So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?
- Thread starter Agzy
- Start date
Hope the day care is as good this week as last.
As for the son, maybe a gentle reminder? He's probably thinking he'll only be needed in an emergency but you need his support now.
As for the son, maybe a gentle reminder? He's probably thinking he'll only be needed in an emergency but you need his support now.
Hi @Agzy - you said "Clock is ticking to show and tell time for daycare, gulp 😟"
Taking on help from carers during the day is NOT a bad sign or thing. We are all getting older and thus helping our OH in her care, doing the housework, doing the gardening, doing all the meals, etc all gets a bit harder, takes a bit longer as we are a bit slower, more easily get tired etc.
I looked up various care providing companies online in my area, phoned round to to see what they could do, what training they give their staff carers, what they charge, etc. Then I got three to send round a manager for a chat, assessment (both ways) etc.
I now have two carers (they nearly always need two if any lifting might be involved, including to operate a hoist) calling in three times a day - morning, lunchtime, early evening - for 30 min visits. This started a while ago. Although they are supposed to be here for 30 mins each visit, they have become more efficient and rarely spend more than 20 mins here at a time. I still do the medications, and the feeding. They do personal care, hair, teeth, bathing, toiletting, etc.
Takes a weight off, I can tell you! Yes it costs, but overall I consider it worthwhile so that I don't become a patient, and these home visits are about 25% of what it would cost if my OH went into a care home in my area.
Well worth considering, or in your case gulping!!
Taking on help from carers during the day is NOT a bad sign or thing. We are all getting older and thus helping our OH in her care, doing the housework, doing the gardening, doing all the meals, etc all gets a bit harder, takes a bit longer as we are a bit slower, more easily get tired etc.
I looked up various care providing companies online in my area, phoned round to to see what they could do, what training they give their staff carers, what they charge, etc. Then I got three to send round a manager for a chat, assessment (both ways) etc.
I now have two carers (they nearly always need two if any lifting might be involved, including to operate a hoist) calling in three times a day - morning, lunchtime, early evening - for 30 min visits. This started a while ago. Although they are supposed to be here for 30 mins each visit, they have become more efficient and rarely spend more than 20 mins here at a time. I still do the medications, and the feeding. They do personal care, hair, teeth, bathing, toiletting, etc.
Takes a weight off, I can tell you! Yes it costs, but overall I consider it worthwhile so that I don't become a patient, and these home visits are about 25% of what it would cost if my OH went into a care home in my area.
Well worth considering, or in your case gulping!!
If Pauline needed physical intervention I wouldn’t hesitate to get carers in but physically and in spite of Osteoporosis in her lower spine she doesn’t use a stick and refuses the help of her rollator. The gulp is the emotional responses I get from her when daycare time arrives as she can get very nasty. I know the time is approaching when more care will be needed but I really believe her sons should step up and even research care homes etc as I don’t want accusations of not consulting but sadly they haven’t done so as yet.
A quiet start to the day yesterday and daycare ‘club’ not mentioned until mid morning and then the mantra, “I hate that place.” The usual tensions and silences followed but more sullen than verbally objecting and clearly annoyed when I prepared her packed lunch (she will not eat what they provide) and then time to go time. Once there her coat was taken off and thrown at me and she slammed the car door as hard as she could then stormed in not even waiting to be escorted by a staff member as is usual.
Once I got home my youngest son called in for a much needed chat and then on my way to collect Pauline I called into see my youngest daughter and another much needed chat. At the daycare facility I met the manageress at the door and again she told me of how central Pauline has become in her role as, “mother,” with other clients. She then led me into the big room and yes, Pauline was holding court with a smile and quite literally froze upon seeing me watching her but then made a point of bidding all goodbye and including, “see you next week,” as parting shot.
Yes, she was a bit tetchy on way home but a lot better and more relaxed too So maybe, just maybe, all the insistence has paid off and I know I enjoyed the afternoon doning what I wanted to without worry.
Once I got home my youngest son called in for a much needed chat and then on my way to collect Pauline I called into see my youngest daughter and another much needed chat. At the daycare facility I met the manageress at the door and again she told me of how central Pauline has become in her role as, “mother,” with other clients. She then led me into the big room and yes, Pauline was holding court with a smile and quite literally froze upon seeing me watching her but then made a point of bidding all goodbye and including, “see you next week,” as parting shot.
Yes, she was a bit tetchy on way home but a lot better and more relaxed too So maybe, just maybe, all the insistence has paid off and I know I enjoyed the afternoon doning what I wanted to without worry.
Gosh, sounds really really hard work Agzy, I so admire you sticking with this it must be so upsetting. I am dreading how I introduce extra help/care when the time comes. Am trying to slowly introduce idea of gardening help at the moment (this introduction has been going on fine last Summer).
