worries over care home altercations

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Bec-f, Aug 22, 2019.

  1. Bec-f

    Bec-f New member

    Jul 25, 2018
    7
    We had to make the difficult decision to place my mum in permanent care in October last year. When she moved in, the care home was only around half full as they were undergoing a refurbishment. They care was excellent, and although mum was not fully settled, she was enjoying her time there and getting on with staff although was often tearful.
    in the last couple of months, the care home is getting busier and near capacity. Two of the newer residents are very strong gentlemen with what appear to be aggression issues. We have witnessed fights a couple of times and one of the chaps has now been asked to leave the home because of the aggression and was found with his hands around my mums neck.
    Since this incident my mums mood has changed and we have had feedback that my mum is getting more physical towards other residents if there is any altercation. Rather than walking away or shouting back as she would previously, she would throw her arm out.
    Today my mum was found on the floor having been pushed to the ground by the second of the aggressive male residents. As the staff didn't witness it, they have implied that it could have been my mums fault as the man had a scratch directly behind his ear..
    This man is well over 6ft. my mum is 4'7 and also has no nails as they have been bitten right down, so to scratch him directly behind the ear, i imagine would be pretty hard. However when talking to the carers, the man was sitting there actively scratching behind his ears, something which they seem to refuse to take into account.
    The residents who witnessed it said that he simply walked in and pushed mum over.
    If it was indeed mums fault, I would be the first to acknowledge this and would welcome the correct course of action to be taken for the safety of other residents, but this case seems very odd, like they are trying to protect the other gentleman who has been in physical fights with other residents and also staff members.

    The unfortunate part about all of this is that there are never any staff to witness any incidents to know why they have occurred and what exactly happened- especially at night. it is more than once I have found a resident on the floor whilst they are having a handover of staff in the afternoon.
    I suppose the point in me writing this is two reasons:
    1. increasing concerns for my mum and others safety due to the home management
    2. Worrying about my mums changing behaviour and what will happen as she has only been at the home for 10 months and there are no other suitable homes in the area.

    Has anyone had similar issues?
     
  2. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    386
    I have had issue with the care home my fathers in. The issues were nothing like yours it was about a couple of incidents were my father was left alone to feed himself and being left in his room alone, he can’t walk or propel his wheelchair amongst other things. Anyway I wrote a complaint which was dismissed even though the evidence was obvious! It was like banging my head against a brick wall! They were never going to admit a mistake. Also I was worried sick they would throw him out of the care home and I feel intimidated when I visit now so I wish I’d never bothered! Think carefully before complaining, particularly about the behaviour of other residents. You could ask what they are doing to limit the aggressive behaviour, it could be that they are doing something you’re unaware of?
     
  3. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,642
    Nottinghamshire
    In my dad's carehome there were residents who could get aggressive but there were also staff always around to head off trouble before it got out of hand.
    I'd be very concerned if there weren't and be asking management about their safeguarding policy - in the nicest way possible.
     
  4. Baker17

    Baker17 Registered User

    Mar 9, 2016
    385
    I only had once incident involving my husband where a lady resident who was rather vocally loud upset my husband and and he went to grab her wrist ( he is is very mild mannered normally) but staff were always present and they stopped it. It had to be reported as a safeguarding issue though to social services maybe you should ask if it has been reported? Where my husband is now there have been several things I have seen that I’ve not been happy about, never any staff about! So I rang the CQC and reported the issues as a concern, I also contacted SS about them so as there is a record of them
     

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