Wonderful me-time .... And returned to a diagnosis at last.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by janey106, May 24, 2015.

  1. janey106

    janey106 Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    First, I just want to acknowledge the many messages of support I had about going away for two weeks, leaving support for Mum (and Dad) in my Sister's hands. It was the most amazing experience meeting up with my youngest daughter who is travelling for 7 months. We spent two weeks travelling round parts of Sri Lanka and for the first time in years I felt really alive...... far from restful but so busy, stimulating and fun that I couldn't dwell on what was happening at home ......and I surprised myself by being okay with that.

    On my return I noticed that my earlier thread had been closed as it appears it may have become a little bit contentious. I am sorry it became difficult for some but thank the moderators for acting to keep everyone on TP safe. Emotions are something most of us have in abundance here so it's good we have boundaries.

    During my holiday, Mum's behaviour deteriorated so Mental Health team got The Consultant involved again. Don't know if I mentioned he rang me personally just before I went away and really wanted to find out details of Mum pre-problems, full history of changes etc and even gave us his personal contact number if we needed it. I could have cried with relief.

    Consultant visited 'on spec' to see Mum and saw at first hand how she is when not 'primed'. Persuaded her to have Voluntary Section as very very concerned about her and she agreed .... She went in to a new hospital ward, single room with her own allocated Doctor and support staff. My Dad and Sister couldn't praise them highly enough. Supposed to be in ther 2-4 weeks as Consultant says she has severe mood disorder and dementia ......first time anyone confirmed it! We explained her GP won't have any of it and he said of course she has dementia ..... The symptoms are just complicated by other factors. Sadly despite some improvements, Mum wouldn't stay more than 4 nights and the Consultant could not enforce it as she had been much calmer, safer for the past two
    days so a forced section would be highly unlikely to be sanctioned.
    Since my return she has continued to be really hostile, barely eating, doing nothing, crying then refusing all offers to do anything but at least less aggressive. MH Team and Consultant monitoring closely.
    The break has allowed me to step back, recover and other family members taken up some slack so I feel we are now a stronger support team to help Mum. The Consultant even remarked on how good it was to see everyone pitching in.
    I truly hope I can hang on to this happy calm as long as possible.
  2. chrisdee

    chrisdee Registered User

    Nov 23, 2014
    Hi Janey, glad that you had such a restorative holiday, all of us can see that it was much needed. I was pleased to see the phrase 'mental health team and Consultant monitoring closely'.
    My Mum was not quite so bad, but very nearly at the sectioning point and I know what a relief it is not only to be 'heard' but to be taken seriously. It sounds as if there is a good team behind you, and IMO that is the key to the best outcome for Mum. I think you are going to be okay, I really do. All the best.
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Well done janey.

    I know how important it is to be listened to and to get professional support and advice on board. It isn`t until you live with disturbed and challenging behaviour that you realise how impossible it is for one person to manage it .

    Apart from the effect on the carer, the torment suffered by the one displaying this behaviour must be unbearable. Those with challenging behaviour may be unable to control it but it doesn`t mean they are not equally distressed by it.
  4. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    Really pleased you had such a good holiday.

    Glad your mum seems to have finally got some help and hope that continues.

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