Vascular Dementia


New member
Mar 14, 2024
I have lost my wife to a Mental Health Nursing home and will probably never ever see her again.
She had had many mental health problems over the years and more recently had some strokes which meant that she wasn't able to walk safely. Two and a half years ago she was admitted into hospital with a seizure which was quickly followed by a cardiac arrest once she was in hospital. I wasn't allowed to visit her until about four days in by a consultant. I saw her for 4 days, she was not conscious for the first 3 but on the 4th day she was sitting up in bed really happy to see me, asked me to help get her out of the hospital and then suddenly accused her nurse of poisoning her. He then proceeded to say she was psychotic.
That was the last I have seen of her as a safeguarding investigation began, which was instigated by the hospital and she was told to do what they wanted her to do.
This safeguarding investigation took four and a half months to finish. The Health Board just said that there was nothing to act upon and that there were no further safeguarding investigations concerning me. As time has passed by, more false allegations have come out at the Court of Protection.
My wife has been diagnosed with vascular dementia and has permanent brain injury caused by a stroke and is very unlikely to regain Mental Capacity.
I had looked after her through strokes, sleep apnoea episodes with only a bit of help from care agencies and she had been in and out of hospital many times in the three and a half years previous to her being admitted into hospital two and a half years ago. She went through changes in personality after some strokes and there were times I could not recognise her at all as the woman that I had married. I persevered and she recovered enough to say and write down wonderful things about me as her husband but none of this evidence has been looked at by the Court of Protection in two and a half years.
Three months after the proceedings had started at the Court of Protection I discovered that she had been discharged to a Mental Health hospital without me being informed.
She has been under an official Deprivation of her Liberties for well over a year now and no one has been allowed to see or visit her for nearly two and a half years now.
I have done nothing wrong at all while the other parties have been relying off statements made by a woman lacking Mental Capacity under psychosis who is on completely different medications and is clearly nothing like the woman I married. The worst thing is that they say they have been acting in her best interests without talking to people who had been close to her for years. My wife has been condemned to a life isolated from all of her close friends.
I have not been allowed to present my evidence which shows how close my wife and I were before being admitted into that hospital.
I'm doing my best to ensure that the other parties act in her best interests - that's all I can do now.
I have never been spoken to or informed of the events that led to my wife and I not being allowed to communicate with each other which was caused by the safeguarding team.


Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
N Ireland
Hello @MNM, you are welcome here and will get support from fellow forum members.

I'm sorry to learn about this complicated situation and I think it may be a good idea for you to speak to the helpline tomorrow - just follow the link below for details


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @MNM.

I hope you do contact the support line as suggested by @karaokePete in the post above.

How ever much I sympathise with what you have been going through and still are, I don`t have the experience or knowledge to give you advice

I sincerely hope the support line can offer some constructive help.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
This sounds extraordinary to me and just shows the dangers of professionals who do not understand dementia and take things that people with dementia say at face value.


Volunteer Host
Aug 2, 2022
South West UK
Hello @MNM .
Gosh you have been and are going through a lot. This is a very complicated picture of events, which I, neither, have the knowledge to give advice, but please do contact the support line, who I am sure will be able to give you some support with what you are going through.