Blog Comments

  1. Nan2seven's Avatar
    Dear Haylett, Loo and Chucky - Thank you for your posts here. Haylett, I think I am at last beginning to relax a bit over Brian's care. It's been a long time coming. Loo, am just about to catch up with your thread - do hope there is some good news for you soon. Chucky, I chased after the two ambulancemen with Brian on the stretcher. I rather wish now I HAD turned to that particular nurse and said something rather choice and crisp, but haven't yet worked out what it would have been. Am working on it as Brian could possibly find himself back on the same ward sometime ....

    Love, Nan XXX
  2. chucky's Avatar
    If i were you i'd have marched back over and said "excuse me what did you just say" and put her right on the spot, cheeky *****. You're already doing most of her job as it is. If she feels shes not appreciated then she should lose the attitude. I'm amazed you resisted the urge to slap her!!
  3. Loopiloo's Avatar
    No wonder you were exhausted, what a day. I was so angry at that nurse muttering prompts of "Thank you, thank you". What a cheek! She is paid to do her job, and like you I always say thank you.

    Brian sounded more settled and I do so hope this continues. Also that the pace slows down for you and you get a chance to recharge your batteries. I am shocked by my own utter exhaustion, so goodness knows what yours is like. You are a wonderful carer to Brian, but I'm hoping for an easier time, some rest, for you. Take care of yourself.
    Loo xx
  4. Haylett's Avatar
    My heart goes out to you Nan. How you have kept going is nothing short of miraculous - and to have the energy and presence of mind to document Brian's care in such detail is remarkable. I just wonder what would have happened to a Brian with no Nan. I hope this is the start of a happier and easier time for you both - and I do hope there is someone taking care of you. Hx
  5. Izzy's Avatar
    I hope things are a bit better for Brian today. x
  6. grobertson62's Avatar
    hope the doc came to see Brian
    thinking of you

  7. Haylett's Avatar
    Dear Nan, impossible to know what to say except that I am thinking of you both, hoping that tomorrow is kinder. And reading everything that you write in "silent" support. hx
  8. Nan2seven's Avatar
    Yes, they do talk to him, Sylvia - but occasionally (as happened this morning while I was there) they will call to each other from the ward to whomever is behind the curtains with Brian - "Mary, are you there?" kind of thing - and when Brian's nurse replied, he thought she was talking to him. It annoyed me, but in every other respect she had been very good with him. Nan XXX
  9. BeckyJan's Avatar
    You and Brian are having a tough time, Nan. My thoughts are with you both.
  10. piedwarbler's Avatar
    You have had a hard evening witnessing all this and making sure Brian was well cared for. Please take some time to unwind if you can. Thinking of you with love and prayers for strength and peace tonight xxxx
  11. Grannie G's Avatar
    I too would mention it Nan.

    It might not be the reason Brian gets agitated but as he is unable to say, it would do no harm to mention it, just in case.

    Dhiren is often living in his younger days. It seems common in so many people in the later stages of dementia. When he asks for his mother, I have no indication what else is going through his mind.

    Do the carers talk him through personal care?
  12. grobertson62's Avatar
    oh Nan what can I say?
    they may find the information useful & it may help them understand

    I know when dad was in I hear him one night screaming & shouting & felt like I should apologise

    We were lucky that the sister on the ward was so nice & explained that they understood he was being washed & as a man of 78 this would not be something he would be used to or want & he didn't have a say in it

    At least they were understanding. I do hope them appreciating what happened in the past has a bearing on his present & they may then alter their behavior

    love Gill
  13. rosaliesal's Avatar
    Your explanation of the past incident could well be why he was alarmed. It could also be because we learn early in life not to take our clothes off in public, let alone let strangers do it for us. Listening and understanding is something carers need but some obviously are not so good at reading the signs. You did your bit so you can be proud of thinking it all through. It is not your fault if your explanation was dismissed. Eventually he may well forget to get distressed. Try asking him why and ask questions, you may well get the answers you seek
    Updated 01-04-2011 at 05:25 PM by rosaliesal
  14. kassy's Avatar
    I agree with Christin,i would tell them Nan.
    My mum had a problem with personal care,not like Brians,but she was terrified of water.Before dementia she hadn't had a bath for most of her adult life,she would have a strip wash with the smallest amount of water in the sink.
    When mum first went into her care home,they sat her in the bath and attempted to wash her hair and used a shower spray.Needless to say she screamed the place down and they didn't do it again after i told them of her fears.
    Mum forgot most things,but not the things that scared her.
  15. Christin's Avatar
    Oh, Nan. I have to say, in my own opinion, I would tell them. I really believe that memories from the past, which can perhaps seem so vivid, can explain so much about people's behaviour.

    It's only my opinion, and of course we can never be certain unless they tell us themselves. I wonder what others will think. x
  16. Biscuit's Avatar
    Dear Nan,

    I can so sympathise with the way the hospital staff treat you.
    My husband broke his leg 12 months ago, and was in hospital for 2 months. had a steel rod in his femur, then got a wound infection and a blood infection.

    At first I was going and staying with him during the day, but after a couple of weeks I was told that I could only visit at visiting times. Sometimes would arrive in the afternoon to see him slumped in the chair with a drink knocked over on the table, the muttering to himself. It would break my heart.
  17. Nan2seven's Avatar
    Thank you so much for your post, rosaliesal. This is supposed to be a trial period (one week so far) and I am not altogether happy with the way he is so zonked still in the mornings. And if he is discharged on Monday, I must make sure that the meds. are reviewed again soon. He is indeed on a lot of other meds. as well. Love, Nan XXX
  18. rosaliesal's Avatar
    You are right. One tablet made my mum sleep for half of the day and eventually with a doubled dose from the doctor the sleep took over her life. At first three doctors told me that they did not know why she was sleeping so much as usually these tablets did not have this effect. Then one person admitted that if taken with other tablets "they are only just beginning to realize that they do make some people sleep" Now she is not on them at my request and she gets up at a more normal time.
  19. Skye's Avatar
    You're right to insist on a written response, Nan. These interviews/informal discussions are stressful, and you have too much stress already.
  20. Nan2seven's Avatar
    That particular nurse, Hazel, (learned this from another visitor whose husband has been there for 12 weeks) walked to work this morning, began his shift at 7 a.m. and was still there at 7 p.m. when I left Brian this evening. He is just brilliant with Brian.

    I told the PALS lady I don't want 'phone calls or informal discussions. I want the matter dealt with in writing. And she fully understood. I have said all I want to say in my letter.

    Love, Nan XXX
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