I've been looking at the forum for the last few weeks hoping I wouldn't need to post but things are getting worse with our mum and my sister and I really aren't sure what to do. I'm finding it hard to know how to put this so sorry if I don't make much sense.
My mum is 60, lives alone, works hard and enjoys socialising but over the last 18 months her personality has started to change. She's become increasingly argumentative and has developed sleep problems, has started saying mean things about her friends and co workers, repeats herself or repeats back what you have said but in a different way (this one is hard for me to explain), she is not seeing her friends or going out as often. She doesn't seem to care about money anymore and is spending more than usual. Odd things like we went to my friends funeral and as the coffin came in she was saying 'oh **** this is *******, **** ‘ under her breath, she'd of never of done this previously. At first we thought she might be suffering from depression as she is only 60 but now it doesn't look like that now. I brushed by a plant at her home and all the leaves fell off and I said, "mum I think you need to water your plants a bit more". She said "no I don't I water them everyday". I replied well maybe you're watering them to much? and she said "no I'm not I only water them once a week". So many of our conversations go like this now.
The personality changes are more problematic than the memory blips but those have also been getting worse but its little things and doesn't seem to be a consistent problem. For example I mentioned someone who my mum has known since he was a child and she had no idea who I was talking about despite us having a conversation about him days before. Yesterday evening my sister and I arranged to go over to her house and 45 mins after we spoke to her and turned up she had forgotten we were coming. We said she seemed a little confused and she said we had just woken her up but that wasn't true as when we got to her house she was in the kitchen. We mentioned again that we were worried (it probably wasn't the best time to bring it up tbh) and she became really defensive and then shouted at us to get out. Its 2am now and my mum just rang my sister to find out why she had been calling her. My sister was in bed fast asleep our mum apologised and hung up on her when this was said. My sister messaged me really upset as we don't know what we can do to help her.
I have spoken to our GP who although is able to listen to my concerns can't really do a lot without my mum agreeing to an appointment and she outright refuses to speak to anyone. Also explaining someones change in behaviour is difficult especially when you are telling a person that something is wrong when they didn't know the person before the problems appeared. Any discussion where we voice our concerns to mum is met with hostility and aggression. Some things are so subtle that only the people closest to her can see them. We're getting more worried as our mum can't see the issues and thinks we are ganging up on her which I guess is understandable. We're scared that without help things may progress rapidly and that she will end up losing her job, friends and independence. Does this sound like a form of dementia and how do we convince someone to seek help before things get too bad?
To add to the problem my sister works and is a mum of 3 and I have a few health issues including uncontrolled epilepsy and I'm trying to overcome agoraphobia so I can't drive and I have no partner or close friends that I can ask for help from so getting to her in a hurry isn't possible. We're worried that she won't be able to get to her if she needs us.
Sorry this became such a massive post I tried to keep it short but it didn't turn out that way.
My mum is 60, lives alone, works hard and enjoys socialising but over the last 18 months her personality has started to change. She's become increasingly argumentative and has developed sleep problems, has started saying mean things about her friends and co workers, repeats herself or repeats back what you have said but in a different way (this one is hard for me to explain), she is not seeing her friends or going out as often. She doesn't seem to care about money anymore and is spending more than usual. Odd things like we went to my friends funeral and as the coffin came in she was saying 'oh **** this is *******, **** ‘ under her breath, she'd of never of done this previously. At first we thought she might be suffering from depression as she is only 60 but now it doesn't look like that now. I brushed by a plant at her home and all the leaves fell off and I said, "mum I think you need to water your plants a bit more". She said "no I don't I water them everyday". I replied well maybe you're watering them to much? and she said "no I'm not I only water them once a week". So many of our conversations go like this now.
The personality changes are more problematic than the memory blips but those have also been getting worse but its little things and doesn't seem to be a consistent problem. For example I mentioned someone who my mum has known since he was a child and she had no idea who I was talking about despite us having a conversation about him days before. Yesterday evening my sister and I arranged to go over to her house and 45 mins after we spoke to her and turned up she had forgotten we were coming. We said she seemed a little confused and she said we had just woken her up but that wasn't true as when we got to her house she was in the kitchen. We mentioned again that we were worried (it probably wasn't the best time to bring it up tbh) and she became really defensive and then shouted at us to get out. Its 2am now and my mum just rang my sister to find out why she had been calling her. My sister was in bed fast asleep our mum apologised and hung up on her when this was said. My sister messaged me really upset as we don't know what we can do to help her.
I have spoken to our GP who although is able to listen to my concerns can't really do a lot without my mum agreeing to an appointment and she outright refuses to speak to anyone. Also explaining someones change in behaviour is difficult especially when you are telling a person that something is wrong when they didn't know the person before the problems appeared. Any discussion where we voice our concerns to mum is met with hostility and aggression. Some things are so subtle that only the people closest to her can see them. We're getting more worried as our mum can't see the issues and thinks we are ganging up on her which I guess is understandable. We're scared that without help things may progress rapidly and that she will end up losing her job, friends and independence. Does this sound like a form of dementia and how do we convince someone to seek help before things get too bad?
To add to the problem my sister works and is a mum of 3 and I have a few health issues including uncontrolled epilepsy and I'm trying to overcome agoraphobia so I can't drive and I have no partner or close friends that I can ask for help from so getting to her in a hurry isn't possible. We're worried that she won't be able to get to her if she needs us.
Sorry this became such a massive post I tried to keep it short but it didn't turn out that way.