Provided I don't speak on a matter which can cause a reaction, life is 'calmish'. I have to think before I speak, but experience reminds me that small variations of conversation can produce a fierce response. I have built up a memory of words or statements that break the peace.
I have to think before I speak.
- Thread starter Chris100
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Yes it’s difficult when you have to watch what you say, it’s like walking on eggshells. The slightest thing can set my husband off on one.
I am afraid that I don’t always follow the rules but then, that’s nothing new from me.
Because he was high functioning, my husband was quite manipulative and I found that tip toeing around him was very frustrating. I worked out when he was just being controlling, and then I would say what I felt. I consider that sort of manipulative and controlling behaviour is a form of bullying which I will not tolerate. He doesn’t like it if I get cross and has mediated his behaviour.
Mostly, I work on just using a conversational tone which is pretty neutral and doesn’t antagonise him.
I think that if a person with dementia can control their behaviour when around others such as in hostess mode then they can mostly choose when to be difficult and when to back off.
I`m with you Lawson58. When OH raises his voice to me I tell him that I can shout louder and longer than he ever will and he quickly backs down.
There nothing worse than being tightlipped all the time. You can’t keep bottling that stuff forever without it exploding somewhere later down the track.
