its taken a while them to refer your mum to the continence clinic. especially as they have been using others. that would mean the others will be short by the time they get delivered. those drinks do have a lot of calories packed into them. at least they are changing them and giving her the drinks. sometimes i think its better the devil you know.
'If I get like that, put me in a home'
- Thread starter Sarasa
- Start date
Not much has happened in the last couple of months. Mum seems quite cheerful when I see her, and now the staff are getting her out of bed each day seems a lot better than she did last year. She still doesn't make a lot of sense, but shortly after I arrived she spilled her drink and said 'oh dear look what I've done', which was the most appropriate thing I've heard her say for a while.
Apparently the continence clinic have been to visit mum, but I don't know what they said, and no one else seemed to know either.
Apparently the continence clinic have been to visit mum, but I don't know what they said, and no one else seemed to know either.
It sounds like your mum is holding her own for now.
It is an unpredictable journey and deterioration.
It's good that the care home is getting her out of bed.
I did find mum's care home didn't communicate with me on everything I would have liked but in total I had no issues with her care at any time I visited so didn't push for more
communication.
It is an unpredictable journey and deterioration.
It's good that the care home is getting her out of bed.
I did find mum's care home didn't communicate with me on everything I would have liked but in total I had no issues with her care at any time I visited so didn't push for more
communication.
Mum has been in her current home for just over two years now. Having had my doubts about it, things seem to have improved a lot under the last two managers. I hope this one is going to stay. She seems very pro-active and if I mention problems things get sorted. She's also trying to reach out to the local community so has just started various events to which anyone is welcome. Today they were having an over 65's lunch for instance.
Mum herself was looking good and though she is now pretty much late stage managed to say I love you when I gave her a hug and said I loved her as I was leaving. The means a lot.
Mum herself was looking good and though she is now pretty much late stage managed to say I love you when I gave her a hug and said I loved her as I was leaving. The means a lot.
a lot of homes are linking with schools as well. i think anything that leads to different things going on is good. precious moment.
As you may have seen in my mum's not well thread mum died last week. She was 95 and had advanced dementia.
At the moment things haven't really sunk in, even though my brother came up on Saturday and we visited the care home to sort out her room. They were great, really sympathetic and happy to clear the room after we'd taken the things that we wanted. Mum had been in care for four and a half years so, apart from photos, there were very few things we wanted to take. I do have a loft full of stuff from when we cleared her flat, which I guess I ought to go through sometime.
At the moment everything is in limbo as no one has contacted me about registering her death. I'm calling in at the home tomorrow so maybe they can point me in the right direction to get things moving, or maybe I am being impatient.
At the moment things haven't really sunk in, even though my brother came up on Saturday and we visited the care home to sort out her room. They were great, really sympathetic and happy to clear the room after we'd taken the things that we wanted. Mum had been in care for four and a half years so, apart from photos, there were very few things we wanted to take. I do have a loft full of stuff from when we cleared her flat, which I guess I ought to go through sometime.
At the moment everything is in limbo as no one has contacted me about registering her death. I'm calling in at the home tomorrow so maybe they can point me in the right direction to get things moving, or maybe I am being impatient.
Have you got the death certificate?If so I think you can call the register office and make an appointment to register the death.That was the procedure when my parents died.
When my mum died I had to book a slot with the registrar. I also had to chase to get GP to issue paperwork to registrar.
I booked appt on line and then had to move it as GP was unavailable which I wasn't told initially.
I phoned GP direct to get paperwork, GP called back and discussed cause of death to go on death cert which she sent electronically to registrar.
I had to take a seperate piece of paperwork from registrar to undertakers which authorised cremation.
Mum died late on Friday and we spoke with undertakers Sat who then went on line and booked crem slot. We didn't know she'd done this until I spoke to our allocated chap on the Monday. Due to holiday plans if we hadn't got funeral booked there and then there would have been an additional 5 week delay.
I booked appt on line and then had to move it as GP was unavailable which I wasn't told initially.
I phoned GP direct to get paperwork, GP called back and discussed cause of death to go on death cert which she sent electronically to registrar.
I had to take a seperate piece of paperwork from registrar to undertakers which authorised cremation.
Mum died late on Friday and we spoke with undertakers Sat who then went on line and booked crem slot. We didn't know she'd done this until I spoke to our allocated chap on the Monday. Due to holiday plans if we hadn't got funeral booked there and then there would have been an additional 5 week delay.
@Sarasa I know what you mean about things not sinking in to begin with.
Are you aware of the Tell Us Once Service?
www.bereavementadvice.org
Are you aware of the Tell Us Once Service?
Bereavement Advice Centre | The Tell Us Once Service | How it Works
The ‘Tell Us Once’ service allows you to inform central and local government services of the death all at one time. The services works on behalf of the DWP.
Thanks everyone. Things are finally moving forward as I'm registering the death on Tuesday and then heading off to the funeral directors.
I remember hearing about the Tell Us One service on hear, and apparently they will help me get that sorted at the appointment.
I remember hearing about the Tell Us One service on hear, and apparently they will help me get that sorted at the appointment.
@Sarasa The registrar will give you a code and you can go online and do it. From recollection following my husband’s death it was straightforward and it notifies quite a few people although you will have to notify any pension providers or financial institutions.
When my husband died a friend gave me , writing paper, a pen, large envelopes and stamps instead of flowers…..absolutely brilliant of her
When my husband died a friend gave me , writing paper, a pen, large envelopes and stamps instead of flowers…..absolutely brilliant of her
Mum's death was registered yesterday. I had a long chat to the registrar about dementia and it sounded like she could have done with this site when trying to help her own mum. I notified the bank with most of mum's money in it on the way to the Funeral Directors. The funeral is set for the 10th November and I'm gradually letting people know, I'm expecting the celebrant to phone me soon so we can organise the service.
I came home registered the death with Tell us Once and started contacting various people about the funeral arrangements.
Things are slowly falling into place.
I came home registered the death with Tell us Once and started contacting various people about the funeral arrangements.
Things are slowly falling into place.
Hi @Sarasa and @canary , my thoughts exactly re the cruise - it’s been cancelled, the cruise line’s fault, not yours. It may be possible to go another time, they will let you know…. xxHi @Sarasa
It been a roller coaster for you but it does sound like your mum is beginning to settle
I hope your brother is OK with the treatment.
But you wont be cancelling the cruise will you? Theres been a problem with the ship, so its been delayed...........
Well the funeral is booked and I'm seeing the celebrant on Thursday to sort out a service. Unlike me, mum wasn't religious, so going for a totally secular service. I also saw a solicitor today to get things moving regarding probate etc. It should all be quite straight forward and I could do it myself, but I'm worried I'd miss something vital, so I'd rather someone else do it.
While sorting out pictures for a slide show at the funeral I cam across these photos of mum aged 14 and 30. I find it helpful to remember she wasn't always an elderly woman with advanced dementia.
While sorting out pictures for a slide show at the funeral I cam across these photos of mum aged 14 and 30. I find it helpful to remember she wasn't always an elderly woman with advanced dementia.
Glad you've got it all sorted.
Nice photos. I found it helped remembering mum from a younger age, in particular photos from my own childhood.
Nice photos. I found it helped remembering mum from a younger age, in particular photos from my own childhood.
