worried

patriciacolliso

Registered User
Nov 23, 2005
20
london
merry christmas everyone. my husband john is in a residentral care home, has been in there 25 days now. he suffers with AD. the home seems ok the carers are friendly enough. they had a lovely xmas party last thursday afternoon for them and family.I went to see my husband yesterday, and because my husband has this habit of keep putting his hand down his trousers and touching his bum one of the carers called me to one side, and ask me to make him stop doing it. she said the other carers dont take no notice of it and help him when he needs it ,BUT she said it makes her feel bad and cannot handle it. made me very upset. she also said that he might be ask to leave the home. I told the manager when my husband went in the home everything myhusband gets up to in front of my social worker and age concern, and he said not to worry about anything they could copewith all that. I am disabled myself, and before he went into the home I looked after him for two years all on my own I have no family to help. I feel that she is the wrong job if she cannot do her job. I want to tell the manager about her, but I dont want my husband to suffer if I conplain.
 

daughter

Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
824
Hi particiacolliso,

Merry Christmas to you too. I also feel concerned about this carer's comments to you. Perhaps she has not been trained to understand that a person with AD can not control their actions, nor can relatives tell them to control their actions and expect that information to be remembered!

Just a quiet word with the Manager should help put your mind at ease. It certainly isn't this carer's place to say anything about your husband leaving the home.

Best wishes,
 

Finnian

Registered User
Sep 26, 2005
60
U.K.
I'd echo daughter's comments. Have a word with the manager and resolve your fears as soon as possible. Many people with dementia have little habits that can be displayed in public that normally we would do in private. Unfortunately that is part of the illness. Any good home with well trained staff would work round it one way or another.

Hope you can put an end to your worries.

Finnian
 

patriciacolliso

Registered User
Nov 23, 2005
20
london
problem solved

hello finnian good news the carer concerned has been dismissed from her job I am so glad I reported her . she might have done it again to someone else. also have been told that no way my john will have to leave. I feel so much better now. have a happy new year.
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Patricia,

Good news indeed. Well done for being brave enough to take a stand.

All 'real' carers are very well aware of the little idiocyncratic habits that AD sufferers develop. These habits are accepted as 'normal' within the bounds of AD and if that 'carer' couldn't handle it, then it was her problem and she was definitely in the wrong job.

Jude
 

boomer

Registered User
Nov 21, 2005
20
62
peak district england
patricia

i am so glad that you talked to the manager...this person was definately not suited to the job....my dad has had his first respite stay a few weeks ago ....i was a little concerned for his care ...because i have worked in these homes ..so i do know some staff ,unfortunately,do not work in the setting to care and understand their clients....i am so glad that she is no longer in the care setting ,i doubt that she has had much trining..if any ...and am pleased that your john is in an understanding and caring setting ....well done to you for sticking up for johns rights as hae cannot himself ...anne x
 

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