Well the time came, mum moved into her ch last Monday, we had no choice she needed 24/7 care that we just could not give working full time. We did as much as we could, took turns sleeping (or not due to the numerous trips to the loo) and being there every time we were not at work but it wasn't enough.
All has seemed fine, she's actually taken to it quite well, it's been more of a wrench for us than for her, UNTIL TONIGHT. We took mum out for tea as we'd not done anything with her as just us girls (mum me and my sisters) for a while due to how she's been, but when we took her 'home' she's cried and told us she just wants to go home (her own home) and that she'll be good, she'l stay in bed, she'll get up early enough for us not to be late for work.
She's had a good chunk of clarity tonight and what's been said to us has devistated us. I feel like I've let her down, I know in my head she's in the best place (she's in a nice small very friendly place) , but my heart is screaming at me to scoop her up and take her home. She still just wants to be with dad (passed nearly 2 years ago) and says he's not with her at the ch. She said he was with her when she was at her home.
We know she'll probably has 'left us' again tomorrow and be back in her own little world but this is heartbreaking. Are we doing the wrong thing trying to keep it how it was before the ch where whenever we could we'd take her out on outings or for tea like we have tonight.
Getting a migraine just thinking about all this and feeling so bad like I do.
How do we cope with this, or don't you.
All has seemed fine, she's actually taken to it quite well, it's been more of a wrench for us than for her, UNTIL TONIGHT. We took mum out for tea as we'd not done anything with her as just us girls (mum me and my sisters) for a while due to how she's been, but when we took her 'home' she's cried and told us she just wants to go home (her own home) and that she'll be good, she'l stay in bed, she'll get up early enough for us not to be late for work.
She's had a good chunk of clarity tonight and what's been said to us has devistated us. I feel like I've let her down, I know in my head she's in the best place (she's in a nice small very friendly place) , but my heart is screaming at me to scoop her up and take her home. She still just wants to be with dad (passed nearly 2 years ago) and says he's not with her at the ch. She said he was with her when she was at her home.
We know she'll probably has 'left us' again tomorrow and be back in her own little world but this is heartbreaking. Are we doing the wrong thing trying to keep it how it was before the ch where whenever we could we'd take her out on outings or for tea like we have tonight.
Getting a migraine just thinking about all this and feeling so bad like I do.
How do we cope with this, or don't you.