Hello, first time here. I am the daughter. Dad has alzheimers and mum is carer.
Things have got to breaking point for mum as the carer and she wants respite.
We are organising that but she has no plan for what happens after that.
I have for the last year and before been offering help. they have seen the Alzheimers people, care organiser and all. My mum sends them away saying she can manage.
Home help people have visited. She doesn't want them.
So now because she is exhausted from not having help, dad will probably end up in fulltime care. You have to know my dad to understand this perhaps, he has always wanted to be in his own home and to die there. As a child I remember him saying "they will have to carry me out in a box".
I am ill long term myself but I have and continue to offer help to my mum. She won't even have a milkman. I have now got to the stage where I hate her. I can't even speak to her at the moment. things have got so bad because she won't allow any help other than family.
I spent two nights alone with my dad this week and I insisted she sleep at my brothers house. I was prepared to stay there the whole week. But brother has now gone on holiday and mum went home because she didn't want to be there on her own. I came home in total despair. Now I feel like I have lost my mum and my dad. I am so angry with her. People tell me she needs me. But I have tried so hard to help and all I get is excuses that make no sense to me.
I have walked away because I can't take any more and I don't want my father in permanant care home because he will die of a broken heart that his wife has left him there. Please don't tell me he will settle in because if you know my dad he won't. We tried day care and he tried to escape and go home. He just wants to be left in peace in his own home.
Thanks for any understanding of the situation you can give me. I currently feel like I want to die myself!!
Things have got to breaking point for mum as the carer and she wants respite.
We are organising that but she has no plan for what happens after that.
I have for the last year and before been offering help. they have seen the Alzheimers people, care organiser and all. My mum sends them away saying she can manage.
Home help people have visited. She doesn't want them.
So now because she is exhausted from not having help, dad will probably end up in fulltime care. You have to know my dad to understand this perhaps, he has always wanted to be in his own home and to die there. As a child I remember him saying "they will have to carry me out in a box".
I am ill long term myself but I have and continue to offer help to my mum. She won't even have a milkman. I have now got to the stage where I hate her. I can't even speak to her at the moment. things have got so bad because she won't allow any help other than family.
I spent two nights alone with my dad this week and I insisted she sleep at my brothers house. I was prepared to stay there the whole week. But brother has now gone on holiday and mum went home because she didn't want to be there on her own. I came home in total despair. Now I feel like I have lost my mum and my dad. I am so angry with her. People tell me she needs me. But I have tried so hard to help and all I get is excuses that make no sense to me.
I have walked away because I can't take any more and I don't want my father in permanant care home because he will die of a broken heart that his wife has left him there. Please don't tell me he will settle in because if you know my dad he won't. We tried day care and he tried to escape and go home. He just wants to be left in peace in his own home.
Thanks for any understanding of the situation you can give me. I currently feel like I want to die myself!!