Blog Comments

  1. chana's Avatar
    i had a favorite uncle once i adored. he was my moms younger brother. if it were up to me id have seen him everyday.all my friennds liked him and my aunt. hes gone now. sure i wish i saw him more, but its not the amt of visits, but the quality of sound like me--you love your uncle, but hjes so far. dont be guilty. take the time you have and use it. thats quality me its not the amount of time , but the mom died 6 months ago from alzeimers and this favorite uncle of mine died at 57 from a heart attack. i have no parents left. my dad died from cancer 18 years ago.all my aunts and uncles, grandparents are all gone. i didnt see them every day, but when i did it was the quality of the visit.all of that stays with me in my heart.sure theyre gone, but can anyone change whats in the heart?!
  2. Jerrie's Avatar
    No, it's not.
  3. Jancis's Avatar
    To be honest with you Deborah I think I'm doing this for me rather than my uncle's friends. Does that sound even more weird?
  4. DeborahBlythe's Avatar
    Kind of you to contact all your uncle's friends, Jancis.
  5. tinkerbell2011's Avatar
    I think men believe to show emotion or need as a weakness and are afraid to show it.
    where as I believe it is a strength to say ' I'm having a problem and I do'nt know what to do'
    Hence men will rarely ask for directions on a journey no matter how lost they are.
    As he has confided this little bit with you shows a deal of trust and respect.,but do you want to take on someone elses problems could it cause problems in your work relationship.

    Good luck
  6. tinkerbell2011's Avatar
    i think the young generation think the older genration are so beyond them. They cannot conceive that in the end we all get old ( if we are lucky)
    but feel they themselves are exempt. Rude awakening due.

    Survival of self is a strong emotion . Women particularly are socialised to be 'caring ' the worst a woman can be called is selfish ' when in reality She has the same right to her own life , feelings and owning her own furue . Who designated women as the sole carers in society anyway.

    Life is never fair we dont get rewards for being 'Good' Life instead is unfair and the best any of us can do is to make the best of the hand of cards we are delt.

    With the best will in the world there are some issues we cannot put right . Iseem to have spent a lifetime trying to do just that unable to accept some things cannot be improved , when frequently they could not. How frustrating and stressing. .
    i dont have the answers either but empathise with the emotions generated.

  7. SmithL's Avatar
    That was really terrible. 93 people were deceased in two separate horror strikes in Norway. He surrendered after the strikes and is now in law enforcement custody. The attacks, the suspect promises, were to warn Europe of a Muslim takeover. Here is the proof: [URL=""]Norway massacre suspect wants to be heard[/URL].
  8. nellbelles's Avatar
    Just proves that us youngsters that we don't know it all.

    It does seem a shame that a man with such a brain has isolated himself, but then again, having such insight to the dark side of the world may influence that isolation.
  9. Tender Face's Avatar
    Dear Jancis, don’t often read blogs, let alone comment. I know I went ‘through the motions’ of putting mum (and dad’s) home on the market when I finally had to – and was fine with it all (just paperwork :rolleyes:) ... until I got an ‘offer’ and it was being sold. :( ‘Only bricks and mortar’ – I think not. Take care, love Karen, x

    PS: Yes, I saw the herd .... strange to see blue pigs, huh? Flying as well???? I never!!!!!
  10. rosaliesal's Avatar
    Short term memory loss does not mean everything experienced is lost immediately. Mum has had Alzheimers for 14 years yet coming out of one room to meet me at the day care centre she stopped, thought and said "I have got to go back to the other room because I have left some things behind in there". True enough there was a chocolate egg given to her by the staff for Easter and two cardigans. One of the cardigans she explained then "I left behind last time I came". I was gobsmacked, she remembered there was another room, she remembered where it was, she remembered to collect her things, she remembered her cardigan had been left behind on another occasion. So never assume someone with Alzheimers has no recollection at all.
  11. Haylett's Avatar
    Lovely, Jancis. And a timely reminder, never, ever to give up. Your uncle obviously got such a lot of pleasure from the flowers. There are so many more ways to communicate than just words aren't there? Hx
  12. rosaliesal's Avatar
    That is the one good thing about Alzheimers...not remembering includes the bad things. My mum had the face of a hurt child yesterday when my husband and I set off to see a show at the theatre. We have always taken her but she has been having frequent dizzy spells and is unable to walk now without me worrying she may collapse. We have taken her in the car to the New Forest to sit by the lake and visit the pub nearby and to some beautiful gardens to sit in the garden, not walk around it. These theatre tickets were a gift for mothers day but it was no use explaining because she will not understand, nor react any differently. When we returned home our daughter greeted us and the moment she asked if we had enjoyed the show mum sulked and did not speak but turned her head away. However, despite her inability to speak very much these days, she loves our dog and talks to him all of the time, repeating that she loves him. Dogs are such beautiful creatures and give so much love and there is no fear that they would notice errors in conversation.
  13. Grannie G's Avatar
    Good news Jancis . I hope you will share this news with the Forum. xx
  14. JPG1's Avatar
    Wonderful news indeed, Jancis! I hope you had a good night's sleep - and that things are on the up from here on, for your Uncle and for you.

