Hi
@LoiM and welcome to the Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your situation. My wife and I had 37 years together before her permanent admission to a care home. That was difficult but I have learned that living apart does not mean that we are no longer a couple. She has been in her home for 5 years now. Before the pandemic I visited 4 times a week but now - after a long period of no or limited visiting - I find that 2 times a week is sufficient for both of us. In part that is because her dementia is advanced but it is also because I can see that she is settled and content. When not visiting I have put back together the pieces of my own life that were shattered by her dementia. It is a lot different from having her here, but with the help of friends and my dog I have made the best of my life as a singleton.
I do hope that you can find a way of getting to a situation where life is tolerable and not always. focused on the hole that has been left by his absence. Here on the Forum there are many people who will help you when things feel tough. Reach out for our support and understanding whenever you need it. That is what helped and continues to help me.