to quickly manage their expectations. Then we all got ill with a horrendous cold for the last few days (which we only found out once we had got home was Covid 🙈🙈🙈) and suddenly I was dragging a fractious incoherent man in and out of taxis, on a train with all the luggage, from hotel to hotel to airport and onto the plane- whilst feeling feverish dizzy and short of breath myself. Somehow we made it back and my daughter picked us up, we stayed over at her house and I managed to drive us home the next day.
We are both still quite poorly as well as jet lagged now but we made it. I am trying to think of how I could have done better and what experience I can share.
Twice things went badly wrong and I panicked. First time I lost him in the busy ship cafe for around an hour. He went off to choose some food and never came back. I was torn between searching and staying put, thinking he must be frantic. I asked a security guard for help and he wasn’t at all helpful- said what does he look like? I said 5’10”, white hair, glasses. We surveyed the heaving crowd and that covered around 30% of the people. The guard shrugged and strolled off. I actually had an air tag on my OH but forgot to look for him that way. I also had a photo of him on my phone which could have helped. Anyway he turned up later, he couldn’t remember where I was so he just sat down somewhere else and ate his dinner.
Second time on the train to Seattle he went into a strange catatonic state, just plucking imaginary things off his trousers and saying random words. When we got to Seattle I couldn’t get him up and moving. People were offering to take our cases down the steps but I was afraid of losing them and I kinda batted off all offers of help in a panic. Luckily Seattle was the train destination or we could easily have ended up in Vancouver. Eventually I got him and all the cases and bags off. I had booked an Uber on the train as I didn’t have any phone use in US, just using free WiFi (big mistake! Next time get a sim or something). By the time we got out of the station we were 20 mins late for the Uber pick up and I couldn’t remember what sort of car it was. I propped up my OH on the cases and started running up and down frantically tapping on car windows. I now had no way to call another cab and there didn’t seem to be a taxi line, just people waiting for Ubers. That was the point I nearly cried. Then a message flashed up on my phone saying what car it was - not sure how! - and I tapped on the dark window of a black car and yes they were waiting for Sue! OMG I was so relieved. Seattle passed in a feverish haze (OH slept for 12 hours and thankfully was reasonably with it after that - I thought he had had a stroke or something but obviously in hindsight just very poorly with the Covid) and we finally got on plane home.
My first thoughts are absolutely never again, it was way too ambitious for how he is. I feel like the whole thing nearly killed me and I am lucky that we got back without any more trouble than we had.
On the other hand this was absolutely his last chance to see whales and glaciers like that (certainly to do it with me anyway) and we did it so I am pleased about that.
I feel pretty broken now but maybe it will all have been worth it. I feel terrible that we unknowingly went so many places with Covid but everyone seemed to be coughing on the plane so I am guessing it is still pretty rife out there under the radar. Anyway that’s my holiday story! Sending love to all xx