A beautiful sunny start outside but dark clouds within and all because it is Sunday! Because of her Osteoporosis and to aid bone density and just once a week, she has to take a single tablet along with a pint of water and nothing else for 30 minutes. Simple and straightforward for most but not Pauline as she takes it as a major imposition with complaints and questions galore but eventually accepts it all as;
a). the doctor ordered it and, b). the only way to get out of it is to see the doctor and ask him; at least that is what I tell her and so blame is shifted to her GP 😂.
The biggest medical imposition for us is twice a week and last night was one of them in that she has to have a vaginal insertion of Oestrogen cream at bedtime and, although more often or not she manages to do it with just my supervision, sometimes I have to do it for her and it mortifies her and me. I have explained the issues to her GP but it seems there is no alternative and it is to reduce chances of having a UTI and indeed little sympathy for how it is perceived and how it distresses her.
At least the sun is shining so bedding once washed can have a good airing.
a). the doctor ordered it and, b). the only way to get out of it is to see the doctor and ask him; at least that is what I tell her and so blame is shifted to her GP 😂.
The biggest medical imposition for us is twice a week and last night was one of them in that she has to have a vaginal insertion of Oestrogen cream at bedtime and, although more often or not she manages to do it with just my supervision, sometimes I have to do it for her and it mortifies her and me. I have explained the issues to her GP but it seems there is no alternative and it is to reduce chances of having a UTI and indeed little sympathy for how it is perceived and how it distresses her.
At least the sun is shining so bedding once washed can have a good airing.
Hopefully the sun will last long enough for a morning cuppa in the garden, or a favourite cafe to cheer her up? It’s lovely here but unfortunately sun not forecast to last long, I’m hoping the weather man has got it wrong…..
Hi @Agzy
Maybe have a word with the Dr or pharmacist at the GP surgery about the osteoporosis tablet. My wife used to have what Pauline has, but it wasn't really working for her (as in early d days she'd forget it altogether), so we've changed to a calcium supplement tablet - chewable - and I put in my OH's breakfast cereal (along with her other pills) so she doesn't really notice it (them). Just a thought.
Best wishes.
There’s quite a lot of debate on another forum I am on regarding these tablets. Has Pauline had a Dexa scan? That will show how her bones are. Often folk are prescribed these pills when the scans show the bones aren’t all that bad ….and as others have said you can also get a 6 monthly injection as an alternative
I phoned the Royal Osteoporosis Nurse helpline which gave me a good summary of the options.
I phoned the Royal Osteoporosis Nurse helpline which gave me a good summary of the options.
Hi again @sdmhred and @Agzy
I appreciate that as a non-medic I might not be up-to-date with current medical views on the subject, but....
When my OH had her first hip replacement op about 20 or 21 years ago, we were told that due to her damaged immunity system she was osteopenic. I remember the surgeon recommending soft blue cheese to be included regularly in my OH's diet as an aid to bone regrowth. (She was also prescribe a pill for this too.) After trying a few, my wife settled on St Augur cheese and has had it on and offer ever since. Maybe worth asking about.
I appreciate that as a non-medic I might not be up-to-date with current medical views on the subject, but....
When my OH had her first hip replacement op about 20 or 21 years ago, we were told that due to her damaged immunity system she was osteopenic. I remember the surgeon recommending soft blue cheese to be included regularly in my OH's diet as an aid to bone regrowth. (She was also prescribe a pill for this too.) After trying a few, my wife settled on St Augur cheese and has had it on and offer ever since. Maybe worth asking about.
Thanks @Chizz she has the chewable one as well and doesn’t seem to mind it but lately she has taken to asking what each pill and tablet in the blister pot is for and seems to see all as an imposition and not needed 😁
Pauline used to have an amazing collection of paperbacks from Catherine Cookson to Marina Cole but her favourite read is without doubt her weekly TV magazine, always has been and still is. I buy it on a Tuesday morning and she is constantly looking at it and occasionally asking me to record programmes even though they are already lined up. Once recorded she knows her way to the ‘My Shows’ button on the remote but sadly other buttons are becoming more difficult for her and yesterday she got in a right tiz. When I checked, it turned out she can’t remember what the individual buttons are to tap in individual channels and so I have made a big stick-it taped down with the numbers for BBC, ITV 1,2,3,4, Drama and Alibi.
Small change in the grand scheme of things but for her a massive milestone of decline. So sad.
Small change in the grand scheme of things but for her a massive milestone of decline. So sad.
I use to take the tablets but had side effects from them. I now have a six monthly injection into the belly fat and I don’t even feel it. My latest bone density scan showed some improvement which was great. The injection is called Prolia and once started, you need to keep using it.
My bone density clinic do not recommend the use of calcium tablets at all as calcium contributes to the build up of plaque in the arteries. I still take Vitamin D. Even though I do not use a calcium supplement, I am doing well in the Prolia alone.
We have an appointment with practice nurse tomorrow and will mention that as an option, thank you.
