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Worried and sad about mum


Registered User
Jan 29, 2018
My mum has been in a care home for three years and she is in the later stages of dementia which means she is very sleepy. I was allowed to visit her briefly on Mother’s Day and I call once a week but only get ‘yeah she’s ok’ from the new manager who I really don’t like (the old manager was amazing) and I’m worried sick about her. The home always prized itself on having amazing and kind staff and I’m worried that agency staff will now go in and won’t be as kind. Feel devastated that I can’t see her not to mention terrible guilt as I feel like I have deserted her.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
You haven`t deserted your mother @Portia100874. You might feel you have but you know you haven`t.

These are circumstances well out of our control and no one could have prepared for it.

I understand how devastating it must be to be unable to visit and check on her yourself but I also understand your hands are tied.

I`m sorry you have lost confidence in the staff. All I can say in consolation, and it may be seen as a cynical reaction, is no one would want any harm to come to their residents because it would affect their reputation in the future .

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