Worst day

[RosiesMark]

Thanks to everyone who has read my previous posts re my dear Mum.

4 years after diagnosis with this dreadful disease Mum is now in eternal peace after passing away earlier today, peacefully and comfortabl.y. I’m just so grateful that there are carers who can deal with the indignities of those in their charge with the utmost respect and care. I’m in awe of them.

I suspected I was unprepared for today even though the writing has been on the wall for sometime and I was right, it has been a completely appalling day and I haven’t been able to speak to any relatives or friends, only able to text them the sad news which is a complete cop out but all I could manage today.

I’m lucky I have love and support from my wife and family, friends and neighbour.s.

My wonderful Mum is now reunited with my wonderful Dad.

For me the lesson I would pass on from this terrible journey with Mums illness is - don’t hesitate too long when deciding to withdraw life sustaining treatment from your loved one. Sadly I think I took this immensely difficult decision later in Mums illness progression than was optimal for her - but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Thanks again for all your support and understanding, it has been an immense help.

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry to read your news @RosiesMark. I’m glad your mum’s passing was peaceful.

Please keep posting here. I know you will get so much understanding and support.

Sending my condolences and wishing you strength for the days and weeks ahead.

 

[Grannie G]

My sincere condolences to you @RosiesMark

I doubt any of us are prepared for this no matter how big is the writing on the wall. For me it was a mixture of deep sorrow and relief and the two don't marry very well.

Take care now.

 

[nellbelles]

My sincere condolences @RosiesMark wishing you strength for the coming days.

 

[RosiesMark]

I’m so sorry to read your news @RosiesMark. I’m glad your mum’s passing was peaceful.

Please keep posting here. I know you will get so much understanding and support.

Sending my condolences and wishing you strength for the days and weeks ahead.

Thank you Izzy, I will keep checking in

 

[CAL Y]

@RosiesMark I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t think that it was a “cop out “ to inform people by text, from experience I know that it isn’t possible to let everyone know. At least we do have text these days.
Please don’t feel guilty about your decision about withdrawing life sustaining treatment too late.
We are not medical professionals.
I hope that you can take comfort from your wife and family at this sad time.

 

[RosiesMark]

My sincere condolences to you @RosiesMark

I doubt any of us are prepared for this no matter how big is the writing on the wall. For me it was a mixture of deep sorrow and relief and the two don't marry very well.

Take care now.

Thank you, indeed there is relief but as you say it’s not like mixing hot and cold water to achieve a mid temperatur,e, the two sides co-exist without actually affecting each other. Brain is flitting from one side to the other at the moment.

 

[RosiesMark]

My sincere condolences @RosiesMark wishing you strength for the coming days.

Thanks Helen, some sunshine now is most welcome

 

[MargaretT]

Thanks to everyone who has read my previous posts re my dear Mum.

4 years after diagnosis with this dreadful disease Mum is now in eternal peace after passing away earlier today, peacefully and comfortabl.y. I’m just so grateful that there are carers who can deal with the indignities of those in their charge with the utmost respect and care. I’m in awe of them.

I suspected I was unprepared for today even though the writing has been on the wall for sometime and I was right, it has been a completely appalling day and I haven’t been able to speak to any relatives or friends, only able to text them the sad news which is a complete cop out but all I could manage today.

I’m lucky I have love and support from my wife and family, friends and neighbour.s.

My wonderful Mum is now reunited with my wonderful Dad.

For me the lesson I would pass on from this terrible journey with Mums illness is - don’t hesitate too long when deciding to withdraw life sustaining treatment from your loved one. Sadly I think I took this immensely difficult decision later in Mums illness progression than was optimal for her - but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Thanks again for all your support and understanding, it has been an immense help.

I'm sorry to hear your news, I hope you will find strength and support here in your days of need.

 

[RosiesMark]

I'm sorry to hear your news, I hope you will find strength and support here in your days of need.

Thank you MargaretT, next few days will be quite a lot to deflect the sorrow but will visit here for moral support

 

[canary]

Im so sorry for your loss @RosiesMark
These are difficult days when grief is so raw. Dont feel guilty about using texts
I knew mum was dying, but it still came as a shock.
xx

 

[RosiesMark]

@RosiesMark I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t think that it was a “cop out “ to inform people by text, from experience I know that it isn’t possible to let everyone know. At least we do have text these days.
Please don’t feel guilty about your decision about withdrawing life sustaining treatment too late.
We are not medical professionals.
I hope that you can take comfort from your wife and family at this sad time.

Thank you for your kind words which are appreciated. Had just over 6 hours continuous sleep for first time last night in can’t remember how long so feeling a bit more positive and less self recriminatory. I still have times when I am haunted by the things I didn’t get right for my first wife when she died from a long battle with cancer 13 years ago. When my second wife died from cancer 7 years ago I think I had learned and I don’t have any doubts I got everything right for her. When my Dad died 8 years ago I made decisions I feel comfortable with. My regret for Mum is I didn’t get every thing right for her journey and will have to reflect on why and hope over time I will become reconciled to my actions.
My (4th) current wife is my rock and an amazing lady who is pulling my through and I’m blessed to have her and my small family alongside me now.
Thank you

 

[RosiesMark]

Im so sorry for your loss @RosiesMark
These are difficult days when grief is so raw. Dont feel guilty about using texts
I knew mum was dying, but it still came as a shock.
xx

Sorry for your loss Canary and thank you for reply. I know that it is good to cry and is part of the grieving process but yesterday I just couldn’t face anymore of it, when sending texts no one can see or hear you crying as you type and my weakness is not exposed. I did try to tell Mums sister, she phoned me to check on Mum, but I just completely chocked and my wife took over the call. I will try to speak to my aunt later today and try to hold it together, she is trying to deal with her own grief so I do need to support her.
xx

 

[GillP]

Sincere condolences for your loss. Try not to blame yourself for decisions made about your Mum’s treatment. We are not medics and so cannot process things like this. Also don’t beat yourself up about using text, it is completely understandable. Be gentle with yourself.

 

[Jale]

Sending sincere condolences to you RosiesMark. Take care and be kind to yourself x

 

[RosiesMark]

Sending sincere condolences to you RosiesMark. Take care and be kind to yourself x

Thank you, another tough day but have managed to speak to two relatives and Mums oldest friend, well nearly, couldn’t finish the conversation when they started saying how wonderful mum was.
Take care x