Overnight carers instead of respite

[ShivyDevon]

Would local authority consider funding 3 nights of overnight carers without my mum there instead of 2 weeks respite?

My dad has vascular dementia (he's 77 and was diagnosed 13 years ago). Over the past 4 years he's got worse and the past year he has rarely slept a full night. This means my mum also doesn't get a full night's sleep as she is disturbed by him, he leaks in the bed (pants can only hold so much), he wonders, has slipped off chairs overnight and cannot get up etc.

Mum has had 2 periods (4 weeks in 12 months) of respite funded by the Local authority but unfortunately it gave her more stress than respite. She was a state whilst he was there as the care wasn't great and it took a long time to get him settled and back into a routine afterwards. After the second time, she has said she can't do it again.

I would like mum to either visit me (I am 250miles away) or take her away for a few nights just to give her a break and an opportunity to have a few nights sleep. I'm planning to arrange for a family member to stay at their home to sit with dad but they wouldn't do the personal care etc. Dad has 1 carer a day at the moment so just wondering if the LA would be likely to pay for overnight carers for 3 nights and increase the daytime carers for a few days to enable mum to have a break.

We can't afford it from a self funding point of view and mum point blank refuses respite care after her experience. I'm just worried she won't get a break until he dies ☹️

Many thanks for anyone with any experience.

 

[sdmhred]

Others will know more …but if respite payments can be made by direct payment does that give you freedom to spend as you wish such as u describe???

 

[ShivyDevon]

Gosh I've no idea....is that even a thing as in LA pay you to arrange and pay someone else?

 

[sdmhred]

Yes it is definitely used …but I am not sure if for respite - but you can ask…or others may know…

 

[Rayreadynow]

I thought the LA would only pay for day care.

 

[SeaSwallow]

I do not know the answer to your question @ShivyDevon but it would be worth approaching the local authority.

 

[ChaceSoto]

As far as I know, the local authority might be open to paying for overnight carers for a few nights instead of respite care if you can show that it's a better option for your dad and gives your mum the break she needs.

 

[ShivyDevon]

As far as I know, the local authority might be open to paying for overnight carers for a few nights instead of respite care if you can show that it's a better option for your dad and gives your mum the break she needs.

Thanks. I think its more about my mum than my dad but I think would be best for both of them.

 

[nita]

My mother had a chronic pain condition which seemed to be exacerbated by her having Alzheimer's. At one point she was not sleeping in the night and crying out for help so I didn't get much sleep. As she was LA funded they agreed to pay for, I think, 3 nights for a waking carer instead of care during the day which I managed. This was for a carer sitting with her between 10 pm and 8 am in the morning. It didn't help that much as I slept in the room above where she was.

As they will only fund up to a certain level, you will have to weigh up whether sacrificing the day care is worth it. In my mother's case, she became bedbound and had increased need for a double care visit 4 times a day. Fortunately, by that point she slept through the night and in fact was sleeping a lot of the time though she did still need attention when she was in pain.

When I broke my shoulder at the end of 2012 we paid for a night carer for 4 nights a week to make up the balance. Sometimes, they let us down and just didn't arrive.

Sorry - I just realised you had respite which you would be giving up. I personally think ongoing regular help could be more important than a one-off long break.

 

[maisiecat]

Overnight waking carers is one of the main reasons my husband is in a Nursing Home. While not too bad in the day he is up most of the night and can be very agitated and aggressive.
Our LA said that overnight waking carers would be more expensive than a Nursing Home placement and would leave my husband with no day time care.
I have heard of LA allocating money for people to create their own care package but that has only been for long term care

 

[ShivyDevon]

Thanks @nita and @maisiecat for your replies.

My mum has 1 carer coming in during daytime ar the moment which at the moment is manageable when she's around but would be a bigger ask for family members over than time.

What my mum needs for a period of 3 nights/4 days is overnight carers and 2-3 daytime visits. This would be instead of 14nights respite care in a carehome. I am not sure what the costs are but i can't imagine the former would be more expensive than the latter but perhaps I'm wrong.

I think this may be a one off as my dad is taking a downward turn and has this week forgotten who my mum is which has hit her hard 😔 I'm not sure it will be long before he needs to go into a care home more permanently but my mum isn't quite there yet.

Thanks again
Siobhan

 

[maisiecat]

Hi @ShivyDevon, I live in a massively expensive area of the country but have done a quick ball park calculation and I think the costs would be equal or less.
As its just for respite I think you have a good chance of getting a positive decision.
Best of luck

 

[ChaceSoto]

My mother had a chronic pain condition which seemed to be exacerbated by her having Alzheimer's. At one point she was not sleeping in the night and crying out for help so I didn't get much sleep. As she was LA funded they agreed to pay for, I think, 3 nights for a waking carer instead of care during the day which I managed. This was for a carer sitting with her between 10 pm and 8 am in the morning. It didn't help that much as I slept in the room above where she was.

As they will only fund up to a certain level, you will have to weigh up whether sacrificing the day care is worth it. In my mother's case, she became bedbound and had increased need for a double care visit 4 times a day. Fortunately, by that point she slept through the night and in fact was sleeping a lot of the time though she did still need attention when she was in pain.

When I broke my shoulder at the end of 2012 we paid for a night carer for 4 nights a week to make up the balance. Sometimes, they let us down and just didn't arrive.

Sorry - I just realised you had respite which you would be giving up. I personally think ongoing regular help could be more important than a one-off long break.

That's really bad that they just didn't arrive. Did they provide you with an explanation for why they didn't show up?

 

[nita]

They didn't have the staff. Sometimes we didn't know - they just didn't come. This was a long time ago now - my mother died at Christmas, 2016.