1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi , just thought I would come on here to let off a little bit of steam . I hope you don't mind? My sister has just texted me to say she had just enjoyed a fabulous weekend with her husband and children Christmas shopping and had just had a lovely bubble bath which her husband had prepared for her , she ended her sentence with the word , Bliss! I on the other hand have had a not so fabulous weekend looking after our mum. It started on Friday , following a 55 hour working week due to staff shortages , having to cancel the only Christmas night out I was going to as I was so tired. Looking after my mum the whole weekend on my own with no one visiting . Having to order my Christmas shopping on line as the shops are too busy to wheel my mum about ( she also gets really fed up ) , had far too many toilet accidents and now to top it all , she has got out of bed 8 times in 3 hours ! So I don't think the word bliss could ever be used to describe my weekend - and tomorrow I will start it all over again . Thank you for listening .
     
  2. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    96
    I'm not surprised you need to let off some steam. I think you should send this post back as a text to your sister !

    Does she normally help you out or is she happy to just let you get on with it?

    I think you deserve a large glass of wine xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  3. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    She comes over on a Tuesday and takes my mum out for a few hours , but I'm at work anyway so it doesn't really help me . My family are a bit more helpful over past 18 months but I so wish they would stop sending me pictures of their holidays or days/ nights out they are having . One sent me a text recently saying spending time with the family . I felt like texting back ' what are mum and I' . I don't mean to have this 'pity party' but sometimes it just gets to me , even though I try not to. On the plus sued my mum helped me decorate the tree and I asked her about Christmas and she said as clear as anything ' it's my birthday too ( which it is on Christmas Day) . I can't remember the last time she could tell me when it was her birthday so that was a nice surprise .
     
  4. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hi louby. You rant away as much as you like.. You need it xx I too have family and friends that send pics of holidays, the sea ( which I have not seen in years), pictures of lovely meals out ect..
    Hope you have got it off your chest now xx best wishes exhausted 2015 xx
     
  5. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Thank you stress head and exhausted 2015 , I feel much better . Reading other peoples postings humbles me and makes me feel lucky for what I have . Not a perfect life but it's mine , so will count my blessings . Best wishes to you this Christmas . Xx
     
  6. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Louby, that's what we're here for and I've done my share of ranting! Makes you wonder if it ever crosses their minds how you might feel about their bless, doesn't it?

    Hope it helped. X
     
  7. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hope your Christmas will be a good one xx
     
  8. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,566
    Female
    Scotland
    People who are not front line carers usually have no idea what it is really like. The tiredness, the boredom, the patience that you often don't feel but need to find. Perhaps your sister could come over and let you have that bubble bath while she keeps Mum amused.
     
  9. Kitten71

    Kitten71 Registered User

    Jul 22, 2013
    157
    East Yorkshire
    Hello there, I sometimes feel like you do, especially when it seems that others are having a nice time and you're left to get on with the caring. However, I reason that when the time comes and it's all over, I will be able to look back and think 'I did my best' or 'I made dad happy that day', whilst others may have regrets about the lack of things they did. I know that people's lives take different directions but you will always have that knowledge that you were there in the time of need and ultimately, we all want to have that one person in our lives. Your mum is lucky that she has you as her special person. I'm sorry that all sounds a bit waffly but I hope you get the gist! :)
     
  10. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    It did help optocarol , thank you . I will ask about her doing that marionq. That could be her Christmas present to me !! Best wishes. Xx
     
  11. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I am not surprised you are fed up with all those thoughtless people and their texts - it made my blood boil just reading it. Don't people EVER think! How many times have we all said that we've lost friends along the way because they don't know how to act and what to say - well Lou when I read your post I'm glad they just drift off and don't say anything!!!!
    Just joining you in your upset for a bit here :(
    I loved your story about your Mum and her birthday - when someone says/does something like that it makes you realise how important you are in their lives - your mum wouldn't have had that conversation with a stranger - shows that all that caring really is worthwhile! I hope you get some sleep tonight with work hours like that
    Thinking of you xxx
     
  12. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Thank you kitten71. Your right , I know I will have no regrets because I believe I have done my best to look after her and although it is really difficult at times, I am trying my best to continue to look after her at home . Best wishes . Xx
     
  13. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Thank you fizzie . My mum and I share a lot of good times . She has a carer too who looks after her when I'm working . Between the two of us I believe we make my mum happy . People are always saying to me how happy my mum is , she's always smiling and loves kisses and cuddles . She also loves to sing . Hope you have a good Christmas and a healthy and happy new year . Xx
     
  14. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Maybe you should ask your sister to cover one of your free days from work regularly so you can claim a little of your life back? I would start with every week as the first negiotiation point and work to once a minth if she says no. You can then send her texts and photos. My sister never agreed but you might have a better one than me! We all need something nice to look forward to. You fould even have a night in a travel lodge and get some sleep. Stay strong. We all understand.
     
  15. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    What a thoughtless and insensitive thing for your sister to do :mad: Why do some people do this sort of thing?
     
  16. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi quilty , I have asked for regular ' breaks ' which are a bit hit and miss but certainly better than I had . I have told my siblings that I expect more from them next year so I will see what happens . I don't know why people are so insensitive Collegegirl , it's as if they just don't think . Sent a text back to my sister explaining my weekend , all I got was a one word reply .. Sorry! Never mind , Christmas is coming and maybe Santa will give me a night off or even better a good nights sleep . Best wishes and thanks for taking the time to reply . X
     

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