    Well done, after all the struggles you've had to go through.
  15. piedwarbler's Avatar
    Well I'm pleased, can you spot anything that has been different? I
    Hope it lasts.
  16. Christin's Avatar
    Hello Jancis. I have to say that we also have some upturns. Memories that we think are gone occasionally resurface. We have been told that this can be due to fragmentation. To be honest I'm not sure that anyone knows what it going on. All I can say is enjoy the good days Life is full of surprises. Sadly though, in our case, good days can be followed by bad but we have learnt to take the good with the bad (although I still need a good whinge now and again) Very best wishes to you xx
  17. JPG1's Avatar
    [QUOTE]I am tired and frustrated by my own stupidity and ignorance[/QUOTE]

    The stupidity and ignorance are not [B]yours[/B], Janicis. You - we all??? - are being constantly worn out, exhausted and frustrated by the stupidity and ignorance of others.

    I have today received a letter from a "Chief Information Officer", apologising for the inaccurate, misleading and downright stupidly ignorant (those last three words are my words, not his!!) information given to me 3 months ago now by ... the "Corporate Director of Adult Social Services". :confused:

    Now, who is it that is confused?

    We hear about dementia causing extreme confusion in the sufferer, but people seldom mention/discuss/relate to the total, absolute (wilful??) confusion in the minds and actions of those who are in the highest positions of power and decision-making "in the best interests" of dementia-sufferers.

    I may have had a bad day (or longer now!) - but it's nothing compared to the bad day that I sincerely hope they will have, once my reply wings its way to them both. :mad::eek:

    Chin up! Or chin out - ....
  18. Grannie G's Avatar
    I agree with you both and realise I am tired and frustrated by my own stupidity and ignorance.
    What`s all this about stupidity and ignorance Jancis? You know this is not true. Please don`t put yourself down.
    I have been concerned lately that I am here for my own benefit
    Aren`t we all?
    I get more from TP than I give I can assure you.
  19. Jancis's Avatar
    Thank you Sylvia and JPG1 for your very helpful and generous comments - I didn't expect this from my blog - but it helps me so much just to know people are interested. I agree with you both and realise I am tired and frustrated by my own stupidity and ignorance. I have been concerned lately that I am here for my own benefit.
  20. JPG1's Avatar
    Jancis, this is my POV for what it’s worth.

    The question you are asking yourself is the very same question that many many TP members ask on a fairly regular, or even fairly irregular, basis.

    Speaking personally only, I don’t think the problem you’re facing is anything to do with a (failed/aborted/abandoned) TP poll/survey.

    A TP poll is as valid as anything/all things posted on TP.

    Each post is just one person’s opinion; one person’s experience of dementia; one person’s way of posting; one person’s cry for help/support; one person’s expression of their own frustration; one person’s ‘getting something off their chest’.

    As Grannie G said, when you consider the numbers of posting-TP members v. the number of dementia sufferers UK-wide, and also worldwide, let alone those who care about those dementia sufferers, it brings it all into perspective. A microcosm of dementia experience, perhaps?

    TP is TP.

    Not every single TP member is wanting/needing/asking for the classic forms of support, although that is obviously one purpose of the forum. The forum should be welcoming enough to encompass even the less-than-classic forms of support. As long as they're decent and above-board.

    There are many TP members who no longer have a need to ‘care’ 24/7 about/for/with/hands on/from a distance/across the seas/across the sound-waves/across the miles about their own loved ones with dementia, sometimes because their loved ones may have departed from our world, but they are also able to contribute, I would like to hope, making their own personal observations.

    And that may well be their own ‘support corset’. But it also provides a corset for others, if only for those others who may experience similar thoughts, events, intrusions, and so on.

    TP can be depressing to read. It can be enormously frightening. It can be many different things on any day, depending on the posts and on the reader's mindset of any given day.

    Take from it whatever you need, Jancis. Give to it whatever you need.

    You will not be alone in your giving and taking. You will be in good company.
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