Is it always this hard?

[SeaSwallow]

Well done @Purple rain 50 Have a lovely time with your son, making some good memories.

 

[Purple rain 50]

Well done @Purple rain 50 Have a lovely time with your son, making some good memories.

Day 1 - bike ride after parents evening!

 

[McSuffolk]

💓@Purple rain 50
It’s such a massive hurdle, that first leap, so well done you. Enjoy the quality time with your son, you never get that time back and they need you more than ever as they grow up.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Thank you for sharing the photos @Purple rain 50 I hope that you have more days like that one.,

 

[jugglingmum]

So pleased you got out on a bike ride.

Hope parents night went ok

 

[Purple rain 50]

To be honest it’s been a seriously traumatic day - mum has rung 35 times (I’ve answered about 5) & numerous texts begging me to let her go home.

I rang Alzheimer’s Soc. helpline & had a cry & told them I think her anxiety levels run deeper than dementia. I think she needs psychiatric help!

They were great & gave me some useful numbers / talked about Continuing Health Care. Also left a message for mum’s consultant to call me & rang Adult Social Care. All the calls I can’t make with mum listening!

Having a G&T now 🥴

 

[adr1]

To be honest it’s been a seriously traumatic day - mum has rung 35 times (I’ve answered about 5) & numerous texts begging me to let her go home.

I rang Alzheimer’s Soc. helpline & had a cry & told them I think her anxiety levels run deeper than dementia. I think she needs psychiatric help!

They were great & gave me some useful numbers / talked about Continuing Health Care. Also left a message for mum’s consultant to call me & rang Adult Social Care. All the calls I can’t make with mum listening!

Having a G&T now 🥴

Enjoy your G&T, mum is being looked after x

 

[jugglingmum]

Please don't answer your phone.

Mum is being looked after and needs to transfer her anxiety to the care home staff.

You won't get the rest you need if you keep speaking to her.

 

[Purple rain 50]

Please don't answer your phone.

Mum is being looked after and needs to transfer her anxiety to the care home staff.

You won't get the rest you need if you keep speaking to her.

Yes it is defeating the object ever so slightly 🤯🤦🏻‍♀️!
Will try harder tomorrow!
Thanks all & good night (early one for me!)

 

[Firecatcher]

First of all well done on getting your Mum into respite for two weeks. You really do need to make sure you have a break and spend quality time with your son. As others have said you need to stop answering the phone calls otherwise it’s not going to feel like time off. Put your phone on silent or block your Mum’s number for long periods during the day. You answering her calls will simply reward the behaviour and maintain it.

 

[DollyM1]

Our landline phone is unplugged overnight so that dad, if he rings, can’t disturb us. We both have mobile phones so, in an emergency we are contactable and dad doesn’t have those numbers. Seems harsh but as he is in a home I don’t have to be on call.

 

[Purple rain 50]

A much better day today 😅
Spoke to mum this morning & then blocked her nr. She tricked me & called me from the home at lunchtime. Unblocked her & just 3 calls this evening but I can live with that if it makes her feel a bit better!

Chilled day today (me working & the boy vegging), cafe for lunch & two short bike rides.

Tickets booked to watch ice hockey tomorrow night ⛸️🏒🥅

 

[SeaSwallow]

That all sounds really good.

 

[Firecatcher]

That sounds a lot better than it was and if you feel that’s manageable than fine. I actually think it was really bad of the home to allow your Mum to ring you from their number and maybe putting some boundaries in place might not be such a bad thing. You might not have another period of respite for a long time so you need to make the most of this very short period. I’m constantly amazed that some staff in homes really don’t grasp the concept that respite for the carer should be a complete break and not about continuing to fulfil the wants of the PWD. I’m sure they could distract your Mum from phoning.

 

[jay6]

Glad you had a better day yesterday @Purple rain 50 hope today has been even better, you deserve the break. Pity weather isn't better for you and your son. Enjoy the quality time with your son.

 

[Purple rain 50]

Thanks all! Yesterday was amazing - no phone calls at all & nothing today so far!

Mums brother & sister came up to visit today & some old neighbours also visited her in the afternoon. All reported back that she was fine (although she did try to get her brother to break her out)

Taking dad (they’ve been separated 30+ years) out for a birthday lunch today (only a month late 🤦🏻‍♀️) & hopefully a walk on the beach after as sun is shining today 🌞

 

[SeaSwallow]

That all sounds positive. Enjoy the birthday lunch with your dad. Isn’t it great to see the sun.

 

[jugglingmum]

Enjoy your dad's birthday lunch and hope half term weather is good

 

[Firecatcher]

Thanks all! Yesterday was amazing - no phone calls at all & nothing today so far!

Mums brother & sister came up to visit today & some old neighbours also visited her in the afternoon. All reported back that she was fine (although she did try to get her brother to break her out)

Taking dad (they’ve been separated 30+ years) out for a birthday lunch today (only a month late 🤦🏻‍♀️) & hopefully a walk on the beach after as sun is shining today 🌞

Have a lovely lunch with your Dad and make the most of the half term break with your son.

 

[canary]

Im so glad to hear that things are settling down. It must be such a relief