Nursing home screening questions???

[Sarasa]

I I too have never heard of a sliding scale as such and I think that alone would tend to make me rule that place out. I know the home my mother in law was in kept on saying they might have to charge more as mil's needs increased, but in the end they never did so. That was a small, very friendly home. However I think if mil had been aggressive to other residents, rather than getting distressed with personal care, she would have been asked to leave as they prided themselves on their calm atmosphere.
My mother's home had an all-inclusive fee so no extras like hairdressing or trips out were charged for. I did have to provide incontinence wear though. Her previous home charged quite a bit for extras and the fees were well north of £2,000 a month when she moved out of there two years ago.

 

[maisiecat]

My husband's home is a dementia nursing home. The residents who are partly continent are toileted on a regular schedule and the incontinent residents changed.
Toiletries are locked in their rooms as yes apparantly they get drunk by some residents.
My husband is a wanderer and is in a modern home with long corridors so they can wander at will. There are sitting stations for them to rest.
My husband has challenging behaviour and can be aggressive but they manage him very well.
I think it comes down to what feels right to you,definitely visit unannounced and have a look at weekends usually when staffing is lower.
Good luck

 

[sdmhred]

Things have moved on here…..mum has struggled more this week and put herself on the floor again 😩 She took the carer almost an hour to get off ththe commode this am. Bless her the staff didn’t want to leave until it was sorted - she’d be better off where they could leave her for 5 mins and then come back and try again etc … I also don’t have the space and equipment to transfer her when she gets in a panic. We’ve decided on some respite whilst we look for somewhere permanent.

i went today to check out a place I had liked on paper. The staff were friendly and seemed to have a good rapport with each other and the residents. I did feel that we could work together and they ‘got’ the things I was asking. Apart from her physical health condition which no-one has heard of but the nurse did reply with she would have to train her colleagues….

There was a mix of folk in chairs, bed and in a group room. There was a separate TV quiet lounge.

the building is an old manor building - lovely garden but a bit rickety…..clean and not smelly though

I called to see another on the way home but that room had gone from yesterday.

They are coming out to see mum tomorrow and we will go from there.

I did like that it felt quiet and homely - if a bit rickety - but as I walked round I heard everyone in my head say ignore the deco….look at the care 🙈🙈

Mum has Said in the last few days she needs more help so seems open to going - I don’t think she fully gets what that means

Heartbreaking tho

 

[SeaSwallow]

@sdmhred Respite sounds like a good idea while you make a final decision. It is always difficult finding the right place for our loved ones. Even though it is a bit ‘rickety’ the care home seems to be a good fit for you and your mum. The main thing is the level of care for the residents and it does sound like a caring place. It’s still not an easy decision to make though.

 

[sdmhred]

Thanks @SeaSwallow

Starting this thread has actually been quite helpful in reflecting what would suit mum. At present she just needs somewhere with good basic care. She’s past participating in most activities but would enjoy sitting and watching others.

Picking up all the wisdom from here over time has been invaluable.

Dementia is so bizarre. My head hurts that mum can’t process how to stand up and walk when she’s stressed - but is still able to vocalise coherently she needs more help and wants me to not to have to always care - although ironically when I first moved in with her she was adamant she needed no help!

 

[SeaSwallow]

Sometimes it’s just so hard to understand how our loved ones perceive the world, all we can do is try.

 

[sdmhred]

We’ve had our assessment which went well. I got on with the clinical lead. She was personable and although had a list to get through didn’t present it like a ‘tick list’. Mum thought she was fine too.

They have a lot of queries re mum’s rare health condition but I am pleased they are asking now rather than just taking her on and then not knowing what they are doing.

Next step is for the physical health stuff to be sorted on Monday. The GP is pretty useless so I will most likely prepare some info for her to ‘sign off’.

they’ve said a provisional yes if we can get that sorted satisfactorily.

Mum is accepting. She thinks at points I am going too so we have said I am moving to the slightly younger unit down the road 🙈🙈 it doesn’t have a lift so mum can’t come to mine - but I can visit hers any time - which of course is true!