Carers and keys

[Dinny]

Moms has Alzheimer’s and has had carers for over 6 months now ; she was recently in respite for 4 weeks then a month later for 2 weeks so I could take a holiday but since she’s been home last Thursday although couldn’t remember having carers
They visit 4 times a day via a key safe - they feed water and give her medicines etc and usually the same team over a few days and chat with her too-
Moms refusing help with dressing and cleaning but that was the same before but now saying repeatedly
These carers are taking my keys and locking me in my own home
I’ve told her she has her own keys and found them (has a tile fitted) then straight away says I need to hide them from the carers so they don’t lock me in - we’ve gone round in circles on Sunday and again today - I know she will hide them again and forget where til I go and find them again
She also says I don’t want to go back to that place (the respite) or have carers I’d rather die - I just recovered from illness due to her care but now already stressed to the hill again
Does anyone have any ideas as there is no reasoning at all - personally I think she needs full time care but rest of family fighting against me but they don’t see her like I do 😢

 

[Kevinl]

In a word no, you have to learn to live in their world when they can no longer live in ours.
Sounds to me like you're making the best of a bad job but it is what it is.
First 10 years are the worst, wife and mum for me and in answer to the question you ask "no there is no reasoning at all".
Please put your own health first, I have children not making carers for me, put yourself first for a change and say so. K

 

[Dinny]

Moms has Alzheimer’s and has had carers for over 6 months now ; she was recently in respite for 4 weeks then a month later for 2 weeks so I could take a holiday but since she’s been home last Thursday although couldn’t remember having carers
They visit 4 times a day via a key safe - they feed water and give her medicines etc and usually the same team over a few days and chat with her too-
Moms refusing help with dressing and cleaning but that was the same before but now saying repeatedly
These carers are taking my keys and locking me in my own home
I’ve told her she has her own keys and found them (has a tile fitted) then straight away says I need to hide them from the carers so they don’t lock me in - we’ve gone round in circles on Sunday and again today - I know she will hide them again and forget where til I go and find them again
She also says I don’t want to go back to that place (the respite) or have carers I’d rather die - I just recovered from illness due to her care but now already stressed to the hill again
Does anyone have any ideas as there is no reasoning at all - personally I think she needs full time care but rest of family fighting against me but they don’t see her like I do 😢

My mother took the carers keys off her today saying she doesn’t want to be locked in her own home - I went round later to source both sets of keys and returned to key safe - mom kept say8ng she can look after herself do her own meals medication and drinks etc but I know she really can’t she would overdose of meds and not what food properly or even get enough to drink - was horrible trying to explain as I knew she was blank with expression and didn’t understand or even remember she has had carers for over 6 months now - I tried comforting her holding her hand etc but she still remained agitated
Many advice would be very Grateful