It is very difficult. Can you talk with your Mum alone and suggest she chooses two people who "could" help her with finances "when the need arises"? It doesn't mean anyone will take over until such time it is needed. The "donor", being the person who needs support still has the chance to with with the "attorney" who will be working on her behalf. Any point in talkin to a solicitor with her while she still can?
I have set it up for my hubby and am asking my daughter to do it for me too, although my needs at the moment are more physical legwork.
Thank you for taking the time to answer, with your sound advice.
I will try a conversation with mum.
But my main issue at the moment is, my mum only has a joint bank account with my stepdad (although he doesn't use it at all).
In July mum went into the bank and asked them to take stepdads name off the joint account, as she wanted it to be just hers.
But he found out and went back and told them to put his name back on (that's the story I've been told by them both)
Stepdad has always been secretive about his finances, he is very private - past experiences with his Grandmother & mothers Wills & finances, have made him suspicious of anyone other than himself sorting his finances. Consequently, he hasn't made a will, and last week he told me, he doesn't want any family named as their executor of will. They are looking at having a neighbour - very upsetting asit makes me feel like I'm not trusted.
To add more problems, my stepdad has a son (illegitimate, from an affaire, before mum married him), who he hasn't seen or spoken to in 30 years, sons choice.
He turned up yesterday asking to meet & talk to dad. My mum doesn't like him, as in the past the son has wanted money.
If my my mum was on her own it would be much easier, but as stepdad is nok I have no authority.
I am going to speak to mum's CPN to see if she can advise me.